Well the meeting yesterday was fun

[coff33pot]

excuse that they couldnt get hold of anyone to confirm sensory course. Insisting that OT provide report first before they do which OT wont as they wont do any of it till they go on course. Stops OT from doing block sessions. Lying again saying they never got salt report despite salt in the room and me photocopying it and giving it to them on last appt (it was good to shoot them down in that respect) ASD team was supposed to be contacted 5 weeks ago as agreed in last meet.........NOPE not done so at least LA advised them it must be done.

Another EP now assessing ffs already had two why is another going to make any bloody difference and yet another meeting with this one which is a totally pointless excercise as either a) she will see the same issues and give the same advice everyone has ignored or b) she has sprung out of woodwork to see things of a totally different angle to back up crap school.

Managed to get Ds on time last week due to sensory advice. used to be 9.40 shrunk mins slowly and he has now coped with 9am (after excercises have finished which stresses him out) but no they just GOT to point out the school start time isnt 9am just to try and off track the meeting and shoot me down.

Junior school were there 3 times they admitted that they made mistakes to hint that this school were making mistakes. They said why is it necessary to write now when its causing so much anxiety? They were on my side which I am grateful.

BUT what hurts the most is that the bitch from hell (HT/senco) sat accross from me and couldnt look me in the eye and came out with due to his dxs (and read them all slowly off) The school felt that he would be unable to survive in a MS school. She has promised to act on report after report over the months, promised to act on a statment, promised all this will help my son and gullible fucking stupid me changed my mind about pulling him out 14 monts ago because the dangle of a "dx makes it more helpfull to understand and help your son"

She used me to get everything defined to try and throw my son away rather than admit she has failed him and to start again. I have cracked and I cant repeat what I want to do to her right now.

She even had the ordacity to repeat it a second time in the meeting. I dont know how I havent killed this woman the urge is overwhelming. :(

oh my dad has that voice. We always knew we were in trouble when he got even quieter.......

I may have taken him to all of my own consultant appts in order that he could talk tell off the consultants if they didn't take me seriously

Coff, I don't know the logistics for you but can you make a full list of all the reasons you are taking him out of school until Jnrs, put them in writing and then spend what is left of the summer making picnics, going on outings, visiting museums and boosting his self esteem?

Coff, I don't know the logistics for you but can you make a full list of all the reasons you are taking him out of school until Jnrs, put them in writing and then spend what is left of the summer making picnics, going on outings, visiting museums and boosting his self esteem?

I am stuck between the devil and a hardplace tbh business is suffering due to neither dh or I putting in 100% I got customers I should be touting for due to putting all we had into another venture and it and its stock is sat stalemate. We are only a little place so its income is all we have. I cant move 3 feet from phone without some proff or other or school ringing and making more appointments which if they were helping ds that would be good

You start off well then have to spend hours getting all legal in letters and its eating away at us all. DH is low, he isnt complaining to me but the strain on his face is enough to say he is at cracking point.

My eldest is ill and has PTSD let alone poss gall bladder op and she of course needs her mum, the taxman hates me the vat even more lol and I am up to my eyes in accounts. My middle DD bless her heart is under SATS pressure and surviving on a 10 minute slot of "proud of you and a hug" :(

And here I am painting balloon puppets with DS waiting for oven so he can design his pizza.

I really cant HE him but I really want to. Currently hate the world and everyone in it because it is stopping me from doing so. Trying to work out if I can afford to get the Language for Thinking to do it at home at least.

I really REALLY want to smack someone in the chops. Think a dartboard with a pic of the HT may suffice?

Finally I get my docs appt on Friday. If I come out with all this hes going to think I need sectioned LOL I think I need to damp it down a bit

Hang on, de-registering him or submitting paperwork about his absences just makes HT life easier. And it might accidentally remove some future statement options or future help. having the absences and/or exclusions on file officially may help if he needs a unit at high school age.

From your posts he's actually not going in because

1. Too anxious, badly managed so feels ill
2. Getting not much education anyway
3. HT doesnt want him / school not coping etc

You don't have to give up his paper right to an education at that school
Just because in real life it's not taking place. if she did this to a disabled teacher it'd be constructive dismissal and discrimination. What'll she do, get educational welfare to take you to the magistrates court for allowing truancy? Bring it on!

HT has to decide how to record any absence, unauthorised absence, off-site and permitted educational input, sickness etc. Her problem not yours. Will look bad in her stats unless she is really creative.

Thanks Maria for lending me your level head :)

And yes those are the reasons for DS not going in.

Was just speaking to my parents about it and they said to stick it out (in ds going school) Everytime they note down difficult day dont push him the day after when he has not slept or ill. Keep alternating as an when as its better he rests anyway but it keeps things rolling with LA. Keep the EP assess at school to show you are not avoiding matters but dont fall into their game as they have a feeling (or Dad did) that they are going to make it tough for us and DS to force us out and throwing him into PE and singing the day of the meet and ignoring the la suggestions of stick to art etc has made them adamant that is what they are trying to do.

coff does your HT have an evil twin who is a HT in Devon? Your posts are ringing all kinds of bells for me and I really admire how you are coping. Would there be any mileage in asking for a LA home tutor for Ds until he goes to Juniors? I know some people have had bad experiences with them but the ones Ds had when evil head forced him out were brilliant e.g. got him reading real books independently for the first time ever (at 10). It can take a while to organise but as LA appears to be aware and sympathetic they might speed it up. Ours did for us.

I want Wets AK47.

I've sent it first class delivery, locked and loaded, Coff.

You're in the middle of a total malestrom from what you've described, surrounded by idiots and school and under hge domestic pressures at home.
I'm glad your father is supportive. I can remember going to those gawd awful meetings on my own and just being set upon by these 'professionals' like a pack of hounds.

