So fucking angry !!!!!

[Rockmaiden]

Apologise in advance for my angry rant lol.

My son (nearly 7 years) as some of you will know from seeing me around has GDD, Autism and ADHD. His school behaviour is pretty terrible and as a result he dosn't exactly have any friends, he can be pretty violent.

Anyway today at school a group of 3 children (aged 9-10 years) decide to attack him. I don't just mean a fight after a full blown attack!

One child came over to him and wanted to show him something, being very naive and trusting my son followed him to a corner on the playground that due to the current building work on the school is almost out of sight to the playground staff.

The older boy led him there and the other 2 children were waiting. Two children then held him arms still whilst the third punched him several times in the stomach. They let go off him and he fell to the floor. One nasty fucking shit of a child then STAMPED on his head and kicked him in the face!

He came home from school with bruises to his ribs, a cut on the side of his face and what looks like it will be a black eye by tomorrow.

I want to bloody cry, he looks such a mess. How can something like this happen?

After the incident my son went and hid, the teachers found him in that state and the other children that had seen what happened filled the teachers in (my son is almost non-verbal and can only say a few words)

I have kicked up such a fuss at school today and am trying to talk myself out of approaching the parents of the children as well (I know who the parents of 2 of the children are, one is our next door neighbour)

I understand that my son is violent and these children as well as many others have been on the receiving end before now but he isn't deliberately aggressive, it's just rough play mostly and sensory issues. This was a planned and calculated attack and a level of violence that had I not seen the state of my son I would refuse to believe goes on at a primary school.

I am not sending him school tomorrow, I want these kids bloody well punished first and something put in place to stop this happening again. It's not the first time he has been targetted but it's never been this bad before.

Not sure what steps I can ask for them to follow but they had better to something. My poor, poor baby :(

Get photographic evidence of your son.
Report this to the police.
Make a verbal and written complaint to the LEA.

This is horrendous. What a totally crap school. These kids sound like the Bulger killers of the future..........

PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!!

How is your wee boy now? Poor, poor little fella.

Feeling so angry for your DS. How is he now?

the children whom are 10 above do meet the criteria for ASBO i would really consider taking some sort of legal action against the school atleast even a threat thats absoloutely appauling no child with or without special needs should have to go through this. the school should be one place where the child with such conditions needs to feel safe and secure i think you need the local authority to provide your ds with one to one support.
i'm so sorry to hear about your son i cant imagine what he must be going through.

pls pls pls do make a formal complaint about the school to the ofsted! you will never be taken seriously unless you goto such lengths to complain!

"normal" kids (and I have one myself) can be such evil bastards to SN kids.

It's heartbreaking, I wish I could go to school with DS2 and be his "best friend". Have you thought about an independent specialist school - I took my LEA to court and got a place for DS2.

Really sorry. I think this is every parent on here's worst nightmare. I have a 9 year old boy and he would never dream of hitting anyone at school. Definitely do not speak to the parents direct. Any children who could do this at 9 is likely to have 'issues' at home of their own I would suspect and it may well be learned behaviour from home eg parents are violent or abusive. So go through the proper channels. I would agree with contacting the community policeman there will be one which covers the schools in your area even if all that happens is that the Police and school talk to the parents / children jointly. And the children should certainly be excluded at least temporarily until its resolved.

This is a disability hate crime and should be reported and treated as such.

The other thing you can do is call an urgent CAF or team around the child meeting to look at why the support and supervision was lacking and whether he needs more 1:1 / a Statement of SEN, the Statement changing.

The Childrens Legal Centre is good for advice and will offer a free initial tel call.

Rockmaiden absolutely appaling your poor son . I would go straight to the police, this is a serious criminal offence. This would not be tolerated in the community and should not be tolerated at school, hope that your poor ds is ok.

Like others have said: take photographs, go to police, GP, see school, if not LEA make a complaint. The school should have informed you as soon as this happened. They are in loco parentis and have failed your ds big time, I would find another school if you are still not happy

How's your boy today? And please keep us updated on what happens. THIS COULD BE ANY ONE OF US!!

Not been online all day sorry, will try and answer all the points.

Triggles - No they didn't call me, they didn't even tell me what had happened and when I asked about the injuries I was told he had been in a fight. The full story came out later from other children who had witnessed what happened.

