"You don't really work though, do you?....Not like I do"

[Mouseface]

I am my son's full-time carer, he has various Complex Special Needs and requires round-the-clock care.

So, why is it that what I do is not classed as a full-time job?

Of late, I have filled in various forms for a number of things, and have found that I have had to put 'other' when it comes to the employment section.

I'm not employed or self-employed so am I unemployed even though I am awarded Carers Allowance?

When I discussed this with one of the mothers at Stay N Play (a SureStart run scheme in the village here) she said "Yes but you don't really work though, do you? I mean not like I do having three full days a week"

I was so ed and said that actually, yes I do class myself as working full-time.

Why is it that carers are an invisible workforce?

Because it's not paid and if you're not making money you're of no value to society

It's one of the things I have found which wound me up very quickly.

Also having to explain that you are a carer for your own child is harder than having an NT child and working without trying to sound as though you are making excuses or copping out of part time/full time work.

At the risk of offending anyone who works in the public sector .......
I had a converstion with someone this morning about the proposed strike on 30th Nov over public sector pensions. I said - they should try doing my job -- I work 24 hours a day 7 days a week all for £55 and no pension!!!!

He's had enough of lego but he has got on the sofa and fell asleep so no prices for where I am going

Thanks all by the way it is appreciated

Sorry Mouse wrong thread as you were

Magna - wrong thread?

X posted xx

BigBlue - I take it you are a FTC also? That's just it isn't it, we get £55 per week to care for our own child. If we did these hours for an 'employer' we'd get much much more plus other benefits wouldn't we?

Why is it that carers like us go unrecognised? I'm not bothered about the money side of it, I'd care for my son for free, of course I would but the money helps to pay the bills. Seeing as though I am unable to work for an 'employer'.

I am also aware that I made the choice to care for him, who wouldn't? So why am I moaning?

Because I'm sick of being an 'other'.

Yep, pees me off too. When I get it I ask every so sweetly 'when did you last work an eighteen hour day?' Well, I do, every day, no weekends, holidays etc. Sometimes I do more, depending on what's happening.
Then I give a breakdown of the previous night. Usually shuts them up. Either that or you get the really patronising, oh you're such a saint, in which case they get called an onanist!

I think it's a toxic mixture of the undervaluation of unpaid work and special mommies for special babies line of thought.

Yes, the such a Saint comment. Always a winner.

You're right TPODTC - my mother told me when Nemo (DS's nickname for those who haven't heard me talking about him before) was born that he was 'sent' to us because if anyone could handle his needs, it's me. One of her closest friends came out with that little gem.

And the 'Only some people can cope with things like this' comments.

WTAF?

Thanks zzzzz. That is oh so true!

expecially when there is a high wind

Coff33 - stop it, I'm trying to do my CRB so I can go into nursery with Nemo - you lot are making me

get the last laugh though when their top lip gets stuck in their hair slide muahahahahahaa!

Hope you pass!!!

Carers get a crap deal tbh. DS is autistic and believe me I recognise "carer" as an occupation and I record it under "Employment" if the need arises. I do the same at work (HV) when a form asks a parent's occupation - have no hesitation in stating "Carer".
We are a non-species in society - not in work yet not out of work. Tis crap.

Well said Dilly

Things like applying for credit are affected too aren't they? Like when you are self employed..... things are harder to get.

I'm just hormental and today has been one of those days when I have had enough of not being recognised as having a role in this world unless there is an 'other' box!

Its because unless you do work you are paid for society does not value it

Well, judging from a current AIBU thread, we're all benefit scrounging scum who are not entitled to have kids and live off the state. Despite the fact that we save the government millions per annum.

Must be a very high wind in AIBU then

I dont venture into that part of MN my bloodpressure cant take it. Only go if someone here needs back up then back again.

I think we all feel that way about her, imogen