Things you want to say but can't...

[Spinkle]

Thought it might be necessary useful for our poor beleagured mental health to have a thread where we could just unload. Don't need a back story.

Just the things you want to say but can't. Bad language too, if it makes you feel better,

Here's mine.

No, I do not wish to watch Chicken Run again I would rather eat my own head.

You are an evil woman Miss Social Worker and I hope you get stressed with the job, and your GP diagnoses your wrongly with a personality disorder, refused a second opinion and subsequently blamed for every wrong in your life caused by other people!

I don't care if you don't want to draw attention to my child's difficulties by not ensuring he actually sits on the toilet at lunch time to do a poo. Shall I bring him round to your house in his pooey pants for you to clean up instead when you get home??!!

Please ds, just for once, can you email me with something positive about your day in school?
The new LSA I know ds is better than you at maths but you are most likely better than him at English and Science. Instead of sitting there whilst he does the maths homework could you suggest that you help him with the English and Science homework instead. You should be supporting him not watching him do maths and getting him to show you how!
His more preferred LSA please, please, please come back to work ds is not impressed by the new one and you can jolly him along and share his jokes like no other. I know it's only been one day, I know you are most likely in pain but we miss you.

To another 'proffesional'
I do hope you sleep well at night knowing the amount of lies you spouted to the ss, I knew it and so did they! All you succeeded in doing was putting ds's dx on hold while you rambled on about parenting strategies... Of which I have way more.. And that are suitable for my son!
The stress that you then caused by your stirring little ways caused far more harm than anything else.. I do hope you were pleased with yourself!
Oh and I hope you enjoyed my parental how did we do comments that I sent to your boss.. And btw when you pass me in the street pretending you don't see me and using that ' my neck doesn't work thing' it fills me with such joy!

And to ds ... Please stop moaning about what's for dinner.. I choose foods you like.. I cook them with care and make sure it's all seperate on your plate.. I don't need a ' ooh yummy' but can't you stop snorting and sneering like it's dog poo!

And while your at it.. Would you mind coming out of scho today in a reasonable mood.. It's never been the fault of me or dd or ds1 if you've had a bad day.. And we are trying to help you!

You know, I always expected to received ignorant comments from strangers in public places about the lads, but I never have. Might be thousands of funny looks, but generally speaking people either don't notice, or realise and are fine about things. So why is it that the utter jawdropping ignorant comments I HAVE encountered regarding my son come from you, a professional?

Stop telling me DD is making good progress. She is not!

Stop telling me to just trust you and let you get on with your job.

If you are unable to tell me what you are doing, then I most definately don't trust you.

Look, it's not that I don't want to do your dot to dot pictures as such. It's just that you don't understand that dot to dots generally don't go: join numbers one to two to three to four to draw in the set of wheels or the legs of which there are absolutely no indications of, to continuing to draw to five to six etc.

I did say to my auntie today 'no, I do not need a lesson in parenting!'

Something I say all the time and unfortunately DID say to a doctor at work (forgetting I wasn't at home)

'Do you need a wee? Well STOP JIGGING!'

Things I want to say...

'If you don't stop chewing clothes, cushions, bed linen, etc I promise I will staple your mouth together.'

'If you growl at me one more time I am going to start feeding you off the floor'

'I have no idea how [random item] works, is made, what it has in and no I have no idea of the finer details of it and even if I did I couldn't possibly spend 25 mins discussing, well I could and do frequently but I really, really dont give a toss about it and would rather eat vomit than talk about it anymore!'

To ex school / childminder / nursery / various others

'I am very aware that you don't like my child and that you wonder if it isn't just me that were causing the problems you had interacting with my son... well perhaps you should look around you and consider that yes I may well be a single parent but I certainly am not the worst parent in world. Actually you FAILED him and decided to demonise a small child in order to hide your own inadequacies'

To all the yummy mummy's in the world who's children are learning their 3rd language at 4yrs, have glowing reports, etc:

'yeah well my son hasn't assaulted anyone all week and believe me that is much more of an achievement than Tarquin's fucking swimming certificate!'

I could go on all night!

'

Did you fly to work on your broomstick or are you too stupid to even manage to get THAT to do as you ask?

HA! all the other professionals (that actually know ds) disagree with you, and I've told loads of people about the awful stuff I've discovered about the school, and they all think you are crap. and he isn't coming to your school COS YOU ARE RUBBISH!!!!! he is going somewhere good.

Ha ha ha (signand smile dancing round the room flicking v signs at the stupid SENCO, who has face like cats bum)

It's that feeling of guilty pleasure I got at writing that...

Oh and I owned that wankard of a Headteacher today.

Twunt.

Me - 'Just off out for a bit'
Dh - 'When will you be back?'
Me - 'Next week'

Why can't I get it across to you professionals the importance of ds learning to communicate? And no, it is not all right to stop teaching him to communicate till he stops hitting/kicking etc as psychologist said these behaviours are usually follow upsurge of ability and might be caused by frustration. In facat, he is kicking because he is frustrated by his inability to communicate!

Just tell me WHAT you need to see for yourself, and I'll arrange it, video it and give you an annoted transcript.

Please stop hitting and yelling at each other it doesn't work, your both as selfish as each other.

For once could someone pleas just do something because it bookend needs doing and NOT because I had to ask, yell or cry about it.

And yes I have a breaking point And I reached at six months ago!!!

Oh yes. Now you want to meet about his IEP. He's been in your school for 2 years, btw.

I notice you're all keen on this since I had a go yesterday.....hmm, I wonder if you now realise I know what I'm on about and yes, you'd better start jumping about then.

However, do not expect me to 'pop in' today to sort it out. You need to make an appointment with me.

And sorry, I am busy today as I'm having my first free day from the beginning of December.

Please please please don't give me a negative answer to e v e r y t h i n g - only to contradict it two minutes later. Why can't you just say "yes" straight away. Why do you have to wait for me to carry the thing out of the room before you can agree with me that you actually DO want it. Why do you have to cry your eyes out and make me feel rotten guilty if I don't follow the routine for you.
Why can't you tell me WHY.