The children who did this were 9 and 10 years old. One of them has problems himself due to his traumatic past. The school told me on Friday the incident had been dealt with but refused to say what was going to happen. The ring leader of the whole attack lives next door to us and was out playing like nothing had happened the next day.

David - So sorry to hear what happened to your little one and thanks for the offer - will send you a pm now.

Marne - I have taken photographs. I considered the police but most of the children involved are 9 and so below the age of criminal responsibility, I assumed they would not do anything.

Faux - We are BEGGING for a 1-1 believe me. He used to have one, although she was a parent volunteer but now she has left they havn't replaced her.

Everytime I ask for one I am told the school are 'making steps'. It was only a few months ago that someone mentioned school action to me and I asked what level my son was on. The teacher told me none, despite him recieving support for the last 2 years and having several outside agencies involved! He is now on school action plus. The teacher seems clueless as to what steps to follow, as am I sadly.

Moose - Thank you very much, hugs to your poor boy also. Why are kids so cruel?

Alison - That is how I have been, litterally shaking and sobbing. My son is only 6 and has the mental age of a 3 year old so he is so innocent and naive, he can't understand what happened and why.

Thank you all or your nice wishes and advice. I am still learning in this new field of SEN and don't always know how to proceed. I am well aware the school are not doing enough and I have posted on this matter several times before but I keep getting fobbed off and so am not sure how to proceed now. I suppose I have spent too long trusting what the professionals have told me.

My son is fine today, luckily he is the sort of child to move on from things very quickly and find something else to do, although he did get upset when seeing one the the boys involved in the incident staring through our living room window (as I said he lives next door and often does this). They were actually friends at one point.

School has now broken up so will be having a good think and approaching them again when they return. I had actually been in for a meeting the week before this happened to express my concern about the bullying going on as I had heard the name calling etc. so it's not like they weren't aware. They told me they would keep an eye out for it. The next day as I walked my son out of school a child walked past him and smacked him round the head as he walked past!

Will update when they go back to school and let you know how I get on.

Please tell me your son won't be stepping foot in that school until you have clear and tangible evidence (a written action plan) showing that this will NEVER happen again!

Write to the SEN and Attendance officers at your LEA stating that your son needs a statement as it is unsafe for him to attend school.

Smacked him round the head?????

Do not let him go back to that school! Home ed, apply to a different local school, whatever you have to do. He should not be suffering abuse like that, and in a place you are supposed to be able to trust to look after him!

why are you sending him back there??????????????

He's practically non-verbal? He has high needs? he is agressive?

Why the HELL does he not have a statement? Request one yourself. You don't need the school to do this.

He clearly needs 1:1.

Please please please, I am begging you, do NOT send that boy back to school until this is sorted. I wouldn't send him back to that school full stop!

You have a responsibility to protect him. Please don't send him back into that environment.

The school has completely failed in its duty of care towards your son.
Write a letter that they will receive on the first day of term (copied to the CofG and the LA) requesting an urgent meeting with the HT the SenCo and if possible the teacher.
Ask them what they intend to do about the perpertrators of the assault and what steps are in place to a) safeguard your son and other children in the future and b) what steps are in place to provide him with the educuation they have so far failed to provide.
Demand an assessment from an Educational Psycologist and move heaven and earth to get him a statement and one-to-one care.
Do NOT send him back until you get satisfactory answers/provision.
(And in the meantime, is there another school you could send him to?)

Agree complete with hec

You have some time to do this calmly, Rockmaiden. Like others I'm shocked your DS hasn't already been assessed for a statement of SEN. You need to spend some time reading up the SEN code of practice. link here Don't be fobbed off by LA or others saying there's a green paper out, it has many months if not years to take effect.

Your DS should have been on school action plus as soon as anyone outside of the school was involved in his education, like SALT or EP. You should have been getting IEPs that are SMART, reviewed at least 2 a year. You can request that statutory assessment for a Statement of SEN is started, you certainly seem to have enough evidence (including DLA) to get it started. You shouldn't be waiting for the school to start it, they are obviously inadequate.

