Selective Mutism and Hand Flapping?

[ConcernedRelative]

Hi,

I'm a regular on mn but have namechaned for this one.

I have a relative who is 4yo (nearly 5). I have suspected selective mutism for a while as she displays most of the characteristics i.e. language fine with her parents but won't talk in social situations, avoids eye contact, etc.

During her first year at primary school this was picked up and her school wanted to refer her to a specialist as they suspected sm too. Her parents declined this the first two times it was raised but have now accepted the offer of a referral. This hasn't happened as yet but I believe she is on a waiting list.

Is hand flapping associated with sm? I ask because I saw her today and she was 'reading' a story and hand flapping a lot. I say 'reading' because she can't actually read yet but makes up her own story as she turns the pages (a lot was very mumbled but i did hear some sentences). She was doing this for almost an hour by herself...if anyone else showed any interested (eg looked at a picture on a page or asked her a question) she would look down and stop what she was doing.

She has 'hand flapped' for as long as i can remember and it isnt' just when she's excited. What stuck me today was just how odd it looked and i've never seen her do it for this long.

Any advice or information appreciated. I am worried her parents may not keep the appointment with the school referral. It's a very difficult situation for reasons I can't go into without outing myself but i could raise concerns with one of her parents if i needed to. I'm wary of sticking my oar in but don't want to not do anything if her situation may get worse through lack of attention.

It is possible to have selective mutism and also Autistic Spectrum Disoreder/Tics. This is why it would be important to have an overall assessment done as the SM could be hiding someting else.

Keyboard is a bit knackered - The SM website is down at the moment for updating but SMIRA the SM UK charity have a facebook group.

Thanks for replying wassup. I'll definitely make discreet enquiries as to whether the appointment is being kept. Will have a look at the websites you mention as well.

They can do verity it is worth having any other possibilities checked out just in case.

That's kind of what i suspected verity as in my (admittedly very limited) knowledge these type of things tend to be on a spectrum and/or have many 'symptoms' that obviously each case has a different mix of iyswim.

Sorry...have just read my post back and it's a bit garbled. Hope you get my gist though... i seem to be having trouble articulating myself on this subject.

SM can occur on its on or jointly with something/s else/other.

My DD has SM, ASD, NVLD, Receptive and expressive language delay, dyscalculia and recently got poor scores on dyspraxic assessments due to hyperflexiable joints. So very similar to yours Verity.

Thanks for sharing verity....good to hear that your dd is making progress and finding her voice with others . It must be difficult tackling all the different dx's though....i wish you and her all the best.

xpost with wassup. What is nvld?

For ease of typing I'll call my relative 'cousin'. She comes across as very young for her age even now. It's very noticeable as there is another 'cousin' exactly one year younger who seems so much more mature.

Non verbal learning difficulty - basically if you think of a child with ASD they are usually grouped as being best at visual learning, basically my daughter is poor in this area as well.

Yes extremely young Verity - was still wanting Barbie mags up unitl a few months ago when her new obssession has now turned into becoming a Dr Who expert, she is 13 very soon.

Not to mention a current and very expensive build a bear obsession.

Yes my daughter generally freezes if she can't cope in public had a thing recently about everyone having to walk on the coloured pedestrian pathway and she had to be the leader.. which led to tantrums if we didn't do so.

Exactly Verity! BAB has a lot to answer for!!

Why have they diagnosed traits rather than ASD?
With school are you in England - have you applied for a statement of SEN re secondary?