Social services report blames me - how to respond?

[smugtandemfeeder]

Draft core assessment report has just arrived from the social worker. Throughout the report it blames all my DSs problems on me being anxious and over protective. It says that by persisting in labeling my DS as disabled and chasing a label for him I am hurting his self esteem and confidence in social situations.

How should I respond - if at all.

The report concludes that DS is not a child in need. I requested social services do an assessment. I dont really want a permenant report which says that I am the cause of all my DSs problems.

How does an advocacy service work? Who is eligible? If a child has no diagnosis would that mean they would not be eligible? Is it means tested?

nope Ds has only recently got some of his dx .not means tested and pretty much anyone that has extra needs themselves or has fmaily memner with .you can get pone advice or wait a while and they will provide someone to come to meetings .They can not say anyting at te meetings aboutyour child but they can listern advise you after .also if upset can call a break or as in like what happned with me ss start nosing into stuff nothing to do with the caf .they cna then gebtly butt in and steer meeting back

OK back to this question then.........

In my letter of response to the SW can I make it clear which parts of their opinion I disagree with? So where they have described me as over protective, that I dont encourage DS to be self-confident?

New pead has written us a letter today with a one off melatonin prescription. Has sent us on another parenting course. Letter says DS clearly has "behavioural problems" but that there could be a number of reasons for this which need to be explored at assessment centre in November. Its so annoying that two different paeds in the same place can have such vastly differing opinions of DS.

Why has Paed only given you a one off prescription?

Why has Paed sent you on another parenting course?

The fact that paed has sent you on another parenting course is not good evidence for you to disagree with SW opinion iyswim. Unless you have evidence that would suggest otherwise to back up your arguement?

No I know its not good evidence.

Do I need evidence to disagree with SWs opinions? Can I just state in letter that I disagree and my own personal reasons for disagreeing? Or do I have to let these opionions go uncommented on?

Paed has sent us on a parenting course called Webster-Stratton Incredible Years which apparently deals with very difficult behaviuoral problems. Off to google it.

Letter from paed says that the course will help us introduce different strategies for managing DSs sleep problems and the melatonin prescription is to help with these strategies.

Just saying that you dont agree, is not good enough reason, you have to back this up with something. Not knowing your exact circumstances, its difficult to know what you could back this up with though.

You say another parenting course, so i assume you have already been on one. Perhaps you could use this to back up your argument? Did they teach you ways to build self-confidence for example.

Why do you feel their opinion is inaccurate?

Your OP states "It says that by persisting in labeling my DS as disabled and chasing a label for him I am hurting his self esteem and confidence in social situations"

(from what i can gather so far) You raised your concerns with your GP, who referred you to Paed. Paed also has concerns and has referred for ASD assessment.

What are they basing persisting and labelling on?

These were my thoughts. I know this is probably all wrong for a letter to the social worker, hence asking advice here. I am in no way an expert in dealing with social workers so please be gentle!

......................................................................................................

I disagree with your opinion that I am overprotective in relation to preschool and would ask you to reconsider this opinion. I know when my son is unhappy and when a learning environment does not provide a stimulating environment for my son. This has been demonstrated by me changing my sons preschool to one in which he is happy. I believe this should be described as being an excellent and responsive mother, not seen as a problem which will damage my sons self esteem. DS has also been attending a childminder for two years, where he has ample opportunity to mix with other children his own age. As you note in your report, we regularly attend Hop, Skip and Jump play centre where DS enjoys playing with other children his age and joining in group activities such as music time.

I disagree with your opinion that I do not encourage DS to be self-confident. I spend hours each day helping my son to be self-confident and to overcome his fears. I take him to Hop Skip and Jump so that he can increase his confidence in a safe social setting. DS has been attending a childminder for two years so that he can increase his self confidence to be away from us as his parents. We have already attended

I disagree that I should be patient enough to wait for assessment for DS. If we are assessed in December we will have been waiting a year for assessment. This is an unacceptable wait for services and does not meet with the Trusts own standards for assessment within NHS waiting list time-scale of assessing children within 18 weeks of referral. Research into Autistic Spectrum Disorders shows that early intervention is the key to helping a child. Therefore I disagree with your comment that treating DS as though he has autism would have an adverse impact on his emotional development, the ability to develop social skills and to be confident.

