Well the meeting yesterday was fun

[coff33pot]

excuse that they couldnt get hold of anyone to confirm sensory course. Insisting that OT provide report first before they do which OT wont as they wont do any of it till they go on course. Stops OT from doing block sessions. Lying again saying they never got salt report despite salt in the room and me photocopying it and giving it to them on last appt (it was good to shoot them down in that respect) ASD team was supposed to be contacted 5 weeks ago as agreed in last meet.........NOPE not done so at least LA advised them it must be done.

Another EP now assessing ffs already had two why is another going to make any bloody difference and yet another meeting with this one which is a totally pointless excercise as either a) she will see the same issues and give the same advice everyone has ignored or b) she has sprung out of woodwork to see things of a totally different angle to back up crap school.

Managed to get Ds on time last week due to sensory advice. used to be 9.40 shrunk mins slowly and he has now coped with 9am (after excercises have finished which stresses him out) but no they just GOT to point out the school start time isnt 9am just to try and off track the meeting and shoot me down.

Junior school were there 3 times they admitted that they made mistakes to hint that this school were making mistakes. They said why is it necessary to write now when its causing so much anxiety? They were on my side which I am grateful.

BUT what hurts the most is that the bitch from hell (HT/senco) sat accross from me and couldnt look me in the eye and came out with due to his dxs (and read them all slowly off) The school felt that he would be unable to survive in a MS school. She has promised to act on report after report over the months, promised to act on a statment, promised all this will help my son and gullible fucking stupid me changed my mind about pulling him out 14 monts ago because the dangle of a "dx makes it more helpfull to understand and help your son"

She used me to get everything defined to try and throw my son away rather than admit she has failed him and to start again. I have cracked and I cant repeat what I want to do to her right now.

She even had the ordacity to repeat it a second time in the meeting. I dont know how I havent killed this woman the urge is overwhelming. :(

The LA told them to do a teachers assessment re the sats instead. Also try a softly softly approach yesterday for a week or so and go back to art and crafts and use mediums to regain his confidence.

Did they fk
Home book.............DS was uncooperative today reading, literacy blah blah. Bad afternoon would not go in to hall with everyone and do PE and would not go into hall to do singing. HE DOESNT COPE WITH THIS AND THEY KNOW IT!

Now this boy isnt agressive nothing to say he is but low and behold on the ASD form DS is miraculously now agressive I GIVE UP

He woke up this morning and said mum I feel ill and did I try and coax him? no whats the point

:( Coff. (((hugs)))

Yet another crappy meeting for one of our MNSNers :(

So to outline their problems:

1. Your DS can't get sensory OT as they haven't been on a course - WTF
2. Lying that they hadn't got SALT report - WTF
3. ASD outreach not contacted - WTF
4. Your son has the same issues that he had 14 months ago - he just has a clutch of dx - only now he has them has she deemed that he can't cope with mainstreadm - WTF

So is the Junior school still happy to take him or are you thinking SS?

Should have whacked her one.

Can you take him off roll and HE until September? Is that possible with your business? It sounds like his stress levels )and of course yours are ridiculously high due to the way that this school have treated you to.

Are you limited due to your location to only a couple of schools or are there options available to you.

Coff, you have the whole of MN voodoo on your side.

Nothing evil or criminal will happen to this woman as a result but she'll probably lose one of her favourite earrings on her commute tomorrow and the next day her diet coke will spill on her skirt making her look like she's pissed herself!

You have shown an amazing amount of self control coff.

I reached a point with the HT/ senco at Dd3's old school wherr i thought i was going to shake her.

I had to walk away and it was the best thing i have ever done. Dd3's new school is the most amazing place.

IMHO HT's should not EVER be senco's the roles are too conflicting.

I really feel for you, no child or parent should ever be treated like this. Some people are not worth fighting, sometimes you have to just walk away.

Good luck and be kind to yourselves.

I have my pins at the ready. I'll get my cats to break into her fridge and eat all her food (this is their favourite trick) and I'll get DS to empty his potty seat all over her office chair..........

When you finally calm down (and I get the feeling it may be a few months) - write to OFSTEAD. Bitch HT needs to fail an inspection to bring the obvious home to her methinks. Nothing else will work.

Or you could contact the ASD team yourself to get the ball rolling. Oh and send a letter offering to sort out a private OT and then sending the LEA the invoice. Failure to implement the statement means you could in theory go to the LGO.

Is any of it worth it though for the sake of a couple of months till the summer now? Can you home ed for the rest of the summer term and focus on working with the junior school to ease transition?

When it all gets too much for me I try and focus just on the outcomes I CAN achieve without going nuts. In your case I think that's just working flat out to ensure everything that should be is in place is all there and ready for September. The junior school nice and the opposite of his current school.

My father was there or I would have turned the tables upside down there and then and took my son home to be honest.

OT been in assessed, advised and offered help. They havent used any of it. The OT and the salt bless them know there are barriers and are trying to force them to go on this course. Said they havent got a clue and dont understand anything about sensory needs at all. OT feels if she gives them the full OT report they will read it and bin it like they have everything else. I understand where the OT is coming from but it is sad that she cant help him because they wont let her.

They lied twice about salt reports now in both meets. Language for Thinking was supposed to be started months ago. No it hasnt.

Junior school was fab in the circs as when the time keeping bit came up they said they made the mistake with an intake with AS and soon learnt that these children need time and that they allow him in at 10 everymorning unless he feels he can cope.