I'm starting to think the only way forward here is to actually go back to basics. Have a good long think about what your DS actually needs and then consider if your school could deliver it. If the answer is 'No' then it's time to give up and look elsewhere.

I'd also give up trying to do anything 'via school'. So I'd make contact with ASD outreach, etc myself. School just let you down.

I wouldn't HE - it just relives them of their responsibility.

I would consider raising a formal complaint about the apathy and lack of judgement the HT has shown - either to the Governors or maybe to the Dir of Ed about the LA's handling of this. What I don't understand is her claim that with the same dxs he had a year ago he suddenly can't manage MS. If she truly believes that that the LA should be looking for laternatives to MS.
That may actually be the angle to tackle this. By a letter to the LA informing them that the HT has stated your son is incapable of accessing MS education (n front of witnesss) and you'd like the LA to odebtify a suitable alternative placement.

I does grind you down though. I used to feel positively trapped and hunted - had to throw the ansaphone away as it got to the stage that I didn't want to go home at the end of a working day as the first thing I'd hear on getting through the front door was the bleeping ansaphone demanding I call half a dozen different people who were all ignoring supporting DS.

Once I'd throw it away I felt much more in control. They then had to waste their time tracking me down instead of just leaving me messages to ring them and then buggering off. I could start to conrol the situation.... until the dozy old bat of a HT rang me at 0800 one morning (but that's another story )

'Scuse spelling 'Maelstrom'

Actually last night was really great because MN was crashing so often I was writing my posts in Word before posting -so I didn't lose half-written ones when MN crashed. Was actually able to use spell-checker before posting.

We need a spell-checker.

Very impressed with how articulate you were at that meeting - I only think of those responses after the event. Yy to wet's maria's and other's advice re escalating complaints and hopefully turning HT's incompetence to your advantage ultimately.
If you need to use the AK47 please take a video, I find a good action movie relaxing.

Thanks for advice guys :)

DS went school today but spent the whole afternoon hidden in the book corner (2ft x3ft) school were not impressed and I merely told DS what a good choice he made instead of running out of school and walked. We had tea with grandad who bless him pulled out a pile of kiddies motor skills books he must have gone and bought yesterday and pencils and after sausages and mash him and DS were engrossed. I dont know who was enjoying them more tbh :)

Mohaudin I will ask her if she has a sibling in Devon lol maybe she has one further up the line as bad luck always comes in threes Everything is snail mail down here so it would be doubtful a tutor would be set up within such a short time period seeing as we only have about 11 weeks actual school left (sounds better when you talk of weeks instead of years)

Wet....AK47 arrived safe and well. did you HAVE to put it in a violin case? the postie looked a bit suspicious.

I have taken advice on the phone and now have my old push button job there so I havent got to come in and peer in dread at the flashing 1571 button. In fact I unplugged the bloody thing for the day.

Pinkorkid I will try to do the video in suround sound for max effect.

3 good things happened today
First was chat with maudsley who were gobsmacked. I will get report end of next week and they will put a string of courses to be done in the smaller report to go to la for statement amendment.

2nd thing was had a meet with my middle dds teacher who told me she was heading towards a 5c level in her yr6 sats. She is NT but quirky and I am so proud of her the teacher said he was proud to teach her and it was so nice to spend half hour praising her and making her feel special as it has been such a tough time of things. She is having a treat to waterworld with her mate :)

3rd thing was while I was there the Junior School advised they have already booked the sensory courses and invited me along to join their teachers as soon as they have the dates confirmed. So I dont think the HTs comments about him has put them off but infact has done the exact oposite in making them determined to help him. THAT is a nice feeling right now :)

You made me LOL Coff.

Today (actually yesteray now) sounds to have been quite productuve. What a difference 24 hrs makes.

Definitely found my quality of life improved once ansaphone had bitten the dust.

Didn't realise you were in touch with the Maudsley. Nice one.

And even though turmoil rages all around your DD is doing well - good for her.

Glad some things are looking up. Well done to your DD. She must have her mother's resiliant spirit!

Ive had similar times .....always came out of meetings feeling angry sad frustrated said if i had a gun would shoot them all...and im an easy going person ...but i had enough atlast meeting i walked out....was upset ...now we have took our son out of school ......im happier now i dont have to look at them again.....or put ourselves through so much stress.................

Glad you've had some good news yesterday, Coff. you deserve it. Well done to dd. got the popcorn in, looking forward to my dvd in the post - brown paper wrapping, ok?

Congratulations to the queen of meetings! Agree with writing to HT asking if she could list her reasons for thinking DS needs SS rather than mainstream.

Sounds like he's going to be doing well in an exceptional junior school; but there's no harm in having an official 'we can't cope even with extra statement cash' in writing, as backup for the future. What if unhelpful HT later ended up as the senco in your local high school, for example. She'd probably end up denying past comments whilst still failing to meet his needs.

What if unhelpful HT later ended up as the senco in your local high school, for example.

AHHHHHHHHHH! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeese dont say such things to scare me maria!

I received the copy of the meeting we had which the LA took minutes of and it does say XXXX expressed her concerns about DS coping in mainstream (tbh I cant say she wrote good minutes because that in no way was the words she used!)

So I got that for a start however mildly put. Plus we just had a meet with the governors and awaiting outcome of that about exclusion.

Ah yes, she's more likely to end up at the LEA (the 'promote them to where they can do no harm' syndrome) and a contemporaneous email detailing her attempts at disability discrimination would be very handy indeed.

It has been done [winks]

email. Language for thinking: I bet the asd outreach or slt team will have a copy you could borrow, or could get another school to 'lend' it to someone so you can have a peek.

Got it. go in to your local library and they'll find it for you Interlibrary loan £3.70

Thank you! Will go down Tues and see them :)