Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

If ABA was free, would you do it for a 3 year old?

86 replies

missworld2010 · 19/01/2011 23:31

Or, hypothetically speaking, if you had been given enough money to cover the cost of doing it for a year, would you? Or anything else?

Not sure I've read enough about it, but am worried that we're not doing it, and that every day is a wasted one with very little intervention. Our DD wil be 4 in June and has just started a mainstream nursery where first few days have gone very well, but I can already see the behaviour sliding and am v concerned for the future...

:(

OP posts:
Phineasandferb · 21/01/2011 08:23

I'm not the one in the bubble by the sounds of it.

To dismiss all research in favour of a few stories of people you know doesn't make any sense

It's like saying I know some people who had stillbirths in hospital therefore all babies born in hospital will not survive

Herdy82sa1 · 21/01/2011 08:25

Hi Missworld,

Where are you located? I may or may not be able to recommend someone in your area.

Robert Schramm is presenting an introductory and intermediate level course to ABA based on his book 'Educate towards recovery' My colleague is hosting it. It is in March. If you would like more information please let me know or I can post it here for anyone else interested.

Does your daughter speak? How many words? Are these functional words and are they clear to understand if she was talking to someone who did not know her well? Only I have found Talk Tools to be fantastic also, but it depends on what your child needs.

Lynsey

electra · 21/01/2011 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raven666 · 21/01/2011 11:59

in my expereince within my own life i have not seen a significant improvement above any other therapy .

i am not spouting misimformation i speak of 4 year observing a very close family go through this therapy and many others total cost was £100, 000 yes you read that correct ! luckily for them bank of mummy helped to pay off morgage and fund endless trails etc
forgive me if i am wrong but i thought it was about the child improving and i have not seen this .
i am not saying that does not work but i am saying what i have witnessed has not impressed me.

one example would be the child could say name a hundred animals big wow! personally i would settle for my kids throwing their arms around me and laughing.
which mine do every day

for me its not about fitting in its about feeling love and affection .
perhaps you find me coming on here and voicing my own experience not to your liking but i cant change that

would you prefer me to lie ?
like i have said in my earlier posts i believe there are elements good and bad in every teaching method.
no method is the total answer as all children are different.
as parents we do our best that is all we have no parent wants to hinder progress but neither is one way the only aba is just another therapy.
albeit a very expensive one with poor results for all its cracked up to be .
for those who are doing this i wish them well but please just because i happen to disagree do not tell me i have no right .
aba is not gospel combination of different methods i believe help children that and common sense sadly lacking in the world

raven666 · 21/01/2011 12:37

you will all be pleased to hear from my very brief time on mumsnet
i have decided to leave its feels like i have to tread on egg shells when speaking my thoughts.
i only came on here to speak up for riven on my local radio and the plight of other families living with disabilites .
good luck to all of you with your children and your chossen route may they all flourish
ta ta

electra · 21/01/2011 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Voodoobollox · 21/01/2011 13:05

Ta Ta

My DS is ludicrously affectionate but FWIW I firmly believe that it's NOT all about the child. It's also about the adult which they are going to become, and spend the great majority of their life being.

I'm not always going to be around and so I am doing my utmost to get DS learning to communicate as that's what will help his life chances most of all when he is grown. A lovely cuddly child is wonderful but try and imagine the same child at 25. And having to be looked after by others after you've gone, awful as it is

IndigoBell · 21/01/2011 13:53

Raven - please stay. We do welcome diverse opinions here. It's very important to get a mix of opinions and viewpoints.

Yes, some people have been forthright with their opinions - like you have. But stay a bit longer, join in some other threads, I'm sure you'll enjoy it more when you've been here longer, and you've got used to all of us.

Yes, this board tends to be pro-ABA. And I was absolutely toasted for disagreeing with Star's proposed IEP. But both me and Star learnt from the exchange. And we're still friends.

On other threads however I have received hugely valuable advice. And I've made good friends. And I hope I have also given good advice - or at least support.

We have all had some really negative posts made about us. But we have also all learnt an awful lot.

If we didn't disagree with each other this board would be neither fun nor useful.

sickofsocalledexperts · 21/01/2011 13:57

Voodoo bollox makes a valid point. If, instead of calling it ABA, you were to say "it is a good idea to work hard with an autistic child, particularly when they are young and the brain is still developing , on their social and communication skills, using things they find fun in order to motivate them to work, and making it far less rewarding for them to demonstrate bad anti-social behaviours" - then I don't think many people would argue with that? But one bad ABA provider doesn't make it all bad - it's like saying you 'd never go to a GP, after Dr Shipman killed all those pensioners!

