URGENT! 2nd appt with paed today...wwyd????

[Becaroooo]

Meant to post this last night but fell asleep

Got ds1's 2nd appt with the child dev paed this afternoon.

Am not happy.....after his first appt he asked the school to arrange for the spld team and EP to see ds1 (suspected dyslexia/dyspraxia, APD and asd).

The HT then rang the paed and talked to him and lo and behold now they are saying that he will only see an EP if he deteriorates further over the next academic year.

Apparently the paed "did not know how the system works" ????

Should I just give up and tell the paed to dc us? They obviously dont think ds1 is "bad enough" to warrant further investigation.

Am really angry and fed up.

wwyd?

Its not going to well.

I'm done.

I'm done fannying about round teachers and SENCOs, desperately trying not to upset anyone.

Am getting my ds1 the help he needs. If they dont like it thats really too bad.

welcome to the club becaroo Polite but firm is the way to go and get as much in writing as you can.

Have sent an e mail to the HT asking for the GARS-2 to be filled in and sent asap.

Have also contacted parent partnership and they are coming to the meeting on 3/10.

Have contacted the asd outreach team and they will not get involved unless a child has a statement...so am now wondering why I am bothering

Becaroooo........you are bothering because you are mum and you are good at it

You have asked them to fill the GARS in so personally I would bother them firstly by saying hope you got the email but wanted to add I will want a photocopy when can I pick it up? Then call into the heads office every morning till you get it in your hand

Secondly write down all the issues you feel your son has at school and what you feel should be in place to help your DS. Go through it with parent partnership beforehand and perhaps they can help reinforce some of your ideas at the meeting. Also request a home book so you can see your sons daily pattern of events. I found this to be excellent and informative info to pass on to proffesionals.

Well done you on getting a private pead this other one seems to be a prize muppet.

Phone up the EP for your area. It wont do no harm to state your concerns and that you feel you need them to assess your son because as far as you are concerned is education is declining rapidly and you want something done about it and what do they suggest.

Also get your tin hat on and tell them politley what YOU want to see happen.

Everything might not happen like yesterday but at least you will feel positive and in control of your DS future.

Becaroo, follow up in writing that the ASD outreach will not get involved without a statement. Mention that you understand that provision should be based on need, not diagnosis. Scour your Council's website for a document that says that and also quote from the National Autism Plan (you can download it).

But do get them to respond to you with their 'policy' on this in writing. Sometimes this presented to paeds can get them riled enough to stick their necks out.

Also write to the school formally, listing any professional recommendations bullet point by bullet point and ask for the details of what they are doing on each of them. You are 'daring' them to say nothing.

All of this will help with a SA and additionally with a tribunal if you ever need to go down that route and sadly tribunal is becoming the norm rather than the acception to just get adequate provision, - nothing special.

Oh yes, and second the contacting the area EP, - although again I would do this in writing rather than directly.

So you have evidence of their reply. You can include a list of what has been recommended that the school will not implement and you can say that you feel your ds needs 'educational' endorsement of the medical recommendations as the school are letting him slip through the net.

Also, go to the inclusion officer of the area and say that you feel the school is badly in need of some training/support as they are failing to recognise basic SN, even when medical opinion supports this.

In writing - all in writing.

Thanks all.

PP are phoning me next week to discuss what I want from the meeting. We were supposed to get a home-school book when he started (last nov) but it never appeared

It would be very helpful to me to have that as it would give me some idea of where/when ds1 gets anxious and is missing out in class.

Year 4 and 5 are job share...sigh. Dont have a good feeling about it

Cant get ds1 to read to me - cue upset/frustration etc

Cant get him to do his summer journal (as requested by senco) - cue more tears etc

Am so exhausted by it all.

Sorry - I know many of you have much worse issues to deal with...I always seem to whinging, dont I??

Whinge away!

Buy an excercise book yourself and take it to the meeting and physically hand it to the senco. You can also use it now to put in each home day you have attempted to do his journal with him. I use it for both to log issues at home that the school may need to be aware of that might hamper his day. Tell them you need it so that you can discuss behaviour with him at home (you dont have to but they like to hear it ) PP would have witnessed you handing it over too. If it doesnt come home in his bag then march up/or over there and request it the next morning or keep emailing them for it, till they get the message you want it every day.

Yes. I will coff thanks.

When he started at this school I had such high hopes, even with our experiences at his old school. I went through the NHS system, even though it has let ds1 down since he was 4 days old.

And here I am.

Again.

This time next year things will be different!!

Don't give the exercise book to the SENCO.

Give it to his new teacher when you pick him up the first day.

Just tell her this is home school book where she (or the TA) needs to write in every day - and hope she assumes it's normal :)

Say it was agreed with the HT/SENCO last year due to all of his SN.....

