Drama homework has completely broken DD2

[AtYourCervix]

she has just bagged up everything she has to do with school, uniform, bag, books, everything and put it in the bin.

she flatly refused to go on wednesday. went today but came home in a mood and now has just flipped out over the homework.

Arse. I suspect this may be worse than usual.

ring parent partnership as well

thanks. even though she's a pain in the backside just the thought of her boarding makes my blood run cold.

next Q. any ideas who, how, where to apply for statement~? should i wait for useless senco to advise () or local NAS?

my ds doesn't board...I looked at day schools
I waited and waited for the SENCO but and in the end I applied myself for the statement.
There are model letters on the IPSEA website.

ok. list of phoning

Parent partnership
school
LEA
NAS

when you say 'she doesn't go to school on Wednesday' - do you mean every wednesday, all term? and school do nothing about this?

bloody hell, that is shit.

for statementing, see the IPSEA website. they have model letters etc - essentially all you do to get the ball rolling is to write a brief letter asking the LA to undertake statutory assessment. that's it.

specialist ASD school does not necessarily mean boarding. whereabouts in the country are you? there may be an independent ASD school nearby - they are becoming more widespread.

you'll be busy tomorrow then!

thanks all. bit calmer now. but feel my new year resolution to give up wine may fail spectacularly this evening.

I don't think she's been to school on a wednesday since the beginning of October.

more googling.

resolutions are made to be broken

thanks. i do appreciate all the info and sympathy.

back later.

unsurprisingly she isn't going today.

bracing myself for a day of phonecalls and tears.

do i leave her sulking in bed or do i make her get up and do something? she is dressed but came down and started shouting and being rude and stomped back up again. I'm pretty sure she's feeling all scared and usettled and anxious but i'm not having her swearing at me.

will she go back to sleep in bed? I used to make ds get up so that his sleep routine wasn't knocked out.

oh dear she must be so upset/distressed/unsure.

Dont make her go in - I think it would make things worse.

What do you think would happen wrt to her behaviour if you turned round and said;
"You know what? If you hate it so much...dont go back. We will find you another school/HE/OU course"

Still cant understand why school/senco havent applied for SA for her.

Oh yes I can, actually.

Its all about the fecking money

ffs! Email the HT, Senco, lea officer, and education welfare officer (adress senco in note and send a copy to everyone else. (Emails gives you a written record for evidence and avoids your chld overhearing what's said and getting more upset. Useful tip I was given by another Mum for dealing with education authority).

You are available at 10 am Monday morning to discuss what provision the school are providing to educate your child. Legally they are FAILING your kid today. She is entitled to an adequate full time education, she has a diagnosis and she is not currently able to access the national currculum at the school. This is a problem they have been aware of since X date and yet you have seen no action plan for resolution?

Have you copied a model letter off the IPSEA site yet & sent it off re that statement?

I'm not trying to be harsh, this school will fob you off till the cows come home if you let em and it's time to stop.

I know it's REALLY hard when you are in crisis and sleep deprived and trying to cope with all the meltdowns etc BUT you have to make this first step or it will not get better.

Are you on benefits (wondering if you can get legal aid to let a solicitor handle it for you as you do sound exhausted)

that is exactly what I said 'You don't need to go back there, there are other ways' which sent her off in a spin.

I have just spoken to a very lovely woman at the ask/parent partnership service. She is getting their local contact to get back to me at the beginning of next week, she said to hang fire with the letters etc until i have spoken to her so she can help me get the right bits to the right people.

Interestingly enough she confirmed (in not so many words) what I said about school - brilliant if your child is NT, hard working and 'normal', crap if it isn't.

I will be jotting all this info down. as for today. sodit DD can do as she likes.

parent partnership are not always as impartial as they appear to be.

I would not hold fire on applying for SA. there is no 'make sure it gets to the right people etc' - you send a form letter to the education officer at your LA, asking for your dd to be considered for Statutory Assessment, and that is it.

it is after that that it gets a little more complicated, but the LA send put forms to everyone (you, the school, anyone else who has seen your dd - maybe OT, camhs, doctor/paed who diagnosed, ed psych etc. you can name people who you want included in this list)

but don't delay - it isn't worth it. look at the IPSEA site. it is all laid out, and honestly, the first bit can be as simple as a 2 line letter (is all I sent when I applied for dd1). do not be persuaded to ask school to apply for you - you have better rights of appeal, and crucially, will actually know whether it has been done or not.

"she said to hang fire with the letters etc until i have spoken to her so she can help me get the right bits to the right people".

What letters do they want you to hold back on?. I'd still be using IPSEA's template letter from their website and writing to your LEA asap. If you are referring to Parent Partnership here I am wondering why they've actually said this. Yet more delays help no-one really.

You and by turn your DD are both being failed here currently and you've been fobbed off over the past few years as well. I guess too DDs infants and primary school were of no real use of benefit either and let her additional needs go unmet as they are now with predicatable result. Secondary school is a tough old game at the best of times let alone when you have a child whose additional needs are not being met.

You are your child's best - and only - advocate here. Never forget that.

PP are more often than not in too close a proximity with the LEA in question so are not always impartial. You need to use such forums like this one and to seek fully independent advice from organisations like IPSEA and ACE and perhaps too the NAS re her educational needs.

which LA are you under, AYC? there is probably someone on here with working knowledge of it...

they do try all sorts of tricks, and delaying you is only the beginning. the SA process takes a minimum of 6 motnhs to complete (it took me 3 years to get a statement for dd1 - and that was a rubbish one which didn't actually say anything useful! - and she was a totally clear cut case of severe ASD, with massive language disorder, who definitely needed to be in a SN school). if you want a statement in place for the start of the next school year, you need to get the letter in asap.

agree - don't wait for PP
It's good to have met with them though as it shows that you are doing everything that you can to help dd.

...even if school aren't...

Thanks. Will do SA letter today. We're in Wiltshire.

ask any questions that come up, AYC - there are always people about on here who have been through/are going through the same stages.

this is a strategic dance, really, and you need to make the first move.

must stop being an ostrich and waiting for things to get better.