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Original poster

Someone tell me how do you stop feeling

33 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 20:52

Embarrassed about your childs behaviour when in public?

I was having my nails done earlier, had DS1 and DS2 with me. DS2 was quite happy watching what they were doing until DS1 started making loud noises and running around then DS2 joined in.

I was so damned embarrassed, everyone was looking at me and the more i asked DS1 to sit down the worse he got.
I wouldn't have been so worried if he had not been running out towards a road......

,guess it is my fault for being selfish and thinking of me for once.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 23/09/2010 20:54

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Claw3 · 23/09/2010 20:56

To be honest i dont feel embarrassed, i feel more defensive and protective when people stare at ds in public.

Do you not have anyone to watch the kids while you get your nails done?

5inthebed · 23/09/2010 20:56

I've no idea, but if you find out, please let me know.

I was getting the school uniforms before school in the uniform shop, and DS2 started man handling the shop mannequin. The man started yelling at him to stop Hmm and the lady who he was serving (snobby mare) turned to him and said "Well done, sometimes children need to be told off by a man because their mams can't do the job" HmmHmm. I left the shop in tears. Tears of embarrassment and frustration.

Lougle · 23/09/2010 20:58

Well, to be honest, I don't often feel embarrassed about DD1's behaviour itself, but I do feel embarrassed that I can't control it, and she is still (just) little enough that you can see people's ? expression - you know, the "naughty or not-quite-right Confused?"

For us, right now, taking DD1 anywhere like the place you described is a non-option. I suppose that you just have to weigh up whether it is worth it - was your DS1 struggling, or excited?

sumum · 23/09/2010 21:01

I am more embarressed in front of casual friends rather than total strangers, told an old women to shove her nose back in her face last week when she made comments in the supermarket.

debs40 · 23/09/2010 21:01

God, it's a tough one isn't it. DS has become obsessed by football which is great because it means that he has joined a club and mixed much better in school BUT we go to football practice yesterday and a mum who is a friend of mine but doesn't know about DS' Asperger's was standing holding a football.

DS runs up to her and starts bashing it out of her hands in a crazy excited way.

This is not someone he has ever exchanged two words with before and, at nearly 8, it caused a few people to start open mouthed.

I just feel so protective of him at moments like that as I know he's being judged.

They can think what they like about me but for him ....Sad

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:01

People were staring at me not the DS's because DS1 was running in and out of the shop. I felt embarrassed because they all looked at me sympathetically (sp) and I hate it!!!

They were also saying how lovely DS2 was and well behaved until DS1 started up....maybe I should remember this evening so in future I do my usual and dn't bother with any time for me .... I shouldn't have been selfish, he was already pissed off because I had spent money on clothes for myself Sad

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Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:06

i just re read my last post and I sound selfish but I am not.

I love and adore DS1 I just sometimes wish he was like other 12yr olds who could can will and do sit patiently and wait Sad there i go again sounding selfish.

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Claw3 · 23/09/2010 21:06

I assume ds1 is the child who has difficulties and ds2 doesnt, so hardly a good comparison for them to make. Im sure ds2 is lovely too.

Everyone needs some 'me' time, but it is very difficult to get 'me' time, when you have 2 kids with you. Could you get someone to watch the kids?

Who was pissed off your dh or ds?

sumum · 23/09/2010 21:09

You do need time for yourself, but having your nails done with any kids would be tricky.
Just think that if that was the highlight of their day they must have pretty boring lives.
Could you get a babysitter next time?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:09

Claw DS1 has ODD and is being assessed for aspergers albeit late in the day.

DP is the one who keeps telling me to take time out and have a day of pampering but I always end up feeling guilty or dealing with the aftermath from DS1 who thinks it is highly inapropriate for me to have my nails r hair done or buy something for myself.

DS1 has a complete melt down if i buy something for myself.

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Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:10

Sumum, We had been to the park, had dinner out and then i went to have my nails done..

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sumum · 23/09/2010 21:11

I mean the judgey folk have boring life not your dcs.Blush

Claw3 · 23/09/2010 21:13

Why doesnt DP look after the kids so you can have a day of pampering?

If you had already been clothes shopping, perhaps it was too much to then sit still for nails too?

chocoholic · 23/09/2010 21:16

I agree with Claw, things like that are so much more enjoyable when you have time to relax yourself as well.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:17

DP and I don't live together and as he works shifts it is sometimes difficult to fit things in around him...

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StarlightMcKenzie · 23/09/2010 21:18

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Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:19

CLaw sorry i didnt make it clear, I had been clothes shopping while DS1 was at school. But because I had not hidden them away he was pissed off.

DP has said he will have the boys on one of his days off so I can hav a day of pampering but I always feel guilty for leaving him looking after them as I know how trying DS1 can be.

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Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:20

Star lol thanks that made me giggle!

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Claw3 · 23/09/2010 21:21

Oh right, perhaps try to arrange something around his shifts, its so very difficult to relax and do 'adult' things when you have kids with you, even when they dont have difficulties. Very brave of you to attempt to!

You had already been to park, out for dinner, clothes shopping and then nails. Ds would have been overwhelmed by all the activities. Perhaps too much for one day?

Claw3 · 23/09/2010 21:24

LOL @ slap on the arse

sumum · 23/09/2010 21:24

If you have to take them with you then do it with confidence, don't be embarrassed.

Take something for them to do, handheld games/activity books and let them know its really important to you that they sit still for at least a while. Promise them a reward when you have finished and then let them run riot on the park.

Also if you have gel nails consider doing the infills yourself at home, I have a little uv lamp and the gels and it's quite easy (and cheap).

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 23/09/2010 21:25

Claw quite possibly too much!

I went clothes shopping with DS2 whilst DS1 was at school.
DS1 came home from school, we met DP went for dinner, Then to the park then on the way home I popped in to have my nails done.......

I just wish I didn't feel guilty when I was offered a break......

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Claw3 · 23/09/2010 21:26

Sorry x posted Theladyevenstar, why should you feel guilty, he is their father.

You cant relax with kids with you, enjoy it, dont feel guilty.

sumum · 23/09/2010 21:27

If a break is offered then TAKE IT.

You deserve it.

And don't feel guilty.