Misery thread - for miserable indulgence.....

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I'm in a cafe forecourt far from home, just got into trouble by the security guard for stealing the electricity for my phone.

DS has another assessment for a school which just cannot make up it's mind. We had to set off last night which meant a b&b. DS' routine is disrupted, he has a cold. He is tired. I'm tired. 16 schools in 3 weeks to fulfil tribunal deadlines. Most have rejected us. Some for needs based reasons, most ms types for funding reasons (he carries a high resource statement with the potential of an ABA tribunal win).

The ASD schools don't have appropriate peers, ABA has been too damn good too quickly. The SALT schools are wary of his ASD.

He's being assessed by a SALT SS I'd like to accept him. If they don't I'll cry in despair. If they do I'll cry in despair at having to relocate to a LA closer to it within 2 weeks taking into account the likely school that dd will end up in, not to mention the commute for DH.

The assessment today means my attendance rate at a course I have been on for two years will not be enough to pass. It is no good begging for special circumstances as they have already been lenient and a baby in June means I can promise nothing.

I am so very very tired and miserable........

Only on the sen boards could we take seriously the notion of "scheduling a breakdown".

Here's a tune to go with that glass of wine

I love y'all

Lol Boch and have so many 'friends' plan it for you!

Sorry Wet. Thought it was you but had a moment of panic.

Thanks everyone, for your support. So much to figure out but have at last arrived at base camp.

It's a SS Pipin. I also have to come to terms with that. It is non-ABA too which is also difficult. Not a disaster as school only agreed to accept him on the premise that we help them with the ASDness. It isn't an ASD school.

But ABA will not be effective for ds in a hostile environment which it would always be in ms where we are.

Aloe ds has some significant SALT issues that were hidden by his unreachableness, that became reachable BECAUSE of ABA.

Even though it is good news I still worry if I am lowering my expectations further than his capabilities.

Star - this does not mean he has to be in a SS school for ever.

He's still so young. Every reason to believe at some point he'll transfer to MS.

That is why you've chosen a SS. Because you want him to catch up - not just be babysat.

A lot of kids transfer from SALT units to MS when moving to the infants in Y3.

Thanks Indigo. Perhaps he'll move or maybe not. I think for all of us the MS oprion long term is a scary one in the current climate.

Also, there just isn't the expertise in ABA beyond infants and certain not if complex language disorder is an issue. I mean the methods will always work but someone has to know what you use those methods to deliver iyswim, and as you know ABA trained SALTs who are willing and cheap enough to deliver 1:1 is unlikely.

You sound amazing to me star . You have to just keep going, is all.

YESSSSS!!!!

so pleased for you and ministar

xxxx

Pipin It is my hope that if and when he transfers to MS he won't need ABA any longer iyswim.

The MS school with ABA HT is a big risk in many ways and will have us at tribunal every AR. There are concerns I have about this HT and her likeliness of using her ABA knowledge to argue against it at tribunal. She is a very VERY young HT who I am making assumptions about having got where she has from using her ABA knowledge to systematcally progress efficiently keeping the LA sweet.

I agree that a communication base in a ms would be a good choice in theory, but all the ones I've seen weren't shit and really had no understanding of ASD, nor would they agree to admit ds. DS' last nursery was in a school with a language unit, and his SALT was delivered directly from there. He made no progress.

I'll PM you the school Pipin.

Glad you went for the Pepper pig and glass of wine option. Hope you are feeling a bit better. One step at a time, it is the only way to tackle these things.

Well done you.

No school is guaranteed to perfectly meet a dc's changing needs forever. Best choice for now is all you need. Plus the school may have more hfa experience than they think: I personally think many 'complex slt' kids are at least on the fringes of the spectrum, and some are just plain missed diagnoses.

Star - good luck with the school and all the life changes that go with it. You are truly inspirational in the lengths you will go to for your ds.

Remember that you and your dh matter too. This move has to work for the family _ but I have the feeling you have the str
ength to make it work anyway.

Thanks again everyone for holding my hand. I've been plugged into the Internet for the last couple of days and found a promising area to live in.

Now got to find a rental property, not to mention some midwives.....

Still waiting for the offer letter though. Bit scared they'll change their minds.

Fingers crossed, Star.

Received the offer letter - yay!

Sooooo tired though. Announced school to tribunal now being flooded for requests for assessments/observations etc by LA personnel - grrrrrr!

yay! sounds promising, if exhausting

Right now you've sorted the school sing Tom Petty's "No I won't back down" at every available opportunity (the "good luck" charm that worked for my Tribunal).

You only need to permit 2 LA personnel assessments - deffo the ed pysch and optionally the SALT(if it suits your case). After that it's no longer in the child's best interests to be "swarmed over by the borg" & you can politely refuse.

A tip from my own experience - if an aspect of the LEA's OWN assessment meets your needs then DO highlight it to the tribunal as it makes you look balanced and fair and the dark side are shown up in their bias. If they are anything like my lea then their attitude to independent reports will be to pooh, pooh them. Make it look as if the independent reports merely build on their OWN info to reach a conclusion they would have done if they'd had the time with their "huge caseloads!

e.g I used DS's 5%C receptive understanding score & his 95%C visual score to show that staff well versed in visual teaching styles already cos of the deaf unit made it the right school, and easy for them to make the specifc adaptations to suit DS
.
Your case is totally different but the principle of using their own crap against em still stands ; ) It's totally word twisting what they say, but they do it - select just a couple of "hard facts" from their reports then milk em to suit your argument for all it's worth. Make them leave the hearing feeling a little dumb and patronised.

I'm not letting em in at all because we're gonna be fighting with a different LA entirely. The last thing we need is TWO LA EP reports