Friday night thread - where are you?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I only allow myself wine when you appear and I NEED wine............

Hi all-Sorry for those whose week has not been good.

All a bit tired here after first full week back- Thank goodness it's Friday !!

School seems to be going o.k ......and DS started cubs (with a carer) He had a good time,though don't know if he'll ever understand what it's all about...The other kids seem to have been good with him.

On the cold fosters this evening (and there's chocolate in the fridge)

Oh and BEN10- hope you have a speedy recovery

Evening all What a mixture of weeks everyone has had! Really sorry Indigo with regards to dd. Star the kids asleep on a pile of duvets give me such a cute picture!

Moosemama...you have a friendly bank manager? I want one!

Just put DS bedroom together again after a mahoosive meltdown this afternoon. Thankfully he is calm now lining up all the socks from the tumble dryer for me and laughing as the dog is running away with the odd one or two

Mixed up week full of meetings, disagreements and chasing our tails but then that seems to be life as we know it for the present. Looking forward to a good march on the Beach tomorrow with DS & DD to blow those cobwebs away!

Do you know what?

I'm just going to crawl into bed and not come out EVER again!

Didn't get a job I applied for, can't apply for one I'm interested in due to lack of suitable referees, and the person who got the job I went for is omne of those people, who everything they touch turns to gold and they get everything they want...

Everything I touch turns to Skittles, quite a cool effect but not really useful in the long run...

Anyway, I'm trying to remember "everything happens for a reason" and HOPING against hope that it means that something good will EVENTUALLY happen!

And recounting, in my head, the funny conversation I heard between a mum and her DD whilst in the loo at my local shopping centre, before I headed in for work...

I'll have to read here and there as the evening progresses.

Mr "I'm going to piss and moan and bitch at my wife" is trying to figure out his new phone. He refuses any assistance, then shouts about not being able to sort it, then bitches at me because I haven't offered assistance. Going to hard to use it when I put it where I'd REALLY like to see it right now.

He really is making the idea of being a single parent more and more attractive.

ben10, hope you have a speedy recovery.

I have gin for anyone who fancies sharing

Whoops! My button is actually morphine and not paracetemol . no wonder I am chilled out

ben10 - hope you are feeling better soon!

Ben10....Mumsnett and doilies? what more could a woman want

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Dunno about anyone else, but if I was getting tea, mumsnet, and doilies... I might have a fairly leisurely recovery - I certainly wouldn't be rushing it! "ooooh maybe I better stay one more day until I'm feeling 100% eh?"

Sorry Lollipop and Triggles.

A bit of a rubbish/stressful week for all then, even Ben 10 who just thinks the world is rosy due to the morphine , but who has actually had surgery

Maybe we should all get morphine buttons. - or perhaps we could all vist Ben and have a go!?

LOL - Ben10 where ya at? We wanna visit!!!

Hello everyone. Im still reading through all the posts so will post again later.

This week was interesting. Lots of good things, lots of bad things.

Had our CAF meeting today. Preschool turned up all cocky saying ds was fine. I played everyone a lovely video on my phone of how upset DS gets in the mornings when we tell him he is going to preschool. I think even preschool felt sorry for him. Anyway it went well, everyone got more of a picture of how much we are struggling. Someone seemed to think there is a new pot of money for preventative direct payments which they are going to try and get for us. I wont hold my breath.

Came home to a very confusing letter from private shrink who previously said DS is on autistic spectrum who says that when I played with DS during the most recent meeting it didnt go well and he now thinks attachment theory might be part of it. (DS and I dont seem to have much imagination) Letter is very badly worded as he isnt english but DH and I are very very confused as he repeatedly told us during the meeting that he could see we were good parents and why were we blaming ourselves. Confused. Very. He also said there is no evidence we are following the things he told us to do despite me giving him a five page diary of what we had been doing and what happened.

Coff33 - she was lovely- she has a teenage son who has ASD, so it helped that she understood the stresses we're under on a regular basis. She also had some great insight into the secondary schools in our town and told me her ds has been really happy and well supported at one we wouldn't otherwise have considered.

Ben10 - glad you've had the op - hope you have a quick and easy recovery.

Lollipop - sorry you didn't get the job. Try not to take it to much to heart - as you said, there could be something better just around the corner and other things seem to be going really well for you, so that's something to keep hold of. Have a ((hug)) anyway though.

Well, I spoke too soon about ds1 and school. He told us during tea that the p/t teacher he has for Maths on the last two days of the week, shouted at him and accused him of deliberately opting out of marking his test paper, proceeded to list the names of all the top achievers in the set, said its not fair on them that he just opts in and out of work as he pleases and said she would move him down to the bottom set if he 'chooses' not to work hard enough in her lesson!

I am livid, not least of all because his class teacher, the other maths teacher and I have been talking this week about how he suffers from low confidence with maths and ends up freezing and not getting started quick enough as a result. We had the same problem with his last year, he doesn't believe he's good enoughto be in top set, despite getting high results on pretty much all his test papers. He spent an evening and morning crying about this very subject this week and the other maths teacher told me that she was pleased that he actually approached her with his worries about it one day this week, but was really concerned at how upset he was when he did.

There have been conversations as well as notes back and forth about this this week and the other maths teacher - who incidentally is the maths coordinator for the year, said achievement wise he is doing great and his ability justifies his position in class, but that we do need to work on trying to get him to up the quantity of work he produces (as if we didn't already know that).

