I'm reasonably new to the CAF process but we are in the process of putting one together for ds1 (13). We've only just started pulling in and using support wrt ds but am further down the same line with ds3 (3.3)
We're possibly unusual in that we've had fantastic support every step of the way with ds3 and I've always felt included in decisions and while this has not been the case with ds1, I have some really good support. Our CAF and TAC meetings have always proved very useful and have been good at helping all the professionals =s work together for my ds's.
But my point is, in a CAF meeting (as with TAC and professionals meetings) do you not get to name the lead professional as someone of your choice? This has been our case and it means I know I can trust them to really be working with and for us.
We also have fantastic family workers both boys who are available to us whenever we need and understand the bigger picture not just a specialised area so are great at getting things done.
Do you have this support at all or is the support you have been offered not up to scratch? There should be someone to help and support you with all the. My HV was also brilliant in the early stages before others were involved.
I found ds1's family support worker through a support group I had avoided in the past, how I regret not going sooner. Maybe find out about groups that you could attend, specific to your dd's needs or a more general group support parents. If it's an informal group they can't stop you going surely?
This is not very useful for the immediate future but could make a difference longer term. Good Luck and I hope there's someone you find to give you some support you deserve!