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SN children

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Original poster

pissed off. really really pissed off.

47 replies

HecateQueenOfWitches · 24/01/2011 16:13

My eldest has just come home from school (is currently eating his dinner and I am surplus to requirements ).

On thursday we got a letter home, notifying us of a pe day at another school, asking us to provide a pe kit, packed lunch and £2.50 towards the coach.

I did so. I also prepared my son for the day, going through what, according to the letter, he would be doing.

He came home today and is very stressed. He didn't go on this school trip.

He went, with a few other children who "have autism like me" to what he called "a day centre."

WTF?!

I have phoned the senco, she's not available and is going to call me back.

Am I unreasonable to be so pissed off by this.

1 - they sent home a letter about a school trip and I went out and bought stuff for it! and paid the amount requested.

2 - he didn't go on this trip, something I had no clue about. all today I thought I knew where he was!

3 - I prepared him for one type of day and it was totally different, which stressed him out.

4 - his TA wasn't available in the afternoon when he got back to school - they didn't know he wasn't on this trip!

5 - I don't see why my son should go to a fucking day centre while his peers go to a fun day at another school, without so much as talking to me about it.

6 - I have no intention of my son growing up into a man who spends his life at day centres. He is not going to spend his adult life weaving fucking baskets. I hate day centre mentality with a passion. (by that I mean the attitude of 'professionals'.)

Thoughts please?

I really like the school and the senco. I don't want to fight them, but I am really pissed off.

OP posts:

Dameednabeverage · 24/01/2011 18:00

I would be really pissed off about this too Hec. Not sure how they'll be able to explain this one!

Willmum · 24/01/2011 19:19

Thats really pretty appauling. I would be furious too. I know myself I have taken kids on trips, the last one was a few 6th formers and the forms you have to fill in are very detailed. There is absolutly no way he should have been anywhere other than where you gave consent for him to be.
Purely from a health and safety point of view this was a dreadful mistake. I'd almost be tempted to take it above the head to the lea, it's really bad practice and thats without dealing with all the other issues. Truely shocking!

auntevil · 24/01/2011 19:38

Willmum's right. The school would have had to have done a risk assessment for this trip. When was it decided that he and the others that were denied this trip, could not go on this trip, and for what reason. When was the 'other' risk assessment done for taking them to the day centre? Was this done with enough time to have let you know and to have been advised?
Monumental cock-up sums it up perfectly.

Machakos · 24/01/2011 21:41

As part of the risk assessment you (as the person filling out the risk assessment) have to say that you have parental permission for this trip. There's no way your child should be anywhere that you, as the parent, don't know about and haven't given permission for.

zzzzz · 24/01/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

intothewest · 24/01/2011 22:29

I would be very angry and upset by this- particularly that you did NOT give your consent for him to go to a day centre-you gave consent for him to go on the school trip-

major communication failure-WHY did he not go on the trip-WHEN did they decide he was not going- Ask all the questions in writing and insist on a written reply- It seems so bad especially as you say the school is generally good,

talkingnonsense · 25/01/2011 10:44

How the hell have they defended this decision? I hope you are okay.

Original poster

HecateQueenOfWitches · 25/01/2011 10:47

sorry sorry sorry

It was not a whole school trip, it was a trip for the kids with sn within the school (which was not made clear in the letter!). It was to a school but there were a lot of children with sn there. They have no idea where he got the words "day centre" from.

He didn't change into his pe for some reason and there wasn't much pe as in exercise, more games and stuff.

They don't know why his ta wasn't aware he would be coming back for halfway through that lesson, but will make sure it doesn't happen again.

So really not the 'peel me off the ceiling' situation I thought. which is good because, like I said, it's a really good school.

This is what happens when I attempt to get information from my son

Whoopsie. Sorry.

OP posts:

Original poster

HecateQueenOfWitches · 25/01/2011 10:49

I feel really stupid and also mean about ranting about the school unfairly.

