PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST - LEAKS

[WetAugust]

Some of the information posted on here recently has found it's way on to the Times educational Supplement website without the OP's permission.

Other information has been used to identify a professional that is involved with the child of a parent on here - again without the OP's consent.

PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST.

I have reported both incidents to MNHQ.

I hope they take action.

MEANWHILE - PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

From my perspective, what i put on here is the truth. If i were ever 'outed' and one of the professionals involved were to approach me, i would say the same. The fact is that many professionals don't explain what they say, leave more questions than they answer and leave much of the real hard slog to us. The SN board has given me ideas, a stronger backbone and a sense of perspective. Maybe more 'professionals' should lurk - they might just learn something!

auntevil... veyr very good points.

please lets not stoop to slagging of people english or grammar

Amen indeed. And it's worth noting that people often post about the good appointments and experiences too. All we want to do is make sure our DC's are getting the best care and that we understand as much as we can about the help they are entitled to.

Interestingly, or not as the case may be, I wasn't criticising or even suggestion I had had a 'bad' appointment. Just that some new info had been given to me and I was eager to get people's knowledge or experience of it.

bubbles, hard to work out how they figured out who you were can't have been great for you even if it was nothing bad, hope it hasn't thrown you too much. I would hope it was a regular mner that just out of professional curiosity forwarded something that caught their eye as being interesting rather than because they saw a connection between you and the ep iyswim.

I know the tes link didn't mention mn but another sn poster shouldn't be posting anything about someone else without having spoken to them first, it's common courtesy. I know this is the age of t'interweb and all and everything here is open for the whole world to see but generally this is a place where we feel among friends and at least are able to trust each other and the advice given, more so than on the rest of mn. It would be horrible if, because of the occasional poster, we lost the ability to learn from each others experiences because you weren't sure of someones judgement or intention.

this is starting the turn into a quiche thread.

Unfortunately it seems so safe here it is horrid to be reminded that it is not private. We had this issue several years ago when 2 MNSNers were CATd by someone who had Googled a SN problem, come up with MN posts, joined and contacted them privately for advice. Maybe it was innocent but it was unacceptable and made the MN members feel very vulnerable. We do need to remember that MN is not private and can be accessed and googled by anyone anywhere in the world. Most of the time MN works well as our happy community but it is just as well to be aware of what can happen.

Hum. What is the problem with the TES post? Is it that the family/school could be identified from the info given? Or is it that people are discussing things from this forum on another forum?

The first is a genuine issue, and I guess the poster should have made more effort to make the question generic; TES is very popular with teachers so the risk of someone either at the school or knowing the grandparents reading it is higher.

The second - to be honest I don't understand this "problem" at all. This forum is a conversation, not a police state, and normal conversation rules apply. In normal conversation, you expect things you say to a friend to be discussed later with husbands, other friends etc. You expect the person you talk to to use a degree of common sense about revealing personal details, and you'd expect them to represent you fairly - but if what you say is not for public consumption, then you make that clear at the outset. Unless you say: "look this is just between us, OK?" there's no reason to keep it secret and I don't see how putting the conversation on the internet changes the rules.

Do you not think its a bit rude r3dh3d to do so re the mumsnet/TES issue. I do.

'normal conversation rules apply'

Mmmm, I think the problem is here isn't it? This is not a normal conversation. You wouldn't have a 'normal coversation' with someone and then go and publish it in a magazine or speak about it at a public meeting. This is closer as an analogy to the TES issue than the idea of discussing the topic in a discreet chat in private between two people.

We probably all chat to partners and friends about mumsnet but we would not necessarily write to a newspaper or speak in public about another's problems without asking them first.

I think there is kind of an assumption that this is a 'safe space' although it is public. That may be naive but it is the way we have always posted to each other and may be we should be aware that others see it differently.

I think if we have to start spelling out that this is "just between us" then the nature of this forum changes.

