Hi,
I'm a regular on mn but have namechaned for this one.
I have a relative who is 4yo (nearly 5). I have suspected selective mutism for a while as she displays most of the characteristics i.e. language fine with her parents but won't talk in social situations, avoids eye contact, etc.
During her first year at primary school this was picked up and her school wanted to refer her to a specialist as they suspected sm too. Her parents declined this the first two times it was raised but have now accepted the offer of a referral. This hasn't happened as yet but I believe she is on a waiting list.
Is hand flapping associated with sm? I ask because I saw her today and she was 'reading' a story and hand flapping a lot. I say 'reading' because she can't actually read yet but makes up her own story as she turns the pages (a lot was very mumbled but i did hear some sentences). She was doing this for almost an hour by herself...if anyone else showed any interested (eg looked at a picture on a page or asked her a question) she would look down and stop what she was doing.
She has 'hand flapped' for as long as i can remember and it isnt' just when she's excited. What stuck me today was just how odd it looked and i've never seen her do it for this long.
Any advice or information appreciated. I am worried her parents may not keep the appointment with the school referral. It's a very difficult situation for reasons I can't go into without outing myself but i could raise concerns with one of her parents if i needed to. I'm wary of sticking my oar in but don't want to not do anything if her situation may get worse through lack of attention.