In addition to that the school know that he was under investigation for possible absences this time last year, but it turned out that he was just zoning out through stress and that's exactly what happened today, judging from what he told me. He always gets really stressed about tests and apparently he did the test and completed it early, but the rest of his table were taking longer so he had to wait to mark it. He zoned out and when he came to they had all marked their papers and he'd missed the marking. The teacher then proceeded to bawl him out in front of the entire class and tell him he didn't deserve to be in the top set.

I am tamping mad now and so frustrated that I can't deal with it until Monday. Blooming teacher eyeballed me when I went to fetch him as well. Grrrr!

Think I will ask to see the SENCO first thing Monday morning, as this needs jumping on straight away.

Apologies for long ranty post - just needed to let it out.

I had, and continue to have attachment problems with ds. He is autistic ffs, attachment is fecking difficult with a child who has no social motivation and is so unrewarding to engage with.

I flippin try hard though, but playing with him, the same old game for the 20th time this week that he'd really rather I didn't play anyway with him makes me want to RUN.

DD is different. Her imagination and creativity is a delight. She demands cuddles and attention. Her games are funny and she squeals in delight at my ideas.

Thanks Star, that really helps a lot to hear you say that. Sometimes I really question the professionals around us (hopes Lougle not watching ) The private shrink says that DSs poo smearing is nothing to do with autism at all and is a pure act of aggression. I agree sometimes its through anger but a lot of children with autism smear poo and DS has done it plenty of times when he isnt angry. Stressful.

Hello all,
Star soo cute.
Ellen hope you are doing ok,
Moose hold onto the rage and sort it Monday,
Ben10 speedy recovery,
Indigo no wonder you are upset,
Anyone I missed sorry.
Still treading the same roundabout here papers going in for JR on grounds of irrationality and LA is silent so who knows what is happening, not me that's for sure.
Sick of it tbh but ds is happy being home so at least it's not too hard having him home 24/7. Took him to Little Chef today (one of his favourites) living the high life here

Good grief Moosemama your poor DS self esteem must be going up and down like a yo yo This teacher obviously lacks tact.

Smug...my DS is rigid on the way games are played ie. they have to be exactly as they have been viewed on the tv or played on the wii. Those are his games full stop. I try to intervene by bringing out a family game or using imaginative play but he just wont have it, gives you a hard stare and walks off into his own dreamland. Every game is a challenge in this house and I wonder what your psych would say to me when all DS prefers me to do is to sit and WATCH him play and throw a hissy fit if I suggest anything out of sync!

Coff33 - the problem was that the shrink made me get on the floor and play with DS - I got a car mat out and toy cars and did my absolute best to stretch DSs imaginations from just moving them rigidly round the car mat - but my mind obviously works like DSs and I was totally crap at the imagination side of it. How embarrassing. I thought I did quite well - then a letter arrives in the post which has also been sent to our GP saying how badly I did. OH DEAR!!!

Thanks Insanity, I will try to keep the fire burning until Monday morning.

Coff33, that's it. We've worked so hard to reassure him that he's doing fine and is very capable with Maths and now he doesn't know who to believe.

There's no way she should be humiliating a child like that in front of his peer group, whether they have SNs or not - but she should be fully informed about ds and that makes it 100 x worse.

Hopefully the SENCO and the other teachers will agree and deal with it - unfortunately she's not back in until next Thursday, so I will have to make sure it doesn't get sidelined by then.

Am calming down now, but there's no way I'm letting this one lie.

Ok-ish week here. Shitty pre Annual Review letter setting out all the additional hoops they want us to jump through which the statement never required, which we batted back with a politely worded bog off.
DS2 (7) is busy coming home telling me all the rules and regulations at school which he is worried DS3 will find too hard. Funny how a 7 year old can see the areas of school where 'reasonable adjustments' are needed when a staffroom full of adults can't. Just need to prime him to put his hand up and question their duties under DDA
DS3 visit to school failed to happen due to teacher being off ill, so going to be a rude awakening on Monday.
Bogged down with paperwork here too DLA renewal, annual review, charity stuff...
Have started pre annual review yoga to try and counteract the growing stress levels. Should be free to parents like me I think.
Smug I can't play well with my DS either. He has little interest in playing games with me and no imagination. But he is very attached to me when he wants to be - very affectionate and cuddly. So the lack of imaginative play has nothing to do with attachment. Next time tell the Dr to get down on the floor and demonstrate how he can do better!

Agnes - sending you the strength to jump through all the hoops you need to jump through.

Not everyone has a lot of imagination. I fake imagination - people think I am extremely creative because I am good at sewing and cooking - its all just following instructions. I work for the biggest accountancy firm in the world - because I am VERY good at following instructions. I did not need imagination to get that job. I cant see how he can say imply that there is a problem because I didnt have a lot of imagination when playing with toy cars.

I was very good at enabling the child led side of it - commentating on what DS was doing, letting him chose what to do but then he asked me to expand the story and try to expand DSs imagination. I floundered.

I didnt even realise it was Friday! busy week, sat at my bum sorting through boxes and boxes of paper work from the loft. Cant complain though ive had a good few months off, hence the sorting.

Enjoy your wine.