I suppose it is no defence to say that, as you all know, we fight fight fight everyone and even when things are going well, we're waiting for the next time we have to strap on the gloves

Not that I have ever had to strap on gloves with this school! I'm talking about past experiences.

Oh dear.

OP posts:

talkingnonsense · 25/01/2011 10:49

Am glad it wasn't too awful. They need to check their communications though!

5inthebed · 25/01/2011 11:33

Glad it wasn't what you first thought happened.

I would have been fuming as well though. DS2s TA alreadythings I'm a neaurotic mother.

5inthebed · 25/01/2011 11:33

already thinks

bigcar · 25/01/2011 12:00

what a relief eh?! pleased it turned out to be miscommunication and nothing serious.

asdx2 · 25/01/2011 12:22

Oh that is good news I'm so relieved for you
I'm just the same though expect there to be a battle or for them to have messed up (even though they haven't yet) and throw in ds's miscommunication and on go the gloves.
Glad it's all sorted.

cornsilk · 25/01/2011 12:26

lol hecate - all's well that ends well

zzzzz · 25/01/2011 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unpa1dcar3r · 25/01/2011 16:58

HQOW
I am absolutely furious for you too. This is appalling and terribly bad form, your sons school clearly know nothing about autism for one thing. If they did they wouldn't plan one thing for them and then change that plan just like that!
How bloody dare they!
And this is what is known officially as Inclusion!!!!!!!!!!!! Inclusion my arse!

This is blatant segregation.
Grrrrrrr

My 2 boys go to SEN school as they are severely disabled. Not one child is discluded from anything planned at their school. There are some kiddies who have life limiting conditions, very poorly, relaiant completely on others etc, They get included in everything the same as the more physically able kids and the severely learning disabled like my two boys.
Now that is what I would call inclusion.
Not your son being cast aside and demeaned in this dreadful way cos what? He has frigging autism????? So what, does this mean he isn't entitled to enjoy himself with his class peers?
Mate i would be totally raging and I would not let them get away with it either. Take it to the highest authority, the head of SEN at your local auth for starters, and if no joy there (bog standard generic letter of reply full of crappy excuses) take it higher. Go to what's his name...education secretary. Oh damn I forget his name but you can google it.
This is terrible behaviour on their part and smacks of lack of concern, regard and most definately knowledge about your son and his needs.

unpa1dcar3r · 25/01/2011 17:01

Haha i've just read your other posting- well there you go, me seeing redf at initial posting and not reading further! oops a daisy

Original poster

HecateQueenOfWitches · 25/01/2011 17:07

Yes. That's pretty much what I did. I bet you had to be peeled off the ceiling just then, didn't you

No, no home-school book for him, although my youngest who is still in primary has got one.

I am glad it turned out to be nothing like he'd said. I feel a right prat though

OP posts:

unpa1dcar3r · 25/01/2011 18:21

Aw well I'm also a prat right there with you!

My boys have home school books (they're 12 and 14 almost) but they don't write in them everyday and the times our younger son comes home with tall tales.
He uses one word sentences and he came home one day saying he couldn't go swimming the next day. Upon querying why this is basically what he said:
'Jorden' 'punched' 'kicked' 'Michael' 'kickedhim' 'hatehim' 'back' 'broke''killed him'
so I replied 'well yes if you killed Jorden i can understand why you can't go swimming' so from this I ascertained that Jorden had hit son and 'michael' and therefore son had punched and kicked jorden, broke his back and then killed him.
completely mystified I was. Anyway I had to go up the school the next day so asked the teacher if they'd been some sort of altercation between my son, Michael and this Jorden because son said he'd ended up killing Jorden. No she said, Jordens a very placid boy, nothing at all happened. And yes son was allowed to go swimming too as he'd been a very good boy!!!!!!!

unfitmother · 25/01/2011 18:26

Glad it wasn't as bad as it sounded! [bgrin]

wendihouse22 · 25/01/2011 18:31

This is all wrong!!!

Discrimination? Not informing you of the change of event, not preparing your son for the change of event? They have some major apologies to make.

Let us know what this SENCO has to offer by way of an explanation, would you?

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