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Original poster

CAN MUMSNET HELP US???

179 replies

gilly3 · 25/01/2011 13:35

Dear mumsnet,can you help the the parent/carers on your forum,by possibly sending all of our stories to the pm,or helping us to keep the stories in the media,it would be a great help and i,m sure you would have all of our support.
WHAT DO YOU SAY MUMSNET?ITS GOT TO BE WORTH A GO,HASN,T IT?.XX

OP posts:
Jimmychasesangels · 26/01/2011 21:31

"if i needed to know how to toilet train an 8 year old then i dont think i would be a fit person to be caring for them in the first place"

what an offensive comment
words fail me(well they don't but they would be all swear words)

gotchababe · 26/01/2011 21:40

What is all this about Newbies? Is this not a site and a thread for everyone in our circumstances, SN Thread. Should you not embrace every piece of knowledge? No one stops learning in our situation. All advice invaluable, whether constructive or not to each individual.

I am a newbie and I am appalled at the negativity and the impending exodus's from some so called poster's.

Not a case of just media attention. It is making enough noise and getting the highers be, so to speak to stand up AND be accountable to our and our DC'S NEEDS.

We all are under pressure with our responsibilities and DEMANDS caring for our DC/Children.

Gilly3 just gave an option. She/he never made any demands on anyones privacy.

Jimmychasesangels · 26/01/2011 21:44

sorry but the sn board is very welcoming to "newbies" always has been.(I know cos I was one once)
but if you post on here or any where else you will get honest answers, which tbh is one of the good things about mn.
I posted with no idea if the op was new or not, I would have given the same response to someone who had been here for ever.

daisy5678 · 26/01/2011 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

daisy5678 · 26/01/2011 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

purplepidjin · 26/01/2011 21:50

"if i needed to know how to toilet train an 8 year old then i dont think i would be a fit person to be caring for them in the first place"

Truly frighteningly scarily ignorant comment. The SN of people on this board cross many issues. Including smearing due to sensory issues, lack of muscle control due to physical difficulty, and lack of physical ability to go to and sit on a toilet.

Would you say the same thing about an 80 year old person who had suffered a stroke? Tut and shake your head at the over-worked HCAs who have to change their pads every 2 hours? No, I don't think you would. You'd be burning with righteous anger over the appalling hours they're forced to work at little more than minimum wage.

gotchababe · 26/01/2011 21:51

It is not ones' place to be a Mentor, whilst it is not ones' place to be snipey.

We should all stick together and be supportive. Also when MN site did start is that not construed as A New ENTITY. So everyone was a Newbie at some point.Biscuit

Jimmychasesangels · 26/01/2011 22:03

blandblahblah why
you said it
put it out there.
so I reported a personal attack against me(not this one.......
so you post and hide , my identity is obvious, so who are you?

purplepidjin · 26/01/2011 22:05

Yes, gotcha, everyone was once new here. The difference is, the majority read a few threads, ask politely if they may have some advice, build online friendships with other posters in similar situations, offer support or advice whenever they can.

A few, and it has been a lot lately due to the press attention, barge in wearing hobnailed boots and assume that everyone will act like they want. Most people here have children, siblings or, in my case, residents, who treat them like that and therefore like to escape to this particulare section of MN an chat politely to like-minded individuals.

Have a virtual glass of wine, kick off your cyber shoes and make yourself comfortable learning from others, and letting them learn from you.

5inthebed · 26/01/2011 22:09

PP, you have put into words what I couldn't. Very well said.

gotchababe · 26/01/2011 22:19

Absolutely purplepidjin,

I would like to think that we all have some advice that others could use or relate to. Many of us, myself included never even knew this site existed until the Media attention.

My DS the trials and tribulations never stop from medical to LEA. I continuously fight and be proactive, it is deflating when no one listens to you.