(It won't work, but I think in this case try to bypass the SENCO and talk to his teachers as much as possible....)

Or a tip from starlight would be to actually fill in the book with questions and check boxes so all the teacher would have to do is tick the boxes.

Not exactly sure how this would work but maybe something like:

DS behaved in class
DS completed his work
DS asked for help
DS participated in group discussions

Or whatever you actually want to know, to make it super quick for the teacher to do.........

Much better idea indigo

Things I have in my book are

DS coped well during playtimes/lunchtimes
DS coped well in PE
DS behaved in a group discussion/event
DS behaved for his TA
DS managed to complete his work

I have boxes for yes/no alongside and a line below stating simply "If no could you please elaborate.

I also enter things like DS slept badly last night etc so they can be aware and make allowances.

Thats really helpful, thanks

Off the top of my head I would put in;

Did DS manage to complete his work?
Did he ask for help when he needed it?
Did he read with teacher/TA today?
Did he cope in PE?
Did he drink some of his water?

Are they ok?

They sound fine to me.

Basically anythng that you feel you need to know. You can add on as you go should the school comment on anything else happening in school

I think apart from the info log it also helps you feel part of your sons day when you are not with him.

Yes.

He tells us NOTHING.

Becaroo - I forgot. When DD had a home school book she would never remember to bring it home. So it didn't work very well.

If you are able to pick up every day, I'm wondering if it would be better just to try and speak to the teacher every day? Only one or two questions.....

Then if they don't like that they can always suggest a home school book.....

Just so fed up.

Ds1 reading to me earlier...just awful

Guessing HF words, not recognising phonics stuff I have been doing with him since he was 5 fgs!!!

dont know what to do anymore

Becaroo. Have you tried Headsprout?

(sorry if I've asked that before)

At his age he could fly through it but you do need to check the stats to make sure he gets over 90% before allowed to do the next episode.

:(

Yep - did it 3 years ago star First thing I tried, actually.

Have also tried Jolly phoncs, Step by step and toe by toe.

Doing write from the start atm, but starting to wonder why I bother...it just causes upset and I end up frustrated and angry with him which is ridiculous.

Reading scheme wise - he is a level behind where he was 2 years ago.

Has anyone had experience of a child who just couldnt retain phonic information???? In a recent school test he got 56 out of 100 HF words....so only just over half. Not great is it?

GP thought that ds1 could have some brain damage as a result of his prolonged (and undx) jaundice.....anyone know how this could present itself???

School are "happy" with his "progress".....just dont know where to go from here.

:(

But it's not just phonic information he can't retain - he can't remember whole (sight) words either.

So like DD it's really a huge memory problem, where it doesn't matter what or how you teach them today - they'll have forgotten it by tomorrow.

So does anyone know more than me about improving memory?

SENCOs swear that memory games help - but I'm not convinced. (Although I haven't tried them)

Jungle Memory claims to improve memory - but it was far too hard for DD to do and just ended up with more stress and tears.

Challenging our Minds is the next one I'm contemplating doing......

DD went away for 1 week and forgot how to read :( So we're back to phonics flash cards with her.......

I think all you can do at the moment is:

• Try to find someone else to work with DS. It really is too depressing and stressful for you. Are there any teenagers near by? It doesn't have to be someone trained....

• Go back to phonics flashcards, and just go over and over and over his phonics for the next few days till school starts.....

• And keep on with the retained reflexes therapy.

Thanks indigo

Sorry to hear about your dd

Have got the appt with the paed.

Am looking into a private EP too.

Think I am giving up re: working at home with him til he has been seen...its just too upsetting/stressful

Oh no indigo how could that happen :( She was doing really well IIRC purple band??

Becarooo Sometimes you just have to give yourself some time off. We have done no RRT or VT exercises all holidays and I think that emotionally we have definitely benefited from the break.

ben

Yes, I regret trying to get him to do his holiday journal now

Am continuing with the RRT but thats it...dh can get him to read...I just dont want to

Have e mailed an EP. Would like ds1 to be assessed before the Paed appt on 8th.

If I have both reports by the 3rd (next meeting at school) that would be ideal.

Ben10 - she's not that bad. She did forget how to read, but with a few days of drilling flashcards it's coming back....... School doesn't go back for over a week, and she'll be back on track by then

She has however learnt to write over the summer!

DDs memory improved out of sight with AIT. And then again with RRT.

But it hasn't been quite as miraculous for Becarooos DS.

Becarooo - sounds like a good idea to give up for a while. I was constantly doing that with DD. Sounds like the right thing for you at the moment. And when you see the EP ask what she recommends for improving memory :( Also ask if she can thoroughly test his memory. There are many different types of memory (working, auditory, visual.....)......