So fucking angry !!!!!

[Rockmaiden]

Apologise in advance for my angry rant lol.

My son (nearly 7 years) as some of you will know from seeing me around has GDD, Autism and ADHD. His school behaviour is pretty terrible and as a result he dosn't exactly have any friends, he can be pretty violent.

Anyway today at school a group of 3 children (aged 9-10 years) decide to attack him. I don't just mean a fight after a full blown attack!

One child came over to him and wanted to show him something, being very naive and trusting my son followed him to a corner on the playground that due to the current building work on the school is almost out of sight to the playground staff.

The older boy led him there and the other 2 children were waiting. Two children then held him arms still whilst the third punched him several times in the stomach. They let go off him and he fell to the floor. One nasty fucking shit of a child then STAMPED on his head and kicked him in the face!

He came home from school with bruises to his ribs, a cut on the side of his face and what looks like it will be a black eye by tomorrow.

I want to bloody cry, he looks such a mess. How can something like this happen?

After the incident my son went and hid, the teachers found him in that state and the other children that had seen what happened filled the teachers in (my son is almost non-verbal and can only say a few words)

I have kicked up such a fuss at school today and am trying to talk myself out of approaching the parents of the children as well (I know who the parents of 2 of the children are, one is our next door neighbour)

I understand that my son is violent and these children as well as many others have been on the receiving end before now but he isn't deliberately aggressive, it's just rough play mostly and sensory issues. This was a planned and calculated attack and a level of violence that had I not seen the state of my son I would refuse to believe goes on at a primary school.

I am not sending him school tomorrow, I want these kids bloody well punished first and something put in place to stop this happening again. It's not the first time he has been targetted but it's never been this bad before.

Not sure what steps I can ask for them to follow but they had better to something. My poor, poor baby :(

Thank you everyone for the advice.

I have got in touch with both parent partnership and ipsea to help me with his statement application. I am pleased to see I am not the only one thinking he needs one as school led me to believe I was asking for too much.

I have written letters officially complaining about the incident to the school and the LEA. I have enclosed some photo's of the injuries and also mentioned a previous incident which was not dealt with.

To explain briefly, he climbed onto some temporary fencing (building works as I said) and jumped off chipping his knee cap in the process. The school explained it in a 'he shouldn't have climbed the fence' way but at the time I was thinking if he was being watched it wouldn't have happened so have added it to my complaint and enclosed the hospital report.

I will NOT be sending him back to school, after what happened earlier today I can't bring myself to do it.

We went out to the shops and walked past the boy who lives next door (the ring leader in the attack). The boy did and said nothing so I ignored him but my son dropped to the floor and started screaming, he was covering his head at the time so I can only imagine he expected another attack, who knows?

Seeing his reaction really got to me and I can't put him in an environment with these kids again, clearly he has been affected by it and it breaks my heart that he can't understand what has happened. I don't know what to say to reassure him as (and please don't take this the wrong way) I don't know how much intellegence and logical thought he has to understand what I am saying and what happened etc.

We have a CAHMS appointment on Thursday so I will be discussing it there and seeing what I can do to help him deal with this.

Your poor boy. I'm sure you're doing the right thing, Rockmaiden. I hope this ends up having a positive outcome for your DS and he gets some really good provision at a supportive school. ((hugs))

Hi Rockmaiden - I've been following your thread all weekend and it has really upset me. Your poor poor DS - its a bloody jungle out there. I think you have had some amazing advice from a group of people who truly care about you and DS. I can imagine us all at our PCs around the country just sitting reading in total shock and horror.
Your last post also struck a chord as we can never tell what is going on in their precious heads when our children can't talk but I am certain the answer is nearly always a lot more than we think.
Google a girl called Carly Fleischmann - she is a profoundly autistic child who is non verbal and her parents had no idea to what extent she was functioning mentally and then at age 11 she began to type. The ABC interview with her father is incredible. I think it gives every parent of a non verbal, challenging child a lot of hope. It might help you connect with you DS on a different level. I felt very differently about my little DS after watching.

Link to Carly Fleischmann video - I stumbled across it whilst reading another SN thread on Wendy Lawson. Video is halfway down her page

Wow that is amazing, really has given me some hope.

Thank you very much :)

toppy that video on Carly Fleischmann made me cry . Her father was just incredible.

:( Poor little boy! I work as a 1:1 and let me tell you, this would not happen on my watch. Tell the school he needs 1:1 now .