Use the next week or so to get yourself knowledgeable about the process and take charge of your DS's education. As Attila is fond of saying, you are your child's only and best advocate. No-one else will do this for you. You'll get lots of help and advice on here.

totally agree with the other posters, apply for a statement yourself, template letter here there's also the ipsea helpline on that link, sossen and ace that can offer advice. Read the sen code of practice, it's really useful. Whilst it's fine to have meetings, do make sure you get and put as much in writing as possible, you may need this for evidence at a later date, follow every meeting up with a letter confirming your understanding of what was said. Do make a writen complaint to the school, cc to governors and sen team at the lea. I hope your ds is ok.

I asked for a statement and was told he dosn't need one. I disagree however and have just started steps to apply myself for one. Ideally I want him to attend either a special school or a mainstream school with special provision. The school he is at now is known for being terrible with SEN kids.

I have considered home educating but know that I could not honestly commit to it as have so much else on my plate. I have also considered pulling him out of school but firstly he has his sensory intergration and speech therapy at school and secondly last time I kept him off school for a week after another 'incident' I had visits from both the educational authority and social services.

The headteacher of the school is really intimidating and I know it sounds stupid but everytime I speak to her in meetings I find myself nodding and agreeing with her when I don't mean it. I need to toughen up and grow a bloody spine but I have so little confidence in myself when it comes to my son and in all honesty think i'm doing a pretty terrible job of meeting his needs and carry a lot of guilt that he has these needs in the first place so I don't feel in a position to argue people who in my mind tend to know better than me.

That proberly all makes no sense I know. I have a family support worker and have got in contact with her as she is good as a go-between when it comes to school. There was a confidentiality issue last year when they released details of my son's needs and provisions to another parent and she was wonderfull at dealing with the school so am hoping she can help again.

I understand about the intimidating HT so can you take someone with you? Your partner, mum, friend?
And get them to take notes - and don't be told that you can't!
And ignore the age of the children, you can still speak to the police and they can speak to the school too - this is too serious to leave.

Hi Rockmaiden and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your ds. :(
There is a trend in councils to get down the number of children with statements, so unless it is undisputable (like a child with Down Syndrome) the first reaction will always be that the child does not need a statement. You need to push for it and not stop until he gets one. I woould not take him back to that school. It would also be advisable to get independent legal help - first stop for that is the CAB.

Dont take him back.

Contact your LEA - tell them whats happened (i would suggest doing it by e mail and you have a copy) copy it to the school and deregister your son from that school at the same time (if you go on the home ed boards there is a letter you can download and add your own details to).

IME they will do ANYTHING to stop you home educating your child and it would prove to the LEA that your are serious about getting your son the help he needs and into a SS and that the "provision" in his old school was inadequate to say the least...I would call it negligent.

How can an educator say a non verbal child doesnt need a statement fgs!!!???

Tell them you are going to get legal advice - most firms offer a free 30 min consulatation - and then get some.

You could also contact "Parent Partnership" which mediates between LEAs/schools and parents and children and could be a good advocate for you.

Really hope your son gets the help he deserves.

The school aren't doing anything to help your DS Rockmaiden. They have let him down badly.
He needs to have a statement in order for him to have the support he requires and if I were in your position I would be keeping him home with me until the support is in place. If you apply today it is a maximum of 26 weeks until the statement is issued.

Call the Parent Partnership tomorrow. I think this comes under their remit and they can support you and offer advice on what you should do next.
I'm just so shocked by the treatment by other children and by the school towards your poor DS.

Just disgusting behaviour on the part of the school - they lied to you by telling you that your DS injuries were caused by a fight and you only found out the truth from other children! Complain, complain, complain! Write to the Governors, the Head Teacher, the LA, contact your local councillor.
Totally agree with the advice from other posters on this thread
Your DS needs a Statement ASAP and proper support put in place for his needs.
Do let us know how you get on.

FFS social services job is to ensure kids are protected. Keep him home and when the EWO & SW knock at the door show em the police report and photos. After this they'll put their professional weight behind the need for a statement + they can ask questions behind the scenes at the school a mere "parent" would never get away with.

Bugger being intimidated until your kid becomes a suicide statistic
or spends a few weeks in hospital. As Mums our primary function is to protect and defend our kids until they are able to do it for themselves, SEN or NT. Physical safety is fundamental to this objective.

You don't have to meet the head face to face if you don't want to - a letter to the head, copied to your MP and the governors should suffice, you can put in writing you find him/her intimidating. Schools are supposed to cooperate with parents not scare us ffs!

Ring parent partnership asap. I can't get over how this could happen so easily to anyone of us but for the grace of God.