I do not think it is unreasonable to expect those wanting to use information to post on open teachers' sites etc to at least ask if the OP minds

I'm the op of the tes issue..
Just want to let you all know . I do only post on here what I am okay with being on an open forum. If the people concerned or anyone involve read it and connect it.. Then tbh I would and have said the same to their face.
So please don't worry too much.

It would have been nice to been asked first but I've been around long enough to know that things do get picked up and spat back out on other forums and in the papers etc.

and there is plenty that I don't say that would be far more revealing and linking to us as a family iyswim.

TheArsenicCupCake glad your ok as that is the most important thing, hope you keep posting as well.
I do think it is good to be reminded like the op did that this is not a "safe" place, it can be googled, lurked on, used against you and so on. so we have to be careful.

Indigo Bell. You are not very articulate are you?

2shoes :) thank you .. And I'll keep posting a) because I like this nest of vipers lol ..b) because this forum is actually very helpful and supportive. And c) although I type drivel a lot .. Hopefully being a bit further down tbe line with a slightly older dc with sn .. I hope some of what comes out of me may help others.

DLI .. That's not the most constructive sentence in the world ever.. Even if it is your opinion.

TheArsenicCupCake yes you are very needed on here.

I was replying to the negative and incorrect comments about me at the top of this page.

Hi DLIguy not seen you about on the special needs forum before. Tell us a bit about yourself?

"I think the problem is here isn't it? This is not a normal conversation. You wouldn't have a 'normal coversation' with someone and then go and publish it in a magazine or speak about it at a public meeting. This is closer as an analogy to the TES issue than the idea of discussing the topic in a discreet chat in private between two people."

But you would. People do. All the time. A huge % of the weekend papers' output is from freelancers re-telling conversations with friends and trying to make some sort of "story" out of it. When DD1's specialist finally writes his book about weirdy childhood neurology, I fully expect DD1's conditions to be discussed, and as she's fairly rare that will probably include a para more or less describing her and as long as she's not identifiable from that I wouldn't expect him to ask my permission. In a previous life when I was running projects, I frequently got up on my hind legs and addressed entire banks about how projects worked and why doing it one way was better than another and though I didn't ever mention names or identifying features, of course I told war stories as illustrations; that's what made me credible. I'll maybe give a talk to DD2's school about DD1 and about kids like her, and when I do I will have to say "and there are some kids who..." and "I know there are families that..." and yes, I will draw on things I have read on MN. How could I not? How can I filter out the specific bits of all the things I have learned about SN through the years which happened to be posted on this particular board rather than read in books or discussed in corridors or just worked out for myself?

Of course, in a more public forum (ha!), you have to generalise rather than give personal detail and you have to be scrupulously fair and factual. But if you do, and if there is no conceivable way that discussing the broad facts of a case hurts the OP, I genuinely can't see the harm.

Well that's a different point you're making now to the 'quite chat with hubby' suggstion.

Using experience to back up points in a work situation is understandable. As is doctors quoting their experience of unidentifiable patients to expand knowledge in an area.

I couldn't possibly comment on whether journalists get permission from their sources. I suspect they should.

However, this situation isn't the same is it? There is a clear tension between parents and schools in SEN matters an, although the poster may have been trying to help, it would have been better to make the suggestion that the OP use the board herself. That's all

Of course, my situation is a little different. Somebody seemed to have circulated my post to another professional and it just appened to be the one I had instructed.

This sort of thing is just a little unusual for this board that's all.

Oh and "if there is no conceivable way that discussing the broad facts of a case hurts the OP"

I'm not sure how a third party is best place to guarantee there is no conceivable way harm could be caused, are you?

Apologies for typos on previous post!

Anyway, I suggest we don't 'feed the troll/s' any more and just abandon this but beware in future of how this board can be 'opened' up for a whole variety of motivations.

before we close this thread I just wanted to say to DLIGuy -

"Welcome back Lucinda. You can revert to your previous username f you like. You're not fooling us".