school treating as autistic with no dx yet

[2littlledarlings]

hi i have not posted on here before just read of others experiences.
im posting today as im so frustrated ds1 has always been harder work than your average boy was a bad sleeper from day 1 and has never had attention or been able to sit still and generally "naughty"
Typically before i had him i used to think children like him were poss bad parented and i also thought adhd and like disorders were over dx i now feel so bad as i have proof that you can treat 2 kids the same and my other one has no issues at all.
i approached school in jul before he started in sep and they were positive and treated me like i was over worrying,putting in place for him to start 1 hour building up,i picked him up first day and the school had struggled!
on his 4th day they asked for ed phys to be bought in and from then they are treating him diff as autistic,i know there are issues but adhd he ticks every box but very few for autism. the school are letting him have his own area and his 121 is great but school are advising her on how to treat him.
worst is that we approched hv,gp, all unhelpful then eventually had pead refereal and child pysh all involved before school was even started and now its like no-one cares what i say.sorry its long lo i just want to know if anyone else had sim experiences with school?

hi
when he started he was settling in good gradually but since his 121 has started he has his own space outside the class and his allowed out when he likes as he pushes boundrys he knows that by not behaving he willget taken to his place nad there he can play alone and with things he likes, he has never mixed well with same age and likes playing alone but can copes well when we take him to a palyarea or park but school think he cant cope with noise/busy class but he has always loved chaos! im scared if i protest i will get labelled as difficult/in denial!

there are overlaps in adhd and autism. Your school seem on the ball to me? A lot of children and parents wait a LONG time for EP to visit. I expect they are going through the motions and put him on SA+ with a view to a statement if necessary? It all sounds good what is it you think they are missing or not doing? :)

sorry cross posted :)

DS makes nosie and charges around alongside others quite happy but at a distance. BUT since starting school he cannot cope with too many kids his same age around him as he cant communicate well and they dont understand him. This causes frustration when it didnt before he went to school. So he has play more structured and on his own if necessary. School is more enclosed and more in your face for someone who doesnt want to interact with same age children. So they could be looking at it this way :)

That said if you are not happy witht he stratagies and think they are not for your ds then it is best to meet up and let your concerns be known so that you can sort it out and share your ideas and experience. Much better than getting upset in the sidelines so to speak as that builds up inside you and only upsets :)

the senco suggested special school but if i thougt this was the way forward id push for it, she even backtracked and said socially which is where main issues are it would drag him back/not help.
he can deal with new things but the school seem relectuant to try for ages for example i knew he would cope at lunch however they were panicky so i stayed quiet and when he did stay he coped fine, you just dont want to seem like you are awkward/trying to off load them for a longer day at school but i believe we know our child best and know what works

what do you believe are the "boxes" for autism that he isn't ticking?

it's just people have a lot of misconceptions about what ASD IS

coffpot just saw your last post and i agree completley i just feel frustrated and its like everyone at the school knows whats going on and noone tells me ipick up on things, senco even called our pead and told her she had to come to a meeting with us all, pead told me she is very pushy with her so and child pysh said schools get overwealmed.
have a meeting with school on monday, dreading it!

when i have looked at symtoms been looking at BOTH open minded he MATCHES ADHD on a whole

ok, just wondered..as my DD has ASD and she is very different to the generally held idea of what it is, she also has traits of ADHD.

he is under a social commuication team and is due for a ados in dec, its a long process but i guess as long as the correct dx is made thats the main thing

thats the thing the symptoms are so overlapping and similar

how old is your dd and is she is mainstram sch? also what are her traits if you dont mind me asking?

yes, definitely, so the school can use the correct approach. I know the DX process is horrible though

no my DD is at special school...she is 5..

Her main traits are that she does have a big problem with joint attention and alsocan't speak. But, she is not routine driven, rarely gets upset by much and is super placid, affectionate and fairly interactive.

She has no attention span though and is just constantly flitting from thing to thing.

my ds is also 5
he cant sit still,he nevers shuts up but as he is always so hyper he sometimes doesnt make sense,figits lots,loves to run and climb outside but no real interaction with other kids prefers adults.
he also gets real into one thing and likes to do that/have that a lot of the time.
sleep is poor,now on melatonin.
speech and lang have suggested using pics to get him to ask for toilet etc which we are doing but he seems bored of them already!

Try and look at it this way.

His school days could have started two ways

First way (which my son got) he was thrown in deep end with no paddle. Told repeatedly his behaviour was bad so behaviour therapist came in and he had punishments lined up for things he really couldnt help with. Thrown in playground and told to get on with it and then excluded at 4yrs old for running from playground to school cupboard and barricaded himself in, throwing a child chair at the 3 teachers homing in on him.

Second way....school picks up on signals and do the right thing in advising the parent that something is up and knows how hard it is to get things in place becomes forcefull with peads, psychs etc to get things done and in the meantime treat my ds as if he has autism and make allowances for his behaviour and try to avoid triggers in the meantime.

I know which one I would have prefered :)

I know how frustrating it all is and the road to a dx is a tough one and I am still on it. I think the school have got your sons best interests at heart but maybe at this meeting you can arrange another with perhaps a printed list of your sons issues, what he likes, what he dislikes and how he reacts to certain things, what strategies you use at home. Ask the school if they could also take this on board. I think they will as they sound that they want to help. They just need to keep you informed and involved without them panicking and running to fast for you x

it could be ASD, noone can say until the ADOS though really.

How are you finding the melatonin? It did nothing for my DD, her sleep is shocking, was up 1230-345 last night and that isn't unusual.

yes i understand it was different tho probs my fault for how it came across i had him under pead and child phys before he even started sch and sch were ok at 1st but not taking on board what we were saying much about bad behavior and lack of attention and not being able to sit still then panicked when he did what we said he would do, bringing in EP when the child had been in sch for 6 hrs spread over 6 days when she saw him, the EP is lovely but has said ASD and i can take that on board but that is not why he cant sit still wholely and concentrate, he is very clever at lots of things for example when he was getting told off saying he needs to go to the toilet which he nevers asks for when he does need it and school are not picking up on this sort of thing at all or when we say it

my DD's ASD makes her unable to sit still and concentrate.....as she is just always distracted and seeking sensory input, it's quite common.

But I am not DXing your DS...it is important they make the right DX so they can use the right approach though.

fanjo-ok it helps him switch of but he can still wake up it has helped us a bit though, we had a night last week where he was knackered and had been since sch and went asleep quite early for him and 2 hrs later woke up at 10 and was awake til gone 2 really hyper and giggly, sim he next night but no so bad.
when i say hyper he was HYPER! he eats well and i watch what he has and im 99% its not diet
we had to really ask for it of pead and you feel bad like you are wanting to drug them even tho pead says he is very bad sleeper, one night we tried settling him from 730 and he went asleep at midnight, he woke up at 4 running around like he has slept for hrs, i could have cried, at that point i knew something was not right

we actually found the melatonin made my DD a lot MORE hyper, for some reason.

also, the Ed Psych recommended special school for my DD mainly because of her short attention span so that could be it.