Parents with kids with dyspraxia and aspergers in school - what helps and what doesn't?

[Aloha]

Ds is starting school nursery on Monday, and school proper in September. The school is v good with special needs, I have heard, and an initial conversation with the Senco over the phone seemed promising. Also the nursery nurse I was speaking to yesterday morning seemed sympathetic. But obviously I am concerned that ds will be OK, not bullied, given appropriate help with dressing/PE etc and given good social and practical support. What do your children's schools do that really helps, and are there any areas where I will need to push? Thanks!

oh yes deffo right or wrong no greyness

hi kanga, i work with a girl with aspergers at secondary who is very intelligent like your ds. she is very impulsive and says exactly wot she thinks to total strangers, to put your mind at rest she doesnt get bullied altho she did have probs when she first started secondary due to her insecurities. i think the other kids find her quite amusing because shes very impulsive in wot she says. shes an adorable girl, now in year 11 and still bossing people about but has a big circle of friends

Thanks for that

I do worry about it

The children at primary class have been with him for 7 years so have grown up with his little weirdnesses iyswim

Had to smile at this ... sounds like my DD too! She is 9 and is very good at telling her big sis aged 14 exactly what she should do .. which doesn't go down particularly well as you can imagine.

Also she lacks tact which I think should be there by this age. Spent ages one meal time over the weekend going on about the "red thing" on sister's forehead (a spot). Wouldn't stop and quite upset big sis. Also told a friend's daughter recently she "looked like a boy" cos she'd had her hair cut short. I try to explain she should keep her opinions to herself but it's like water off a ducks back.

Aloha, everything sounds like such good news.

So: maybe this isn't necessary, but I was thinking further about the huge variety of behaviours/symptoms that each of our children is a sort of "cocktail" of, and realising that there are some which schools should (and you should expect to) take in their stride and some which are much more difficult to deal with.

For instance: the need to know exactly what is going to happen & when, which is so essential to some AS children (not sure if this is relevant to your ds, and certainly not to mine) - schools absolutely ought to be able to manage that, whether by tools like visual timetables, or simple day-by-day communication.

Similarly, physical things like needing more time, or help, to do up buttons eg; and very very importantly, making sure that the other children are understanding and accepting, are things that you should expect of the school.

On the other hand: sensory difficulties (and the freak-out response to the trigger) are more difficult, as those have to be managed as a partnership between school and child - child has to be mature enough to be able to say "this room is too noisy and I need my time-out space" (or in our case, "please can I use something other than charcoal as the noise makes me want to scream" - we are sadly not there yet and the nightmarish Art behaviour continues).