I don't have any sound advice but am thinking of you and your little guy. :(

You are taking great positive steps. You can request emergency placement at special school and in certain situations this can happen without a statement on a temporary basis. You can also request home tuition from LA. I would not necessarily say I was home ed as the LA then have little responsibility. Instead say you have no choice until the LA sort a suitable placement and want a home tutor in meantime. Parent partnership can go to meetings etc not everyone finds them useful but in your situation a statement should be obvious. My DS has moderate asd, some speech, mild behaviour probs and has had FT 1:1 since age 3. There is no way a non verbal child will not get a statement and FT 1:1. I accept your school may not have known better but who did the salt think was delivering the language programmes if not got 1:1?

I don't accept that the school didn't know better.
They did, they just chose not to do anything.

Good luck, Rockmaiden. Please let us know how you get on.

OMG this is like dejavue! A few years ago ds1, AS and also damned aggressive, came home after being ebaten by twelve kids with shoe shaped bruises on him: school also told me nothing about it but were aware when we went back in.

I really regret not taking ds1 out immediately. not that it has happened again (it did precipitate some awful behaviour on his part mind) but becuase whilst I was told at the time I wouldn;t get a better school, I have in fact managed to get him a place (one of only two up) at a specilaist ASD Base for comp. Even with one day a week tehre atm he thrives; I suspect in a similar environment he'd be really ahead not in bottom class for everything and looking at terrible SATs marks (he's HF enough for that to matter- maybe more so for an average kid as he has so little social ability if that makes sense?)

Absolutely go to the GP; speak to the police. If you need motivation, do it to make a point to your son that he is worth so much more.

And most of all . It's ahrd for you I know, sense of shock and disbelief can make the initial reaction time a bad one to have be proactive in.

Well done RM

I really hope that this starts the ball rolling to get the provision for your ds

x

Have been following this thread, and would second the advice to keep him home till the EWO knocks on the door. As said above, the LA may even arrange an emergency (possibly special) school placement. Getting a solicitor to write a scary letter sounds good as does involving the local neighbourhood police team. Good luck at CAMHS too.

Sounds like your request for statement application is going to be short and sweet so to quote a well-known poster here: 'Dont delay, request SA today'. You can book GP appointments (one for him, one for you) to keep an eye on his injuries and your stress levels, and to place this incident firmly in the medical notes. You can also contact the speech therapist and sensory OT seeing him in school asking about alternative interim arrangements to continue his therapy.

I wouldn't waste too much time and energy on your complaint to the school, since your darling boy will never set foot there again. A half page outline of the most damning facts addressed to the governors, copied to Ofsted, the MP, LEA and local councillor responsible for education should put the cat amongst the pigeons. The formal 'outcome' of the complaint is irrelevant.

Well done for getting him out and enjoy a peaceful Easter holidays knowing you and he are safe and aren't going back . And there are good schools, where he can thrive and be happy.

If you do go for a meeting with the HT, ask for a copy of their SEN policy.
I wonder how much of it they're implementing...

Oh Rockmaiden
I actually cried a few tears just now reading this. Your 2nd post about him being only 6 love his heart, and you thinking others know best.
Right I'll say this now my love, Bullshit they know best! Sorry but let's not beat around the bush; you know your son better than anyone. Just cos they have a degree does not make them better or more knowledgeable when it comes to SEN and your son.
(I have a degree; big fat hairy deal, don't mean I know anything- my knowledge comes from life not university!)

They have failed so remarkably outstandingly well here. In every aspect of this from letting it happen in the 1st place to not informing you to treating you as if you're makiing a fuss about nothing.

There are some support agencies out there for things like this, you could try SNAP (special needs advisory panel) for one, they may direct you elsewhere for some kind of advocacy or support service to help you approach this bitch of a head teacher. Don't let her intimidate you (imagine her naked sitting on the bog!), she's there to provide a service in a safe and secure environment and she's failed astronomically!
You are right to go for the statement yourself and when they say their bit about him not needing anything (which they most likely weill) do not sign it uintil you're totally happy with it.
I've not had mcuh to do with statements for years now (just reviews annually) as my 2 sons were done yonks ago but I remember there's a part of it which is legallly binding where it says how much support they should get.
I'm sure others on here know more than me regarding them.

It's terribly daunting when you're on that bottom rung of the SEN ladder but always remember, when you feel weak and threatened, you are fighting for your son cos no other buggers gonna do it for you and no one knows him better than you my love, whatever they may have you believe.
Everyone else has said everything else which I agree with; e.g. police etc.
Best of luck darlin. Big hugs to your precious boy