Bonkerz
That's truly shocking. You've described a whole host of very unprofessional if not dangerous behaviours by this Pysch.
Sadly our own experience of CAMHS was very mixed (to say the least0. Our initial Pysch was utterly crap and it was only when I raised a complaint that we managed to change to a decent Pysch.
if I were you....
Look on the GMC website and see what this Pysch's specilaism is - some are not Child and adolescent Pyschs at all but 'general' psychs who may have littel expertise in dealing with children (yes- it's unbelievable but it happed to us).
The site will also tell you when and when the Pysch qualified so you can judge their competence. I hope I am not flamed for saying this because it is based on my own personal experience with one, but I have found that Pyschs that trained outside the UK can have (cultural) different views on mental health issues and are not always up to speed in the same way as UK-trained Pyschs are. That was our experience.
Then I would ceratinly raise a formal complaint to the Head of the Trust in writing and ask that you be reassigned to another Pysch.
To have written to a 3rd party (school) without your consent is not acceptable. To have written to the wrong school about the wrong child is totally incompetent.
To have told your son that he is to blame is just totally outrageous.
You are now left without any meaningful professional input and that too is not acceptable. That's why I am suggesting that you ask to change Pyschs immediately.
I would go as far as we ourselves did and tell the PCT that we had no confidence whatsoever in the Pysch and demanded a 'replacement'.
You can also report him directly to the GMC, however the PCT should do that themselves if they have any doubts about his competency.
Best wishes