Massive, massive school refusing today

[KatyMac]

Poor DD

I wish I could 'fix' it for her

Same here, playschool though.

Hope you're ok, is she going to go or are you keeping her at home?

Do I ring school & tell them

Ah well it's too late now

Not too late but if she's totally refusing then there's not a lot you can do. You do have to ring school.

Yes phone school and tell them and ask them what they plan to do about it.

What is she worried about?

She left for the bus in floods of tears with me being mean hard mummy

She is probably there & fine now

Oh well done Katy.

I feel like crap - she has an 'upset' tummy which I am fairly sure is stress related (it appears on Monday mornings & around homework)

Sounds like she is feeling anxious about something. Perhaps you could have a chat with her when she gets home and try to find out what.

We get lots of headaches, tummy aches, legs aches, feeling sick etc, etc. Usually means there is something going on in school which ds is anxious about.

Monday mornings are usually the worst, after having a relaxing weekend.

She is & I have maintained for months that it is about school - but what do I know

Could she verbalise what it is about school she dislikes?

If she dislikes it, a good indication of what worries her.

No - & she hasn't said anything for ages - I wish she would

Ds is the same KatyMac, "i dont want to talk about it" is the usual response. He then bottles it all up hence the feeling sick etc, etc.

If i remember rightly your dd is about 11 years old. Perhaps you could try "i thought you might like to stay up for x about of time past bedtime tonight, so we can have a chat and a hot chocolate"

Amazing how staying up past bed time can loosen the lips!

It even took the psychologist months to get from her that she doesn't go to the loo at all at school

Aha now we are getting somewhere. What arrangements have the school made regarding going to the loo?

No wonder she has a tummy ache, if she doesnt use the loo in school. Now associates tummy ache with school!

Nothing - mind you it only came out on Friday at the CAF

Well done for getting dd to go in! Phone call to school office 'to make sure she got there' worth logging

I did an email

I would not want to go to school if it meant i couldnt go to the loo all day! Your poor dd, probably does have tummy ache if she cannot use the loo.

Phone the school, tell them about school refusal this morning, tummy ache, CAF meeting and what psychologist has said etc and ask them what arrangements they are going to make about your dd going to the loo.

The CAF was at the school - they are 'coming up with ideas' atm

Katymac, thats good, phone and tell them they need to put they ideas into practise as a matter of urgency as clearly a child who cannot use the loo is totally unacceptable and she has now started to refuse school and its high likely the cause.

It isn't Claw - there is so much going on her her atm

This is a small, tiny even bit of the whole picture

The sight loss, her mental state are all so much worse

Having to hold it in all day must be agony and can lead to urine infections. Tell them you want something in place urgently.

Katymac, no doubt the going to the loo is the tip of the iceberg, but none the less something that needs to be addressed. One less thing for your dd to worry about.

She cannot be expected to hold onto it, until they think of ideas.