"You don't really work though, do you?....Not like I do"

[Mouseface]

I am my son's full-time carer, he has various Complex Special Needs and requires round-the-clock care.

So, why is it that what I do is not classed as a full-time job?

Of late, I have filled in various forms for a number of things, and have found that I have had to put 'other' when it comes to the employment section.

I'm not employed or self-employed so am I unemployed even though I am awarded Carers Allowance?

When I discussed this with one of the mothers at Stay N Play (a SureStart run scheme in the village here) she said "Yes but you don't really work though, do you? I mean not like I do having three full days a week"

I was so ed and said that actually, yes I do class myself as working full-time.

Why is it that carers are an invisible workforce?

Ooo yes, time to open the bottle

you silly lot lol!

who said wine??
No I would build the barbwire fence up higher on AIBU. Get enough of that in RL mind you its easier in RL you can tell them to..................you know a hell of a lot quicker than the cross posting hassle over...........THERE.

Mouse did you get your CRB done after all? Is it to help out or just to actually stay in the nursery :)

Coff33 - I'm on the committee for the Nursery but also so that if one of the other children ask, I can take them to the loo etc. Quite often Nemo will go off and play on his own, in his own little world and then BAM! I get inundated with story requests from the children!

They have all accepted him as one of them, a few questions to start about why he has an NG but other than that, they all want to look after him! Being the smallest sometimes has it's advantages.

I'd rather be fully checked to be fair so that the parents are all happy with me being there too.

Not that a CRB means shit does it? Doesn't pick up a 'potential' abuser oh Jeff, please drag me away from myself.

You guys are ace. Thank you for all of your posts today xx

Oh...AND..... DRUM ROLL PLEASE........ Nemo has been awarded Portage after being on the waiting list for a year! We meet his worker next week

AND............ he has had his respite increased to four hours a week from three which I know isn't a lot but it's an absolute Jeffsend to me

Erm, that's all my news

Hi Mouse

We've met before :)

I just wanted to say that I am in agreement that caring for somebody with special needs Should be classed as an occupation, pay doesn't come into it. I am lucky in that DS with a lot (and I mean a lot) of support is able to attend nursery so I go off to work 3 days a week. I have a middle management role, one I used to find quite stressful, now I consider time in the office to be my down time (not that I tell them that!). I keep being told to get signed off work for the rest, but it is my rest time! If I didn't work, DS wouldn't go to nursery and I doubt I could cope looking after him full time. I'm majorly struggling as it is.

What You're doing is far more involving than that most full time workers endure. x

Excellent news for your DS! Glad its all moving on :)

Hey NinkyNonk

I am in awe of you! Working three full days a week and then coming home to care for a DS with additional needs must tire you out just as much, if not more so than it does me!

I keep thinking of how much I'd like to go to work but I have my own disabilities to face. I have Degenerative Disc Disease, Herniated Discs and Facet Joint Syndrome. I'm on high levels of morphine, being steadily increased to get me through the day, along with various other medication. I can't remain in the same position for more than 20 mins......

I can't walk far unaided but I'm hoping (on a never ending waiting list) that I'll be able to get better treatment at some point so I can move further and better. Especially as Nemo can now walk outside. Holding hands of course!

I should imagine that your DS loves his time in nursery but also his time with you. I imagine that you working gives you both a break? I know that sometimes, even five minutes whilst he sleeps is just enough for me to have some head space but I can honestly say that spending time with DS, being fortunate enough to be the one who cares for him day in, day out, to learn all about him and his needs, to learn all about the procedure he faces is so rewarding, if not exhausting!

Thanks Coff33 xx

Hey Mouse

Nemo is very lucky to have such a strong mother - it must be so hard trying to cope with his needs as well as your own disabilities. Especially if you're like me and have some days where you feel worse than others (and mine's just emotional and tiredness).

I wish I was as positive as you about caring for my DS - I certainly feel nursery gives me a break and DS benefits because they have the energy that I don't to encourage creative/messy play etc.

I hope you get the treatment that will help you soon, you'll need it with Nemo on the move in the big wide world! I can't keep up with DS as he cruises round and round the coffee table at top speed - I have to set up some sort of toy decoy so I can catch him as he whizzes by!

at toy decoy Ninky!!

Distraction is the ONLY thing that works with Nemo!

You sounded a bit, well, down about not always having the energy to do messy and creative play. I really would beat yourself up about it, Nemo does colouring with chunky wax crayons but that's as far as it goes here.

It's hard enough to keep the house clean without Picasso having a go at decorating the walls! The very fact that you do play with him, and interact, is all he needs from you, there's plenty of time (and other people) for mess later on!

And let's not forget the joy that is CBeebies!

When Nemo was at nursery last week, he found the 'painting area'. You know when you just know by looking at their face what's going through their little innocent minds?

Yep - 'I want to paint with my jumper sleeves'!!

Luckily, I got to him in time and managed to get an apron on him

I'm sure that in an ideal world, we'd have a day full of amazingly, wonderfully, fandabbydozzy, super-duper activities lined up to do but let's face it, we're only one woman aren't we?!!

You're doing great Ninky - it's more than obvious just how much you care about your DS, it shows in your posts, what you write. Cut yourself some slack lovely xx

fandabbydozzy????? SOMEONE used to watch crackerjack lol

ooooh I could rip a tissue!

I think my mother had a thing about Stu!

I KNOW my mother had a thing about Stu