thanks everyone - have 2 of 3 asleep & a tiny glass of wine - more tears from ds about nursery 'I was sad today at nursery and I was angry with daddy' :(
DS is dry at night (has been for ages) & will get up to use the toilet if needed, hence the 'he's perfectly capable of being toilet trained' - I honestly don't know if it's behavioural or psychological or bowel related. We've made no real sustained progress in the last 18 months with day time toileting - he has nappies from the inco service now, I constantly switch between don't want him to lose the skills he has & lets leave it and try again in a few months.
Sigh.
Smug - great news about the weaning .... I hope it helps with sleep (it didn't with ds (melatonin has been a miracle for us) but I was so relieved when he finally stopped anyway!).