they said the boy would have 1:1

[want2sleep]

Ok last term ds signed off school as suicidal (age 5yrs)as being attacked by other boy with SNs. Anyway IEP last week reassurred the attacker would have 1:1 and ds to try 5 mins in yard....no 1:1 with the attacker today and attacker was trying to run really fast up to ds....ds was saying to 1:1 at bus stop "I wanna jump in front of the bus" ds had to be held tight (no more bus to school) and ds wet himself at some point in school which ds never does only once last year when anxious in school as soaked through when came home (ds can ask for toilet etc normally).

:( why is your son being signed off school when it should be the other lad.

ds(5) became suicidal after being physically attacked four times lisa:( GP had no choice ds was self harming (retching and vomiting) to get out of school and saying he wanted to die:(

I asked in iep could they do half play time each as I know they both need to play..but school refused saying they cant deny the attacker his playtime...that's when I burst into tears and said they were punishing my ds and not allowing ds into playground to play.

Total nightmare!

OK, a thought

The other boy's staement- does it specfiy lunchtime and break support?

just- my edperience is that most sattem,ents don;t and kids are often left unsupervised as there is no TA (teh excuse being that a TA needs lunch,as if only one eprson can do it)

After several eyars we now have lunchtime statement for ds1 and they ahve had to draww up a rota to cover. Could that be the issue?

want2sleep, you are going to have to go at LA level for this, you know that don't you? Skip school, straight to LA with copies to Governors. This goes beyond school management IMO.

Does your DS have a statement? If not, an emergency application needs to be done.

If he does then an emergency review is necessary.

DON'T take any rubbish about 'needing time to sort it out' - they can sort it within a week if they want to.

A suicidal 5 year old is simply neglect you poor, poor people.

Santi ds doesnt go in at lunchtimes only quarter a session a day. I was told at IEP the attacker would have 1:1 at break times so ds was now allowed into playground from today....how generous of them!

Louge can you or anyone [pleading] help me wrote letter to HT end of last year when GP also wrote letter and signed ds off school. The Case Manager said it was nothing to do with them (ds fully statemented) and was a school issue! Who do I write to now as told it was nothing to do with LEA!?

Also only had new statement less than two months ago...about to go to tribunal to get ds into smaller setting as has sensory and now extreme anxities/suicidal! Ds wanted to take tablets last term...but this whole new 'dangerous' way ds sees as getting himself out of school without knowing the real consequences as so young and no understanding...I'm so distraught.

OK

So I would write to the LEA anyway with a note requesting that it remains on their files as you will need to refer should you decide to take action against them for failing to prevent your child coming to harm (bluff it if needed. make them listen).

Governors and Head.

Then have a look at OFSTED and see if they can help.

(thats assuming youa re in UK obviously; we here have Estyn who have a smaller remit it seems)

It must be Estyn to then? thanks sancti.

oh you poor people

every child has the right to feel safe in school-and its the schools job to see this happens.

i would write to the HT and the LEA.
has youre child got a statement?a named officer?-get in touch with them.

have you a ss?do you go to Cahms?
ifso-maybe you could get everyone together with the school for a meeting?

if not-it might be worth getting in touch with cahms[get youre gp to do a referel]and ask them to see youre son-then go from there.

there is also organisasions that help with bullying in schools.

and i agree with Sancti aswell-
[regarding mentioning legal]

good god-what is wrong with these schools.
anyway-i find that once you start getting people involved[reg bullying]people move!

fwiw-ive had the oppisite problem-
when my child started the school[she was supposed to have a 1-1 also-i told them that she was very aggressive towards other kids-they took no notice.
they allowed her into the playground without a 1-1-and while i was busy repeatitly telling them that my child will hurt someone-
she hurt some other children-then badly attacked a child!

i told them that i was now getting in touch with my solicitor and lo and behold-
she suddenly had a 1-1 walking round with her at playtimes and social story input[and more]

i hope this helps and i hope things get better.

thanks sparky it does:) glad your dd got help

I do feel for the attacker also but distaught over ds wanting to throw himself under a bus...I will be taking ds now (only tried bus today as ds loves it normally) ds had panic attack in car Friday morning and screams at me...gonna crash the car one morning as it really stresses me and no one to sit with ds to help as dont get the help from LA and no family to help.

oh-i hope you wasnt thinking that i was taking the side of the boy that is attacking youre son[not that theres sides really]

what im trying to say is-im bloody discusted with youre sons school.[they are responsible]like i was discusted with my childs school.

yes-i can see why youre distraught-and i feel for you both.

have you a ss?
if not-see if you can get youre gp to refer you.

you might be able to get them to get someone to help you.

sorry Want2-i am genuinly trying to help you but [amonst other things]i have a condition
that has traits very simmilar to autism.
so im not sure if im putting what i mean across ok.?
i hope my post didnt offend you[didnt mean to]

You are being fobbed off It isn't a school issue because the children involved have statements of special educational need, which means that the LA have responsibility ultimately for their specific individual education, not the school, although the school act in loco parentis.

I would write:

Dear

I am writing to inform you of an incident at my DS's school on which has had a profound effect on my DS's well-being.

As you may be aware, last year my DS was signed off from school by our family GP as he was displaying suicidal ideations. He had been assaulted by on several occasions, and as a consequence wanted to die.

During a meeting to form DS's current IEP, we were assured that the child who had been assaulting our son was being given 1:1 supervision during break times. I expressed concern that my DS was being kept in during break times. It was agreed that as the other boy now has 1:1 during break times, DS should try 5 minutes play time outside.

