Oppositional Defiance Disorder

[nutcracker]

I would be extrmemly grateful if anyone could point me in the right direction to finding out some information on this.

I have googled but alot of the sites are american or you have to pay just to read something.

TIA

Perhaps ask her what constitutes "being good". Maybe in her own mind her sights are set too high and vague, and therefore unrealistic. If you could at least agree on a very specific target or two each week - like walking nicely hoem from school, on the pavement and without disrupting or attacking the others, she may start to realise that she can do it. Also if she has had to try so hard to be good all day she may have lots of energy and frustration pent up. Maybe she needs to feel able to relax a bit more at school so that that pressure is less when she comes home.

Good point, had never thought that she may be trying so hard to be good at school that she just explodes then when she comes out.

I will tyr and have another chat with her tonight, but am working, so may have to do it in the morning.

Nutcracker,

They sound exactly the same, chloe never stops!!!
She is very annoying all the time and when you ask her to stop, she carries on but at a worser rate!!!

I cant seem to do anything with her and am on the verge of giving up.
I have tried everything but nothing works!!!

I have attented the social services parenting class and they couldnt fault the way of which i deal with her, so they said nothing more i can physically or mentally do.

She sees a lady from senco once a week of whom has said to me that she can see why i would have problems with her as she said that she is determined and very fiesty and when she asked chloe why she is naughty and violent she relpied "i don't know why, i want to be good"

She can be remorseful when she sees me really upset but then after about a minute the remorse has gone and she's back to her uncontrolable self again!!!

I dont know why she is like the way she is, i have been having problems with her for over 3 years now and first reported my worries over 2 years ago, the thing is that no one seems to listen and just make me feel like a bad parent!!!

Butty.xxx

Oh snap butty. I have had problems with chloe from the word go. At 14mths she was only sleeping 2 hours a night and I was like a zombie. She would scream and cry all day and night.
My doctor offered me vitamins and mentioned reffering chloe to a psych, which he never actually did.
When I had Ds, chloe was 3 and I mentioned her behaviour to my H.V. She put it down to the new baby and so that was that.
When she was about 3.6 I again mentioned it to another H.V as I was having trouble contontrolling her in the street as she would run into the road. They suggested a hearing test and speech evaluation, and because she passed they then weren't interested.

She has had two appointments with a psych. She was reffered because of a problem with obsessional handwashing/germs. I mentioned her behaviour there too, and was fobbed off, the psych said that I needed to. be firmer with her.
Her handwashing problem has improved alot, although generally rears it's head when her behaviour is at it's worst too.
At the second appointment the psych said she would discharge her as she felt I was helping her control the handwashing well.
I again mentoined her behaviour and told her a bit about it and she said that seing as chloe was good at school, it must be a prob with my parenting and so I am due to do a parenting course in feb.

I know I do need help with stragies and so I want to do the course, but I can't help thinking that it can't just be me. I have an elder dd that is perfectly fine and I use the same parenting techniques with her.

I feel exactly the same way, i have done the parenting course and all of what they told me was what i have already been doing for the past 3 years!!!
I found it a bit demeaning although the SS workers did say that they could see how hard i try with her and yet get absolutely no where with her.
I still have to use hand reighns with chloe when we go out as she runs away from me all the time and also has no road sense at all although it has been drummed into her from 18 months old.!!!
No one in my family can cope with her and even my mother has said that i need to find someone else to have chloe after school on a monday when i work all day as she cannot handle her.

When people come round to the house or ring me up they are totally gobsmacked with her attitude and behaviour, when they try and talk to her, she tells them to shut up and go away in an unruley and agressive manner!!!

She is also very hyperactive and i am currently having loads of probs with her at night time as she seems to wake up for the fun of it, mess around in her room then get up at the crack of dawn!!!!!!!!!!!

If nothing isn't said or done by the doc this time they are going to have one very angry mother on their case as i am fed up with being fobbed off.

There have been different people to see chloe ranging from senco to the SS behaviour therepy team who have all said that she has concerning problems, but because she is good at school the doc thinks she is fine!!!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

I seriously considered using reins on chloe again the other day when she sat in the middle of the road and refused to move.

Our chloe's sounds so simliar it is spooky.

I hope you start to get some answers and some help with chloe soon. I know how draining it is, i feel totally worn out just at the thought of another battle with her.

I am going to start keeping the diary, start her on fish oils and speak to her teacher. If the behaviour continues (if LOL), then I am going to go in armed with my diary and see what I can get done.

xxx

Also is it worth noting what she eats and drinks, just in case a pattern emerges.

Yep my friend has just suggested that too LIZ, so will certainly make a note of that. Think i will need all the info I can get to convince anyone else that there is a prob, so the more info the better.

Hi Nutcracker,

I have been there and done that.

She has been on omega 3 since october 2003 and i have been keeping a diary for the past year of which i showed to the pead who i feel totally dismissed anything in it!!!!

The sad thing really is that in this day and age, you get children that are just naughty due to parents not controlling them or not giving proper boundaries so they do it everywhere including school to get attention and noticed, these children usually get labelled with ADHD or something because no one is giving them guidelines, and then you get children like the 2 chloe's whose parents have tried everything and are just dismissed!!!!!
I just dont get the system!!!!
i hope your pead is more concertive than chloes.

butty.xxx