So no one any right to be personal to anyone. We are all sharing the same plight.

purplepidjin · 26/01/2011 22:22

See? Much less aggressive Grin

Don't worry, you'll soon settle in Wink

gotchababe · 26/01/2011 22:30

pp

I am not aggressive at all. Just a very pro-active mum battling against the odds with all the beauracrats. As we all are.

Thanks for the comments. x

purplepidjin · 26/01/2011 22:32

I meant your posting style. And that of others. We're all in the same boat, let's not capsize ourselves, there's plenty of knobends outsiders trying to do that for us

coppertop · 26/01/2011 22:34

Did I really just read a post on the SN board saying that if you have an 8yr-old who isn't toilet-trained then you're not fit to be a parent???

And Peachy being accused of nastiness??

I feel as though I've just stepped into some bizarre parallel universe.

Peachy · 26/01/2011 22:53

Thans CT,

Tell me, how are you and your presumably delicious little one?

coppertop · 26/01/2011 22:58

I'm fine, thanks. :)

Dd2 is currently snoring on my knee after a feed.

Peachy · 26/01/2011 23:11

Aw i remember those days. DS4 is 3 in the Spring, but doing so well- really verbal; some sensory bits and we are careful becuase he ahs the same food issues that ds1 and ds3 does but doing OK.

good to see you back

donkeyderby · 26/01/2011 23:13

doricsue if you haven't left already, I'll just explain why your comment, "if i needed to know how to toilet train an 8 year old then i dont think i would be a fit person to be caring for them in the first place" is awful and offensive.

There are all sorts of people posting on here, who have children with all sorts of special needs, including those like my son, who have very severe learning disabilities. At 14, he is still not 'potty trained' as he has the mental age of a 2 year old and physical disabilities and a visual impairment to boot. I am a fit mother. Please don't post comments like that

This SN section has always been supportive until now. I hate the expression 'Newbie' as it implies some sort of division between them and people who have been on here for ages. A newbie can have as much knowledge as anyone else. Can we go back to being thoughtful and nice to each other?

coppertop · 26/01/2011 23:17

He can't be nearly 3! Shock It only feels like 5 minutes since he was born. Great to hear that he's doing well though.

Thanks for the welcome back too. :)

Peachy · 26/01/2011 23:18

here is the Chat version, the other thread is in SN somewhere.

Note the comment about the eugencists passing by: no wonder we were on edge reallly! hardly surprising battling that.

MN SN can be great but it takes time to settle after a shake up: hang around and I think you will find that. It is a learning curve though, for all.

Someone mentioned my first MN experience and I can remember it now: there wasn't quite the set up now, sn separate and all, it was 2001 and tiny. I was posting abut my 18 month olds behaviour and little has changed (!). I got a flaming in a breastfeeding thread (and I now know I was right- technical stuff) and ran, scared. Took me months to return.

But I am largely glad I did.

coppertop · 26/01/2011 23:19

x-posted donkeyderby.

Definitely agree that the board should be supportive.

donkeyderby · 26/01/2011 23:20

I joined when Mumsnet was brand new. They kept sending me emails about what my child should be doing at a certain age and I ran a mile. For years. Found it again by chance via the Ouch! website

Peachy · 26/01/2011 23:24

Ooh they can hurt can't they?
Those e-mails.

And becuase ds1 is so verbal now ds4 can talk well I worry about that PMSL: we couldn;t actually win, what with ds3's delayeds development.

In fact tomorrow I have a meeting with SLT: they have decided my little 7 year old Autistic kids can now speak if he wishes but chooses not to. Now speak is in an ASD format of course- do you know ben ten i like ben ten have you seen my ben ten game i know why he's called ben ten its becuase he has ten aliens and was ten when he became ben ten etc etc etc. And he's hard to understand, too- with scarring on his face he would be.

Choice my arse.

Jimmychasesangels · 26/01/2011 23:42

BYE BYE SN TOPIC the name changers(I do know who youa re ) have one, I surrender, have it, slag one and all off and enjoy.