StartingAfresh · 21/01/2011 17:43

Raven

'in my expereince within my own life i have not seen a significant improvement above any other therapy'

That is a perfectly okay thing to say. However it doesn't mean that ABA doesn't work.

'i am not spouting misimformation i speak of 4 year observing a very close family go through this therapy and many others total cost was £100, 000 yes you read that correct ! luckily for them bank of mummy helped to pay off morgage and fund endless trails etc'

You see this is why I really don't think you know what ABA is. It is an approach, not something you need to throw money at. Money doesn't teach children skills.

'forgive me if i am wrong but i thought it was about the child improving and i have not seen this. i am not saying that does not work but i am saying what i have witnessed has not impressed me.'

This is the same as saying it doesn't work isn't it? I don't know if you had a mad rougue trader in your area charging a bomb or what on earth was going on, but you quite clearly have not seen a proper ABA programme.

'one example would be the child could say name a hundred animals big wow! personally i would settle for my kids throwing their arms around me and laughing. which mine do every day'

Again, I'm not really sure what you mean. My ds engages, smiles at me and even uses body language to communicate. He doesn't know many animals because they don't interest him however if he did we would have used that to hook other essential skills onto which meant that learning another animal would have been his reward for, say holding a pencil correctly, consequently he will eventually learn hundreds.

'for me its not about fitting in its about feeling love and affection'

How can a child feel love and affection if they are sitting under the table spinning all day, getting anxious when anyone tries to get their attention? 'Fitting in' is a part of socialisation and a tool with which to seek love and affection.

'perhaps you find me coming on here and voicing my own experience not to your liking but i cant change that'

I doubt sincerely that anyone minds you coming on here and voicing your experiences. But if you are going to extrapolate from your experiences and give advice based on feelings rather than facts it is reasonable for them to be challenged.

'like i have said in my earlier posts i believe there are elements good and bad in every teaching method'

No. Some teaching methods are truly appalling. Not all teaching methods are equal.

'no method is the total answer as all children are different.'

ABA is individualised to the child. The 'method' is quite irrelevant provided it works and you can provide EVIDENCE of this and are clear what your definition of 'working' is.

'as parents we do our best that is all we have no parent wants to hinder progress but neither is one way the only aba is just another therapy.'

Sure. But you need then to be careful that you give facts not opinions to a poster looking for answers.

'albeit a very expensive one with poor results for all its cracked up to be.

It can cost nothing and I would absolutely concur that if you see no results there is something very very wrong with the teaching (NOT ABA)

for those who are doing this i wish them well but please just because i happen to disagree do not tell me i have no right.

You have a right to disagree to anything, but it isn't helpful to have no reason except for your own personal feelings, without being able to justify your reasons using evidence and concrete examples such as the actual provider that delivered the ABA that you feel was so awful. This would have also been helpful to the OP in order to make sure she could avoid them.

'aba is not gospel combination of different methods i believe help children that and common sense sadly lacking in the world'

Okay, so what if one approach was to shout for 5 minutes at bad behaviour and another was to completely ignore it? How would combining these two approaches be better than one?

StartingAfresh · 21/01/2011 17:53

'Any of you out there who think i am talking rubbish about realtionship breakdowns

well get out of your bubble to deny the strain asd puts on a family is to live a lie'

Nobody is saying that asd doesn't put a strain on your family. What people are saying that it isn't (usually) ABA that puts a strain on a family and often it takes pressure away.

'just because i challenged this therapy'

But you haven't challenged it. You have just said you don't agree with it and then ranted on about misconceptions and inaccuracies. There ARE some credible challenges to it, but you haven't raised these.

'i suggest that some of you need to respect that others have their own views on the so called merits of this therapy'

There are plenty of people on this board with a variety of views, some conflicting. I have never found respect to be a problem.

I don't think it is now. You are respected for your opinion, but you are being challenged on it because you have given some misinformation to a 'vulnerable' OP that needs some FACTs to make some difficult decisions.

It isn't personal at all. Most of us have been challenged for having opinions or misinformation or misunderstanding. Sometimes it can get a bit heated, but we will go away for a few days, lick our wounds and come back.

I hope you do. I apologise that I have contributed to you feeling the need to leave, because it is a shame, but it would also be a shame to let some of the things that you have got wrong about ABA to have gone unchallenged. Do come back.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page