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Original poster

pissed off. really really pissed off.

47 replies

HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:13

My eldest has just come home from school (is currently eating his dinner and I am surplus to requirements Grin ).

On thursday we got a letter home, notifying us of a pe day at another school, asking us to provide a pe kit, packed lunch and £2.50 towards the coach.

I did so. I also prepared my son for the day, going through what, according to the letter, he would be doing.

He came home today and is very stressed. He didn't go on this school trip.

He went, with a few other children who "have autism like me" to what he called "a day centre."

Shock

WTF?!

I have phoned the senco, she's not available and is going to call me back.

Am I unreasonable to be so pissed off by this.

1 - they sent home a letter about a school trip and I went out and bought stuff for it! and paid the amount requested.

2 - he didn't go on this trip, something I had no clue about. all today I thought I knew where he was!

3 - I prepared him for one type of day and it was totally different, which stressed him out.

4 - his TA wasn't available in the afternoon when he got back to school - they didn't know he wasn't on this trip!

5 - I don't see why my son should go to a fucking day centre while his peers go to a fun day at another school, without so much as talking to me about it.

6 - I have no intention of my son growing up into a man who spends his life at day centres. He is not going to spend his adult life weaving fucking baskets. I hate day centre mentality with a passion. (by that I mean the attitude of 'professionals'.)

Thoughts please?

I really like the school and the senco. I don't want to fight them, but I am really pissed off.

OP posts:
mompa · 24/01/2011 16:17

I would be extremely upset by this also. Poor communication by the school at best. I hope you get an explanation and apology. I really feel for you and your son.

ouryve · 24/01/2011 16:17

You're right to be livid. If he was going to be doing something different form the other kids, they should at the very least have told you about it instead of putting you to so much inconvenience (and having you spend money) for nothing. It's pretty inconsiderate of them in so many ways.

superfantastic · 24/01/2011 16:18

I would be furious! Id talk directly to the head teacher, surely that breaks so many rules...not to mention how offensive and upsetting for SN DCs. Totally Shock

ginnybag · 24/01/2011 16:20

Uh, straight off, and forgetting any issues of anything other than school-parent communication, they've cocked up big time.

They've taken your child on a trip for which they did have consent.

You'd consented for the other trip. Not this.

That's a big oops.

I'd start with that, and see what they say.

ginnybag · 24/01/2011 16:20

Sorry that should have been *did NOT have consent.

Original poster
HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:26

very good points all.

I am waiting for a call back.

I am very disappointed. I don't want my son segregated. If I wanted him surrounded only by other children with autism and taken to day centres and stuff - I wouldn't have him in mainstream! He doesn't need or want this treatment.

OP posts:
sanitywouldbenice · 24/01/2011 16:27

disability discrimination springs to mine - might shake a few people into action if you mention it.

Triggles · 24/01/2011 16:28

I have to agree that this was handled very badly. Obviously you felt that he was fine going on this school trip, and unless they had specific concerns (which they then should have voiced to you prior to the trip), they should have included him on the trip. I'd be furious as well.

asdx2 · 24/01/2011 16:32

OMG I would hope the school is feeling very afraid because they have messed up big time. Put it in writing and ensure they respond in writing.Bloody astounded tbh

c0rn5i1k123 · 24/01/2011 16:34

absolutely disgusting
am Angry on your behalf

Original poster
HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:35

yes. He has full time 1:1 support, so I have no supervision concerns at any time. The trip sounded fine - a day doing various activities.

They sent the form home, I sent back the signed consent form and the money.

So at what point did they decide he wasn't going? I don't understand.

And I don't like the fact that I didn't know where he was. I didn't know that I didn't know Grin but I am not happy about it.

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 24/01/2011 16:35

i'd be furious. put all you concerns in writing and let them knw you will be getting a written reply.

c0rn5i1k123 · 24/01/2011 16:36

so what happened to his TA as well?

Thecarrotcake · 24/01/2011 16:37

Hope the return call goes well.

I would be livid too.

missworld2010 · 24/01/2011 16:41

I am shocked by this, I would be livid too!! Don't forget to write it all down... I think even if they had told you about this 'other' trip it wouldn't have been acceptable - as you say, it's mainstream, the idea is not to segregate. I'm almost speechless. Has the school been good otherwise (not that it excuses it, was just wondering!!)?

Original poster
HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:41

He had a ta with him at this 'day centre' he says.

He works with a small group of TAs, each one takes different subjects. He was unsupported in german he tells me.

From what I can gather, this is because they didn't have a clue what was going on.

This is not the first time he has been unsupported in a lesson because there has been a cover cock-up. It distresses him greatly, he needs his support.

OP posts:
c0rn5i1k123 · 24/01/2011 16:42

that's just awful -poor lad

Original poster
HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:45

oh yes, the school is really good. Well, apart from this. I think it is an admin failure generally, perhaps.

I just fear that he is being pushed into being with the other 'disabled' kids.

I've seen it before and I hate it.

This 'shove all children with disabilities together because disabled is disabled' attitude.

I don't see what a child with downs syndrome has in common with a child with autism and a child in a wheelchair and a deaf child...

They don't form a 'group', iyswim. well, imo.

OP posts:
asdx2 · 24/01/2011 16:47

Is this Primary or Secondary Hecate? As you are in Derbyshire I would liberally quote discrimination, duty of care and risk assessment to the LEA as they seem to listen carefully when those words are mentioned Wink.

Original poster
HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:49

Secondary. And I am very disappointed because this school is generally really really good.

OP posts:
bigcar · 24/01/2011 16:54

that's dreadful Shock they've got some explaining to do!

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 24/01/2011 16:57

Absolutely right to be livid on all counts

newlife4us · 24/01/2011 17:10

It sounds like you generally have a good relationship with the school, which is good. I would write a letter to the head citing inclusion, disability discrimination, non-consent to the alternative trip and lack of communication and request a meeting to discuss the issues.

I am really sorry for you and your DS that this has happened. I could understand him not being allowed on the trip if it was for safety reasons. My daughter is an uncontrolled epileptic and a bike ride, for example, would be unsafe for her. It doesn't sound, in your case, that there was any legitimate reason for the exclusion from the trip. Ask for answers and they will think twice about repeating the situation. It is likely that the parents of the other children concerned will be reacting similarly, so I doubt you'll be the only one with a complaint!

WHAThisFlappinNotFlyin · 24/01/2011 17:31

That takes The piss,it's interesting reading this thinking is this the kind of piss taking my son has to look forward too,why not take him to play with everyone else if he was happy to do so?

pinkorkid · 24/01/2011 17:56

Link here to circumstances in which you can appeal to first tier tribuanl re disability discrimination

www.sendist.gov.uk/Documents/FormsGuidance/ForParents/DisabilityDiscriminationInSchools_Sept10.pdf

It specifically says it covers all aspects of school life including trips. Even if they had a legitimate reason for excluding him, no excuse for not informing you up front.