Ds shows autistic tendencies only at home

[Ouluckyduck]

which means health professionals smile benignly when I talk about them and recommend a parenting course. Is it really just my crap oarenting or does this happen?

It's very, very common. Honestly. Many of the DCs on this board can hold it together at school, only to lose it at home. It's a kind of backhanded complement - home is where it's safe to let it go.

Are you getting the run around from school / HCPS? Post again if you need some more specific advice...

Not sure what you mean by the run around? I just want them to see that there are issues, but because they don't cause a problem in school (yet?) they're not interested.

1. He probably may have traits at school but school don't recognise them. They think almost all behaviour (besides throwing chairs) is normal :)

1. I had this problem with DS2 and found it cheaper easier to get a private dx of dyspraxia (through an OT) rather than a dx of ASD. I know what symptoms he has, but have found a 'label' of dyspraxia enough to get the help I wanted from school.

1. They always start by recommending a parenting course. It is no reflection of you. There's a very funny story on here where they recommended one of the posters goes on a parenting course - thing is she normally runs them!

OP: My ds1 is like this (although school have seen some traits but wont admit it means anything)

Its v v frustrating We are seeing someone privately atm to help ds1 (google Tinsley House if you are interested) and it was the first time that he demonstrated traits in an appt with a professional...well, perhaps its more correct to say that the professional was very clued up and saw what others had dismissed??

Not sure if you were referring to me but yep recommended I go on a parenting course BUT I run them as my job, right now I'm running one for parents of kids with SN.
I had same trouble with dd1, do I started a daily diary and also took some stuff on girls with Asd to the teacher. A specialist salt came and spent time with her in school and could see it clearly. They also sent in a tick sheet. Dd1 now is alot worse in school but because she has a dx they do what they can to help.
Dd2 dx was easier as she doesn't hold it together so well at school and does the hand flapping, toe walking and spinning anywhere. She also yells at the teachers and on Friday tipped water over a boy who got her shoe wet she got her working dx at 2 and full dx at 3.

I feel the same sometimes leonie

It took a move of school to get Dd3's issues noticed.

The old school denied any problems for 3 years and the new school spotted them in 1term.

Sadly your problem is very common on this board.

I kept a diary of Dd3's issues/behaviours, what caused them and how i dealt with them.
It was enough to keep us in the system until we got the support from school.

Dont give up.

It's so frustrating I hate it when I get made to feel like I'm failing him at home.

Had a long chat with the Principle Ed Psych (2 hours) when he visited my home earlier this week. He just so happens to be the Ed Psych for my DD's school a and the guy that ok's the statutory assessment requests for our town. He said that it is more common for kids to hold it in in school and let rip at home than it is for there to be probs in school. My DD's school never had any concerns. 6 months at comp and she fell apart. 12 months at comp and under Ed Psych and on verge of applying for a statement! She doesn't have a diagnosis yet.

DS1 is dx dyspraxia and OT dx of hypermobility and SPD. School accept the dx, and do put in place as many strategies as they can, but have said that apart from the obvious motor skills issues with writing, they do not recognise the child in the report as the child they see at school.
He did have a paediatricians appt. recently where he displayed some of the worst elements of his sensory seeking behaviour that he normally reserves for home. Its only taken 6 years of appts. for him to feel that comfortable
Usually we get the report with 'little evil was helpful and enthusiastic/compliant' in the first few lines. It'll be interesting to see this one, as he spent a lot of the time rocking with his fist in his mouth and his head brushing the floor.
I'm very much of the opinion that what is offered as far as dx and services depends on their current commitments - both in the medical sense and the educational sense. Otherwise, they choose not to see the severity.

good luck Imogen...have you got someone going in with you?

DS's school when I told them he was dx'ed with AS did ask if I had it done by private quack or above board NHS dx . They could see he was a 'sensitive' child but missed any ASD traits he had.
The autism team walked into school and within 1/2 an hour said it was blatantly obvious he had AS, the school just didn't know what they were looking for. Because he tends to be well behaved (aka follows school rules to the letter) they didn't think he could have AS. They missed his complete lack of eye contact, his literal understanding of speech (because he has a good vocab never realised he often misinterpreted what they said), because he had learnt that he should laugh when other people laugh because someone must have said a joke they didn't realise he had no idea at all why said joke was funny, he hid under desks if something new or out of the ordinary happened as 'he was sensitive', they missed his complete lack of knowing how to interact differently with different people e.g. 'being silly with the headteacher' in the same way he would with his friends. etc etc.
In my experience an autistic child can't actually hide their autism in school (they may be able to stop a melt down and wait until safe to have it at home) but the school just doesn't know what to look for.

I agree, they may behave better but the traits are all there even at school. Just schools suck at seeing it unless they are causing trouble

Is there any way you can have someone assess him at home?

Yes do let me know

Will be thinking of you x

Yes we're having the same problem.

It's so frustrating.

I feel like I'm going insane.

I'm trying to write a diary of behaviours and attempting to video some of the stuff she does at home.still,her pre school teacher clearly thinks I'm crazy because she is SO well behaved and out going at school.

frigg Well, at least this thread shows we are not alone!

A video diary is a really good idea btw

Aww imogen what a nitemare! did the paed go back on what she said before ie asd adhd. i see you now have dx sensory processing disorder, surely this will get you the help your ds needs. where do you go from here?