I disagree with your comment that none of the professionals have witnessed the behaviours. The paediatrician Dr X assessed DS as having ?complex needs? and hence referred him for assessment for autism. The doctor would not have done this if they had not witnessed any of the behaviours which lead to a diagnosis of autism. I would like you to change your statement that we are insistent on labelling DS, as he has been referred by Dr xxx after her assessment and so it is not just our opinion that DS may have a disability.

We went on a parenting course CAMHS sent us on which was based on the watch wait and wonder course. We passed with flying colours....

"Watch, Wait and Wonder is a child led psychotherapeutic approach that specifically and directly uses the infant's spontaneous activity in a free play format to enhance maternal sensitivity and responsiveness, the child's sense of self and self-efficacy, emotion regulation, and the child-parent attachment relationship. The approach provides space for the infant/child and parent to work through developmental and relational struggles through play. Also central to the process is engaging the parent to be reflective about the child's inner world of feelings, thoughts and desires, through which the parent recognizes the separate self of the infant and gains an understanding of her own emotional responses to her child. Because of the central role of the infant/child in the intervention and the relationship focus, Watch, Wait and Wonder differs from other interventions which tend to focus primarily on the more verbal partner, the parent."

1. Quote the report in small sections.
2. State what is inaccurate.
3. keep it short.
4. evidence
5. what you want them to do about the comment.

Report states "I am persisting in labeling my DS as disabled and chasing a label for him"

All appointments i have taken ds to have been referrals from professionals who share my concerns. See attached reports.

List them and what they concluded

GP concluded ......................... and referred to Paed.

Paed concluded ...........................and referred ds for ASD assessment.

etc, etc, etc.

I fail to see how this amounts to me persisting in labelling ds as disabled and chasing a label for him and would like ..................whatever you would like them to do about this, amend, remove etc.

SW will form her own professional opinon based on what evidence she has, that is the purpose of the report.

You cannot disagree with her opinion, unless it has been based on inaccurate evidence.

I really would not assume that because a paed has referred you for ASD assessments that they are considering it. We were told like you my son had complex needs and were told that we had been referred for ASD assessment but there was a long wait. When we finally accessed the medical records we realized they had never really considered it and we were being lied to whilst they had more time to build their case against us.

I actually sat outside the room whilst I was told my son was having an ADOS test (two one hour sessions a week apart) and that they would video it. We were then invited for a feedback meeting 4 weeks later and then told they had not done it as decided not necessary!! They did not even tell me at the end of the sessions. I now know they did a WISC 1V IQ test instead that takes about an hour but dont know what they did for the other hour. Dread to think. My son tells us daily that his teacher beats him etc etc so cant imagine what he would have said about us and if that would have been videoed as I had given premission to video the ADOS.

Maybe someone in the profession can advise what complex means ie would a paed use this as a description if they thought it was ASD?
What we were told face to face was very different to what was in the notes.

I also meant to say our paed had referred my son for ASD assessment but written in her notes that she saw no evidence of any behaviours that would indicate this. Unless your paed has said more than complex needs I would not take this to mean she has seen anything to indicate ASD. You need to see her notes before you can be sure. Any idea how long until you get the notes to see if you can wait to reply to SW until you see the paed and CAMHS notes?

The notes are overdue for CAMHS. Haven't specifically requested paeds notes. I am certain the first paed thought DS had ASD as she said this and wanted to diagnose him. However she was very junior and was a visiting paed.

After each visit to paed, you should receive a report, basically saying what was discussed, observed, plan of action etc did you not receive this?

When Paed referred ds for ASD assessment he provided a report of what difficulties i said ds had, lots of 'mum says' and what he observed:- Ds was playing with cars by lining them up by colour, he did not seek to play with any other toys during the one hour consultation. Eye contact was reduced. He played on his own throughout the consultation and did not seek to interact. He smiled when i spoke to him, but did not communicate with me.

He concluded:- Ds is XXX year old boy who seems to have difficulties in different areas of his development. These difficulties are likely related to ASD. I have given mum some information about ASD and i have agreed with her the following plan.

1. I will refer ds to the ASD team for assessment

It then lists several more things.

Do you have anything like this?

