Bye bye ABA!

[StarlightDicKenzie]

DS starts his SS tomorrow. It's a very Special SS chosen SO carefully and a result of visiting probably every SS that exists in London.

It's a large-ish school with opportunities and we are splitting the family unit for a while for him to attend without delay. It was a battle to get him into this school as they have high expectations for achievement and behaviour and I know that had he not had the ABA his chances of attending now would be zero.

BUT, I'm sad to be leaving such an amazing period of our lives filled with progress and hope and frankly gutted that it couldn't have been accommodated in mainstream as it would have worked, especially for someone like ds.

The truth is though that our LA isn't ready for ds, or us or for anything that might challenge the status quo and god knows I've tried everything.

So the next chapter begins.......

Good luck tomorrow x

Good luck Star and mini Star. I've not posted on your threads before because frankly I'm not informed enough to have ever added any value but I've followed them and am in awe at how bloody hard you've fought for your DS and how you've left absolutely no stone unturned trying to find the very best setting for him. I hope mini Star thrives in his new school and that you get the outcome you want at tribunal.

All the best for tomorrow. If hard work was suitably rewarded you deserve the very best.

Good luck for tomorrow, hope ds new school is everything youve hoped and wished for. Hope your all back together soon . Hope ds has the best 1st day ever in his new school x

What messmonster said.
Is it an asc school?
Hope it helps starlet on the next leg of his journey.

Congratulations for getting your DS into the school; I hope it meets all his needs.

All the best for your son and family, tomorrow and in the future.

Congratulations, all your hard work came through!

I hope he has a fantastic time there and makes loads of progress. He's a very lucky boy to have such dedicated and determined advocates!

Just adding my good luck wishes.You've certainly worked hard enough !

Good luck. Its appalling that you are still having to fund his provision but he could not have asked for a better family to be behind him. Now its up to him. I am sure he will fly. Once you have dropped him off go and treat yourself, its the first day of the rest of your life too. Really really hope you win at tribunal and this school back you all the way. Am sure having a setting in your corner is key in a lot of tribunals and so much easier for the panel to compare two very tangible things than an idea of what provision might look like. Just do everything you can to get the school on side. Besides, ABA will always be part of your life, I have just designed a behaviour plan for my non ASD 7 and 9 year olds to encourage them to do chores! Be looking forward to hearing the next instalment.

Starlight that's the most fantastic news! Well done! Your DS is lucky to have such a great Mum!

Fingers crossed for the Tribunal - you may remember that I have been to Tribunal too, so know how nerve wrecking it is.

Looking forward to hearing how little Star gets on!

Hi all. Thanks so much for all the messages. They mean a lot.

We're installed in our temp accommodation and ds is in the bath. He's very much looking forward to tomorrow and has learned his timetable by heart. The new school won't be strange as he has been there already for a number of assessments. He starts in a kind of protective nurture unit for just half days until they think he is ready to be more integrated (and sure that the other kids are ready for him), so I won't have long to myself but that's fine. It will come.

There is still much to do tribunal-wise and I can't rest much as have had flu this past week and at 6month pg it left me pretty washed out, so lots to catch up with.

Shame we're in tribunal land really because I would LOVE to share with you all the mad antics of the LA over the past couple of weeks and some very satisfying revenge but it will have to wait .

Thanks again

Agnes "Am sure having a setting in your corner is key in a lot of tribunals"

I think you are absolutely right and I wish I'd appreciated this earlier. You think it's all about evidence - their experts against yours. Really, in most cases, unless you have the school/setting on your side too, you don't get off the ground.

The Tribunals give school evidence such weight and I suppose it is because they assume that schools will always act in the best interests of a child and that each teacher and head knows all their pupils very well and understands their needs.

It's a complete misunderstanding of the reality of life for ASD children in many schools and it fails to take into account the fact that heads are focused on league tables and will very infrequently, if ever, rock the boat on behalf of a child when the LA is dead set against alternative or increased provision. Unless of course, the child threatens the 'league tables' or the school's self-promotion by unmanageable behaviour.

I wish I had known this earlier. I would have moved schools a year or 2 ago!

Can't wait till it's over and we get the debrief! Your son is lucky to have a militant mum fighting for him; I am of the same mindset, but have not yet had to go to the lengths that you have. You're an inspiration.

Star - flu - poor you!! We've had a nasty bug here too. I hope you are feeling better.

You are an inspiration!!

Hi Star
A message to mirror the other posters ie well done for the fighting, thank you for the advice you continue to give and it must be tough feeling sad about altered expectations. Good luck to you and yours for tomorrow and strength for the changes ahead.

Hi PipinJo - I read your penultimate sentence with great interest as we are going to Tribunal for sn ind school this week. Which is the Tribubal website that you refer to ?
Star - you were v helpful to me 14 months ago immed post diagnosis and during the start of our statementing which is about to culminate this week. I am sure like me you are fairly reluctant to go into specifics (Tribunal paranoia is something else) but I am dying to know whether you plumped for the school you asked about on a January thread ?

Good luck, hope it goes well. I remember ending our fulltime home ABA program but we did continue part-time for a while once DS went to school. Then we gave up the p/t program a year or so later and eventually gave up ABA altogether when he was 12.5. I was more than ready to let it go and I do believe that, although we use the strategies daily in a natural way, if a child is still being formally ABAed into adulthood then something has gone wrong.
Good luck with the tribunal and all the change you have put in place, you are certainly committed and I admire you.

Thanks everyone.

No idea how it went. DS was chucked out at his chucking out time and seemed happy. No teachers talked to me or anything

I guess that is a good thing?

There was another boy that started today too and his parents were called in so perhaps they can only deal with one parent at a time and tbh ds has had a lot of assessments there and a lot of 'talking about him' so far so perhaps they just want to get on with it.

The playground was an interesting place. I didn't really speak to anyone but the body language was inclusive and I was 'involved' in the discussions even if not taking part. The language was all 'working document this' and 'submission deadline that' and 'statutory assessment the other'. - Blimey.

Good luck star and ministar x

Well I would take it as a good sign that you were not called in. I am sure they would have if it hadnt gone to well :)

AND he was happy? good sign!