sometimes being a mum of SN kids sucks

[lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs]

fed up and need to crawl up to bed and cry but i dont have time. I feel like im trying to tear myself in different ways and im failing my beutiful girls :(

You are doing a wonderful job for your girls.

I feel the same way though. It is hard. Very hard. I dont know what to do first. Im doing 100 things and not doing any of them well.

Oh Lisa (((hugs)))

You absolutely aren't failing your girls - you are a wonderful dedicated Mum.

Is there any way you can plan a break sometime soon?

I was thinking today how we all eat sleep and breath SNs and how without finding ways to take a break - even just a small one - it ends up consuming us.

I've even been thinking about leaving MN for a while, because my life seems so far removed from 'normal life' (for want of a better description) with every single aspect influenced by SNs that I need to get some distance and perspective - well as far as I can whilst living with a SNs child 24/4.

we had a family holiday planned over easter but cancelled us my mum had a stroke. Now we have no babysitters either :(

((hugs)) lisa
sorry about your mum

hugs Lisa
about your mum, really hope you can get a trip somewhere later in the year.
I's just so endless, isn't it

Oh no, Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope she's ok.

Can you and dh take turns to have a day off each, until you can sort some childcare/sitters out?

Sometimes just the opportunity to go for a leisurely coffee in a nice coffee shop, have a mooch around a bookshop and perhaps a walk in the sunshine, on your own with no-one else's needs to consider and meet can really make all the difference - maybe even just alternate Saturdays or something?

Its so hard to make time for yourself when you are used to putting everyone else first, but if you don't, you won't be able to keep up the pace and then everyone suffers. You need to take care of you as well as your dds.

((more hugs))

I do get time, but its straight back to the crap :( and my phone never stops ringing when im out.
Trying to sort both the girls out is just so tiring

Hi Lisa. You need some 'you' time. Any chance of a girls night out with friends and ban all talk of children?

Crossed posts, sorry.

Switch it off.

As long as someone responsible has the girls (eg dh) there's nothing that can't wait a couple of hours until you get home - and when you do get time off/away, make sure you do something for you, that you want to do, rather than running errands or doing anything child or work related.

Honestly, you will burn yourself out. No-one can be all things to all people 24/7 without a proper break. You are just as important and worthy of some peace, space and spoiling, if not moreso, being the lynchpin of your family.

Please try to be kinder to yourself.

I can't help but sending a hug and a honk. x

Honk? Lol

Yeah.... did you read the thread a few months back....about the geese?

Honking !

As in, an expression of support....

Must have missed that one! All I thought was someone coming up and squeezing breat and going "honk" lol!!

It really did exist....am not a nutter, honest!

It is exhausting Lisa. moosemama is right, if we get no breaks at all, then we will burn out.

Our DS1 is not a good sleeper, DH and I are constantly tired because of the lack of sleep, we have no family to help. I am working fulltime as well (DS sick today, so at home). If I won the lottery I would stop working! Forget my career dreams.

I agree, it is exhausting. We do eat, sleep, drink, breathe SNs all the time... no break ever, even during a break we're still running things through our heads. I know it's not just me that does that. You can't shut it off from your brain...

I'm a SAHM, and I'm worn out from it all. I can't even imagine dealing with a full time job on top of it.

Some days I think life would be easier if we just HE'd and didn't have to deal with schools and statements and such. But then, we'd be HE'ding... LOL .... and stressed over that! Can't win!

And a lot of us, I suspect, are caffeine addicts - coffee, tea, or diet coke - due to lack of sleep! God knows I am!

Anyone else have days where you'd just like to have a large bonfire with all the paperwork we're supposed to deal with? I'll bring the hotdogs and marshmallows!!

Triggles: Actually, thinking about it I think being a SAHM is even more tiring. When I am at work I am not thinking about our problems, I can "switch-sn-off" for some hours. The ideal solution for me is a part-time job really.

Caffeine addict - absolutely - could not survive without it.

Hi Lisa, I know exactly how you feel. So I am honking for you...........I was on the honking thread so I know it to be true!

timetoask DH works odd hours, so between DS2's SNs, DS3 (1yo), and DH's odd hours, child care is impossible. Hence SAHM. I don't mind it, but right now I feel buried under with everything. I come on here sometimes just to let off a little steam - it's either that or scream some days!!

AND I'm OUT of DIET COKE!!!!

I obviously missed the honking thread.... lol....completely

lol i thought honking means stinky i missed that thread too but hey im so out of whack most days with lack of sleep and middle age and a house of teens im surprised i manage to find my brain at all ,,,,,who said that? am i the only woman (DH thinks so) thats so wrapped up in the kids and DS and his sen i actually forgot our anniv he brought me a card and earrings and i said what are these for

I am in awe of those with dc with SN who work outside the home too!! I am a SAHM and some days I am literally hallucinating with fatigue (neither of my 2 - 1 SN and 1 NT sleep well)

Dh does what he can but he has to work.

The issue we have atm is going out....for example, dh and I are going to a wedding reception on saturday (I hope!) and ds1 is already really really anxious about it...its only about 5 mins away from where we live and my mum and dad are babysitting so I dont know what more we can do...other than not go .

I - literally - cant imagine what it must be like to be able to just plan something, not worry about it for weeks before hand, get no sleep for the 2/3 days prior and then worry the whole time you are there!!!!

Must be nice

Becaroooo that is so true! I'm staying home from a wedding of close friends of ours because we simply cannot contemplate taking DS2. It's out of town, requiring a long drive, 2 nights in a hotel, and a large wedding full of strangers and reception/party, prior to a long drive home again. I'm the driver in the family, so all the driving would be down to me. DH is in the wedding, so all the childcare would be solely down to me (DS2 & DS3), which means if I have to take one child out if they're noisy in the wedding, I'd have to take both! And both nights in the hotel I couldn't sleep as I'd be terrified DS2 would get into something or get out of the room while we were sleeping. And then driving home on no sleep....

DH is going down on the train, staying in a room right next to the wedding venue, and catching the train back the day after the wedding. Less expense, less stress. I feel bad that I can't go (and they're fully aware of DS2's difficulties, but would have been happy for us to be there), but it's just too stressful and frankly dangerous regarding the driving when so tired. So instead I'll be home for 3 days with no DH to help out. sigh.... but better the stress I know than stress in a strange place I suppose....