On DS went out for the agreed 5 minutes. However, the boy did not have 1:1 as promised, and was able to make a fast run towards DS, scaring him. As he was leaving the school with his 1:1 TA, DS said "I wanna jump in front of the bus." The TA was concerned enough that she had to keep a very tight grip of my DS. He had also wet himself during his short time at school, despite being fully toilet trained.

I am writing to ask that you take action to remedy the situation my DS finds himself in. I understand that as both my DS and the other boy have Statements of Special Educational Needs, it is your responsibility as Chief SEN Officer to make the provision as specified in the Statement.

I am not satisfied that is a safe environment for my DS, as he now has suicidal ideations as a direct consequence of his attendance at the school.

I would appreciate your full attention to this matter, and await your response within 7 days.

It is simply unacceptable that a 5 year old can be driven to suicidal intent as a result of a school's inadequate safeguarding. The previous year's events have made it clear that my DS is at risk of harm, and this needs to be taken more seriously.

Yours sincerely

want2sleep

Needs major rehashing, but something like that.

OK then want2sleep if you're a fellow Welshie-

Try Snap cymru. I don't know where you are (I may well under a different name sorry- am shite at namechangers LOL). Here we had a man called Les, bloody fantastic- came to meetings, sneered at Headmistress, exactly what was needed.

Well worth a shot IMO.

Laso try SOS!SEN that someone mentionede earlier. IPSEA are great for finer details, legals etc but IME if you want a bit of fire in your canon, it's SOS!SEN you want.

oh Sparky you are lovely:) I was not offended and understand totally the boy needs help too(though not as much as ds at the moment on suicide watch:(

Lougle i got to admit that is blardy fantastic that letter...oh I feel so touched by this help thank you so so so very much...I have been off line writing a huge letter but may just steal yours as it is a zillion times better:)

Sancti Les works for my LEA now so on the other side of the fence now ..so just sneers at parents instead:( as I experienced

Letter going in tomorrow.....thank you:)

Lougle are you there...Is the School gov also the Cheif SEN Officer??

Sorry to be dim...or is it head of LEA or Case Manager for ds at LEA?

No want2sleep - chief SEN Officer is the LA official who is responsible for all children in the LA with SEN. Buck stops with them.

School Governor is completely different person

Lougle should I address the letter to the Chief SEN officer and school gov? Or just the Chief?

The boy again went to attack ds but ds 1:1 blocked the boy in time...it was too late when the other boy's 1:1 dragged him away over 30 seconds later as was to busy chatting at other end of school corridor and not doing 1:1 job...

Teacher told ds 1:1 today that ds is sensitive to touch and that why ds is petrified...wtf? I would not call digging nails in ds arm and drawing blood light touch?

Bloody hell Want2 wrt to Les! He's got a child with ASC himself, should know better.

In that case I will feel free to tell you that he achieved zero for us above the level of moral support and schoolcall him a waste of time

Does school have Church links as so many here do? Our Vicar normally steers clear but has stepped in twice that I know of, both cases being children with SEN that teh school was trying not to admit.

nope removed ds from church school two yrs ago as attitudes stunk....but getting bad here now (well worse if being truthful due to pure neglect of situation with other boy.)

Yep he made it worse for me and LEA in one phone call....he is awful to other parents and sees it as a game and not a child's life...

That rings true; in fact DH is wandering about the house now making comments about Nick Clegg-a-like turncoatsworking for the enemy! Didn;t relaise DH had bought into it all so much PMSL.

Seriously going to consider volunteering for SNAP now he's gone though. But not for a few days; want to think it through first.

Which LEA are you in? I think I know but usually get it wrong and offend LOL....

OK, well then I would triply suggest a ring to SOS!SEN. Assuming you get the eprson I did, I suspect they's adore taking this one on if you give them the full background including L and his history. It was like speaking to a batch of warriors when I spoke to them.

If Lougle's letter gets no heed, seriosuly think about your AM. I don't know if you share ours, but when DS3 had no support in the run up tos chool, ours went and sat on the LEA's desk until he was assured it was in process. I never got any help from our P but the AM- killer.

Yes, I would send it to Chief SEN Officer at the LA, Governor for SEN at school, Head teacher at school.

Sancti I'm next door to you but not over the bridge iygwim Goona try Lougle approach first but good idea!

Think before SNAP as then you will have more run in's with LEA and they may take this out on your ds's iygwim...I know it's awful to say dont help but you help hundreds here too so you aint doing any less than working their...

Lougle...I will cc them to the lot then...need to do something ds head in sofa sobbing his little heart out this afternoon (delayed processing of being nearly attacked in school again) was meant to go on hunt around fields and said "I just wanna walk" very tearful and talked about the other boy throughout.

It really is breaking my heart:(

Ds wont go near 'any' boy now as terrified, so that means no play/interaction at all! He has started to rock in school...ds never did this before...the anxiety is just overwelming!

Absolutelly try lougle's letter: its brillliant!

As for where youa re... I have narrowed it down to C, M and T PMSL. But yes, fairly local then.

You're right about SNAP of course. Although generally my LEAQ have been OK: it's only the school we have issues with IYSWIM, once we get to LEA level they are (usually) at the elast helpful. But I must stop taking things on anyway.

And if you want a coffee you know where I am. Just not during the cup as I think the entire village is on house arrest

thanks Sacti I will join you for a cuppa at some point:) ...when ds in school a little more as only have enough time to pop to shops at mo:(

What does PMSL stand for?

pissing myself laughing (or I guess peeing if you're a prude [wimk])