When they went on re writing Juniors again said that it has taken them 2 years for this particular lad but he can write now :) they contstantly used paints and laptops and went under his speed and again they said they made mistakes which slowed this down but once they learnt to go with the flow the boy grew confidence in time.

When infants still refused to give him quiet area and keep him shut in class. Juniors again said they made this error and changed tactic.

They were trying to help so I think they will still have him

Good suggestion, to write to ofsted but before you do make a formal complaint to the govenors and copy the HT into the letter. Then complain to the LA. You have to follow these steps otherwise ofsted wont do anything.

There is a protocol that is there to protect crap HT's and if you dont follow the protocol, they dont act on anything.

Nobody... NOBODY should have to go through this to get support for their child. I am so for you!! (and your son!!)

When I read stuff like this, I just want to tell you all to bring your children here to DS2's school.

Isn't there some way of holding them responsible?? After all, they have failed your son spectacularly.

I personally think that we should have two sticky threads in this section - one to name and shame schools/LAs that are horrible .. and one to praise those that are good. It's just appalling... it shouldn't matter where you are in the UK... children should be supported. End of.

Do you want the Juniors to have him? Do you feel that it is the right school for him.

It really sounds like a crap school. I thought mine is bad but the SENCO is retiring so I'm playing a waiting game. At least ours has done some of the OT stuff and doesn't lie about reports not being received.

I'm sure that the HT can feel our wrath from here.

Aww bollocks, coff33. I've made the wax figure, now just need a lock of hair and some nail clippings. Karma will get her, eventually.

I'd give up on this pile of shite, (except for the complaints, of course.) Just get through to the end of term as best you can and concentrate on the Juniors.

and (((hugs)))

Thanks for the group voodoo :) I love the potty emptying idea too.

This woman is a middle aged childless woman that goes red the very moment she lies and I want Wets AK47.

I still had the pride to remain firm (thanks to Dad) on the comment she made about him not surviving MS.

I said to the LA woman I have to reply to that one. I faced her and said all that sentence has proved to us all here that you are NOT going to meet his needs, have refused to meet his needs and have no intention of meeting them. that she has failed to help even though false promises were made. That the TAs are worth their weight in gold and have to suffer DS distress. That she has failed, failed DS and failed in supporting her TAs to understand his needs. I ended it with she has confirmed that she intends to be discrimmatory against my son as long as he is here. That I hardly think she is proffessional to have such an opinion due to the fact that DS has had no help, no understanding and no stratagies put in place for him.

Because I clouded her truimphant below the belt moment she had another go half hour later.

Think is even my Dad said that that woman will never help him and nor will the teacher. He did say others in the room were on my side (he doesnt get mad he analyzes) If my mother was there she would have said..............assholes to it all lol and stormed out and got her grandson

Its opened my Dads eyes who said he never realised just how much hell they put us through. Yes I have talked to them but seeing it I guess is different.

Thing is the second time she said it I squared up to her and told her when my son passes his GCSEs I will bring him back for her to apologise to him and tell him just how crap she was in her judgements

Woo hoo! Go coff33pot! Did you really say all that? I would have been cheering. Xx

That's the sort of thing I think about saying after I've left the room - go Coff

How would she even know if he would survive in MS? It doesn't sound like he's been given the chance yet... at least not by her.

she's a knob... Can we say that about women, even though it's anatomically incorrect?

knob is a great word

I like knob. Does that sound a bit rude?

Yes I did say it lol I think I just got to the shit or bust stage. Again if I was on my own I think I would have just welled up.

She even tried to turn it by commenting on how hard all her staff have tried and ranted on about all the hardships to make me look ungrateful before the LAs eyes so I flung politely back that the staff are wonderful and it isnt the staff that are ignoring his issues, that I am stating the school is refusing to meet his needs and as she is boss and in charge I guess it is her that has failed my ds.

I do have a governor complaint pending about the illegal exclusion for him not being able to write. I do have acknowlegement of receipt. I have never gone down this route so I dont know the waiting times as I have requested a face to face.

It hit dad a bit and he said the horrible thing is that other parents are not going to know when they take their kids into that school just how rubbish they are. He said as soon as DS is out of there hit ofstead about it. He is a bit like me I cant bare to think that DS isnt the only one :(

Knob thats polite compared to what I have ranted in poor DH ear lol!

Well, I'm proud of you. I'd call that a very satisfying meeting. Just start crossing off the days until July.

SS wise. This was my very first question when I received dx as I was and am prepared to find a good SS if that was what would help DS I really dont care which school as long as my son is happy. But the proffs said it would be detremental to him as he is busting to learn, mathmatics he loves and it should be nurtured and said he will survive in MS with FULL support or a MS with a unit attached. They said he doesnt need meds and that it is ignorance that is making him so upset.

I kind of believe them because the ignorance has way beyond pissed me off...

You did a fantastic job in that meeting! Wish I had some of your oomph! At moment.

I do realise just how hard you and your DS have had it through your posts, you deserve a big glass of . Your dad sounds great too :)

My Dad is the best in the world he did speak and repeat more or less what I said towards the end.

I almost felt sorry for them (minor blip) as he did his.............talking telling off thing.

We were never smacked or yelled at. My dad has this uncanny calm quiet voice that makes you squirm and bring terror tremors to your bones as kids lol