Ooops made the TA cry

[asdx2]

Because I told her I wanted to photocopy her records of dd's support to use in rewritng her statement and questioned why they weren't dated. When asked about something dd had said she implied dd had got muddled I asked her if she was accusing dd of lying. Cue hysterics and her running off to the staff room. Is it just me or is this a total over reaction seeing as I have never questioned her before? Why would she feel so threatened? I wasn't bolshy although niggled about dd because I know dd was reporting factually, the echolalia never lies

DDs TA no longer talks to us at all because I wrote in her HW diary 'I'm upset that DD hasn't made any progress this year'

Somehow she took that comment personally. Whereas all I was doing was stating a fact....

Your TA has totally overreacted - which suggests to me she knows she is in for a telling off from someone higher up and she's trying to cover up....

Although of course it could be nothing like that. Bad PMS, trouble at home, whatever.... But I suspect it isn't

ahh ASD .. maybe she was having a bad day?

I tend to find that echolalia can sometimes be our friend ( I always know if ds is repeating what someone has said and who said it ..)

so did you get the dated records in the end?

( sorry if i caused you more bolshyness last night.. was in the middle of sencop and fighting our own fight.. and didn't mean to pass any of it over to you )

Probably ran off crying because you should have a degree of respect for those in the teaching profession and not question their practice - they do after all know better than you.

I wonder if you will get the Compalint and Harassment policy thrown at you too?

If she starts ignoring me I'll demand a new TA I know she's covering up and lying and the minute I get proof I'll be spontaneously combusting and give her reason to cry It wasn't even subtle it was full on wailing down the corridor God she wants to worry if a simple question brings her to tears she'll have a nervous breakdown if start to get annoyed with her.

I got the records not dated and suspiciously all written in the same pen [hmmm] I think that explains why the home school book hasn't been written in and she's laid low since I asked for evidence.
If I get the complaint and harassment policy I'll be sending them one of my own copied to the governors and the LEA
Have an interesting quote should anyone want to use it The school should ensure that the IEP is properly followed. Section 317 Education Act 1996, obliges the school governing body to use its best endeavours to meet the needs of those who may have learning difficulties. Quote away

"God she wants to worry if a simple question brings her to tears she'll have a nervous breakdown if start to get annoyed with her."

ASD you have just made me giggle!

I find it very hard to sit and listen to what some people spout..and I try very hard to not let it show..although for some reason my face and voice does 'calm', but I have no control over my cheeks flushing in anger.

the whole thing can be like walking on eggs shells with DMs on.. you don't want to gain unco-operative relations with staff and yet some staff will think nothing of directly lieing to your face.

I would much rather complete honesty.. rather than nancying about arse covering.
honesty gives you something to work on and improve if need be ( for all concerned)
arse covering just causes all to tail chase! ( and get either worried or annoyed)

and thank you for the quote :)

Oh dear. She may have been having a bad day and not expecting it. Totally weird behaviour though (especially someone who deals with an autistic kid all day)

I have always been 'straight' with DS' school. I always point that out too. I have also said that I can extremely blunt when necessary.

Heh heh. They treat me very carefully...

The echolalia never lies! Thank goodness it caught DS' entirely unsuitable (and somewhat cruel) childminder out in a big way.

She was expecting it she's been in hiding since I requested it, today was the last opportunity so she knew I'd come looking.
She shrieked as she ran "I can't take this anymore "
I imagine it has been quite stressful trying to provide what I wanted in two days when she has neglected to do what was required for three months
She'll be no match when I do complain now will she?

I know you asked for the TAs records, but is it all her writing? Do you know what her writing looks like? Wouldn't it be a classic if they ended up dated and included a date when your DD wasn't in.
The only small thing i can think of in some defence is that she showed them to the teacher and the teacher maybe chose different terminology and asked her to write them out again - neatly/correctly. It doesn't excuse lack of dates and most certainly doesn't excuse waterworks.
TA is being paid to do a job - you made a reasonable request. Could you imagine going to a cashier at Tesco and asking to buy some food and the cashier running off crying? - how unprofessional.

She ran off crying? Wow What did the teacher say?

Sorry ASD but you're making me laugh here - vision of TA running hysterically down the corridor. It gets a bit wearing when you get fed bs all the time and if she's not coping she should be raising it with HT.
I am now at the stage of getting firm with school staff rather than being a pushover. In meeting with Senco the other day she was wittering away about ds's needs and that was why they requested the statement etc. I calmly said 'I requested the statement actually. School advised me I wouldn't get it'.
She just carried on chatting as if I hadn't said anything but everyone else in the room clocked it. What a liberty!

Told Dh about this and he says it must be part of the job criteria .
We are always being accused of upsetting the staff and every time I ask Senco a question her hands start shaking

asdx2 - Thanks for the quote.

justunbelievable - I do agree with your DH. Though some are obviously better at it than others.

A lot of the lies our school have told are coming home to roost at the mo; thanks to copious note taking. Shame they've fucked up DS's education in the process.

Dd3 is very acurate when telling me things, she uses echolalia sometimes but mostly from TV programmes.

She is also very good at remembering things, I would be very upset if a teacher/TA tried to make out she wasn't acurate.

In fact she told me a little gem this morning, that when they eat their lunch in the classroom the Supervisor stands outside the door not in the room. I am pretty certain 8 year olds should be unaccompanied.

I have made a point of telling the HT a few little gems over the past 12 months or so, just so she knows I know whats going on.

Does this make me sound as if I don't trust Dd3's school.

She did apologise for crying by saying she was very tired. I said "tell me about it ds hasn't slept through the night in 16 years more than half your lifetime I must be made of sterner stuff "

Well something positive at least anyway, had the IEP review and so I laid my cards on the table.

I said that for my satisfaction and their protection then I wanted to see proper written evidence dated and sent home weekly because after all if it isn't recorded properly then they have no proof that they are meeting dd's IEP and subsequently the terms of her statement and should I complain then they wouldn't have a leg to stand on .

They seemed relieved to be offered this lifeline and so I made it expressly clear what sort of evidence I wanted to see. I also referred to the "evidence" I did get and said it's very boring for me to read what you are doing so I expect dd must be bored too. So I gave them lots of ideas of how they could address the targets in a way that would engage dd. They actually appreciated the ideas and so they will gather and show me the resources in the next week.

The target I wanted removing has gone (think they'd agree to anything today ) to be replaced with one to address dd's organisational skills so I would say that playing the long game has resulted in game set and match to me

Good for you asdx. I think that the professionals often forget that we are in this for the long haul. I have always wondered if they try the ignorance route first - doing sweet FA to help - in the hope that a good % of us fall by the wayside or don't have the time and resources to keep on at them.
You have let them know in no uncertain terms that they are going to have to be on the ball now - no slacking.
Ultimately, your DD is the main winner now. She will hopefully get a pimped up version of her IEP actually being delivered. congratulations