Yes, I have one letter like this. I gave a copy to social worker and with DLA application.

Paed has observed some of the behaviours you describe?

Paed has written that these behaviours are likely associated with ASD?

Paed has written that they are going to refer for ASD assessment?

we have made many visits to paediatricians, only one for the ASD referral but regular 6 monthly for an ongoing medical condition and have never once received anything in writing from any of the paeds. Hence I did not realise that it was suspicious that we did not receive one following the ASD referral appointment. Should all paeds do this? On reading the medical notes I can see that all the paeds send a letter to our GP updating on each appointment but we have never been copied in.

Yes Attachment, its standard, any report written about your child, you should get a copy of. My GP also gets a copy and any other professionals involved in ds's care. You shouldnt have to ask to be copied in, but do, if they are not.

Sorry Smug but just skimmed through some posts, so forgive me if I've missed owt. The bit about the WS parenting course struck a chord. I got sent on one of them cos apparently cos my youngest didn't behave for others as he behaved for me was my fault.
(although bearing in mind he's SLD with Fragile X/Autism/Severe ADHD/ Complex Tourettes -not to mention that he also had a heart murmur and 'generalised epilepsy whatever the f*ck that is at the time) and that he's the youngest of 4 (his older bro also same condition but two girls who are fine)
But of I went to show willing and it was what I thought it would be; teaching your grandma to suck eggs. Learnt sod all but made a couple of nice mates also with SLD kids lol.

You can complain, I would seriously try n get a solicitor who specialises in SEN- Mencap do a list local to your area, google em.
I'm in process of stage two complaint and have a solcitor who is blinding. Also get legal aid as it's done in the childrens names and they aint got any money!

They do all these things to put you off your goal. Don't let 'em! Grrrr so much for being there to help vulnerable people. More like making it harder and harder to get basic help these days all cos of money.

Could this be our hospital or region policy as my son has seen his consultant paed very regularly for his ongoing medical condition, other son seen community paed just for glue ear and I see consultant at same hosp for my own ongoing care 6 monthly and none of us has ever been copied in on letters sent to GP? Does anyone else know if this is regional/discretionary or it is policy everywhere?

Smug. Again, sorry to hear what you are going through. We have similar goings on at the moment.

I have been on 2 Webster-Stratton courses so far. I've actually enjoyed them, and some of the reward systems do work for a certain time (until my DS starts demanding bigger and better rewards). All these strategies tend to be short lived in my experience but I have to say consistency is the key to even a short length of success.

Following four months of assessments we have been told my son has something, but the Pscyhologist does not know a name for it! She says from my descriptions he has ASD, but during ADOS and School observations he is not. the psych and I am at a loss and quite confused. He has been diagnosed with food phobia, and anxiety has been mentioned.

I have also asked the question of early intervention. The psychologist has told me that early intervention only really counts for classic autism, as opposed to High Functioning/Aspergers etc, so she's told me not to worry too much on that score. She has said that even if we did get a diagnosis of HFA/Aspergers (she's referring us for a 2nd opinion), then not a lot would be different for us. She said there's no guarantee of a statement at School for example.

One thing the Psychologist said was that you can apply strategies that work with ASD children to any child as it is the ASD child who will be most challenging. So I don't get the strategy you've been told, as treat them like a normal child. For example, if you were telling my DS that his plate of food was all he would get that week, would he eat it? Absolutely not! His teacher has said the more pressure you put on him the less he complies.

while I don't want my DS to have a label for the sake of it. I constantly have to apologise for (what seems like) him being ignorant. Selfishly, I want to know what it is! I have just gone down the route of private assessments also (for dyslexia etc) - just waiting for the quotes.

I wish you all the best.

DS responds well to novelty so im sure he will like whatever the course teaches you for a while. He responded well to small rewards for a day or two. Then he started asking for rewards when he wanted them and refusing them when we noticed good behaviour. Then the novelty wore off altogether and he refused all rewards.

Cant remember what paed said in letter exactly. I stupidly sent the original off to DLA and they havent sent it back. I know it listed the behaviours I described at home, then had a paragraph on her observations, it was one of the few times DS has really shown his behaviours in an assessment so she had a lot of observations. It simply reccomended being sent to assessment centre, I dont remember it specifically mentioning ASD although it may have.