non verbal communicator?

[pantspantspants]

hi, my DD2 20 months has just seen a speech therapist for the first time today who, with the help of her other consultants have decided she is a non verbal communicator and needs special help and observing to monitor this. But I really feel she is trying to communicate and these extra hospital appointments aren't needed at the moment and she's too young to be labeled as this.

Background; my DD2 isn't easy to communicate with doesn't like being held, looked at, doesn't cope well with noise, doesn't like new people, struggles when we go out ( shes ok if I have the hood right down on the pushchair and her ears are covered with a hat) only likes shape sorting toys and 3 books. She has only just started to pull her self up.

So basically these extra appointments are difficult for us and she doesn't respond well to them because she doesn't like them or their toys. Would it be bad if I asked not carry on with these appointments until I feel her non communication was a problem or would they think I was a bad mother who didn't care? I think they are thinking that she may be autistic (they haven't said so, but the signs are there) so are using these appointments to diagnose her, but I don't see a benefit out of labelling her as I couldn't change her routine even if she is. so delaying the appointments wouldn't change things.

so really my question is, is 20 months too early for these types of appointments and would it matter if I stopped them?

I'm no expert whatsoever on this, but if the appointments cause too much disruption to your dd then your opinion counts, surely.... would it be possible for you to learn Makaton (it's not hard, I promise) or get a SALT to come to your house, or something? Surely there are more ways around this than you trudging to appointment after appointment. As you say, you know her best and you recognise her needs, from what you say it does sound like she's on the spectrum but although early diagnosis can get you on the right track for early years education (with statement and so on, which will basically equal the right kind of support for her in whatever education you choose for her needs) if you don't want to go rushing there yet and a few months might help her and you, then explain where you're at. Weigh up your options and see if it can be done in a way that is more fitting with your family's needs atm (not that I'm saying it can for sure, just that it would be worth asking some questions!). Good luck.

I would say these appointments are really important, early intervention is the key and you are very fortunate to be offered support so soon without a fight. IMO communication is THE most vital skill, it is a skill your dd will have to have to get even the most basic needs met such as getting a drink or something to eat or to go to the toilet even more important than walking.
As a parent of two children with autism, the label doesn't define who they are but it does ensure that the specialist services they need, they get because these services are scarce and the diagnosis means they have an entitlement.
I can't urge you more strongly to keep up with the SALT appointments,please speak to the SALT let her reassure you that they are important and that you should persevere even if dd doesn't appear to enjoy them for now.
My dd was just the same but had I not persevered she wouldn't be the happy chatty little girl she is today and I didn't want her silent and closed off from the world.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Let-Me-Hear-Your-Voice/dp/0709063466 This book will help you realise how important communication is and might even give you ideas on how you can encourage your dd's communication skills.

This book sorry my link has failed.

Hi - I agree with asdx2 - my ds has been having slt since he was 11 months and I kept thinking this is far too early. They were also telling me things about what his progress would likely to be again I was thinking they can't possibly know this. But they were right! The slt is so important not just for your LO but also for you, you will learn a lot! I was missing many communication cues because I was expecting too much now I can pick up on lots of things.

Hi. DS was referred for SALT at 18 months but he didn't actually get any real help from them until he was 3! He is now 6 and still almost completely non-verbal. I really feel that the early intervention would have been a huge help! He is improving massively since starting quite intensive SLT when he started school. Our SLT (when we eventually got her) visited DS at home which was good for him as he also struggled with going out, new things etc. It was good for him to be in his own surroundings IYSWIM. Can you see if this is an option for you?

Hi Pants - Could you ask to take a break from the appointments for say 4-6 months? Explain to the SLT how you feel that your daughter is not gaining anything from the sessions. Or would they be willing for you to bring your daughters toys to the sessions as she may interact better with familiar toys. We did speech sessions and I did take things that motivated my daughter (mostly biscuits .
My daughter used to cry so much when I took her to toddler groups and other peoples houses that I just stopped going to these places in the end as it was too stressful so I do understand your situation.
I agreee that early intervention is best but I think it has to be done on a regular basis. If you are just getting appointments through every few weeks it probably isn't any benefit. This is just my own personal opinion though. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Thanks for your replies, sorry for not posting sooner, its been a challenging few days!
Its good to see that this is an appropriate age to start speech therapy and I think i'll ring her to discuss the disaster that was our first appointment and see if she can come to our house to do it where she is more settled with things she knows
also ordered that book thanks