I want to cry or scream. They are bastards.

[daisy5678]

I'm finally finishing my huge complaint against the council. It spans 5 years of incompetence so it's kinda long.

I thought it might be kind of cathartic to write, but it's just making me so miserable and angry. When you put all the incompetence together, it is truly breathtaking. Three refusals for Statutory Assessment, when every person involved with ds said he needed 100% 1:1 due to his extreme level of violence. 4 years of inappropriate provision, ignoring me and all the other professionals actually involved. 3 givings-in before Tribunal. Decisions that make no sense. Blatant disregard for SEN Code of Practice in every area.

Ex keeps saying yes, but move on; ds has what he needs now. Yes, he does - he has a great Statement and lots of appropriate therapy, but only because of me. The bastards who are supposed to make this process work actively make it not work for the child unless the parent pushes and pushes until they get close to breaking point .

Also, what really upsets me is having the write the impact of each little piece of the incompetence jigsaw. You know, because X and Y happened, ds didn't get Z and this means that he missed out etc. etc.

I also feel so at all the missed opportunities to offer him appropriate assessment and therapies. I shouldn't be, but I am. I am also that I didn't push more for dx and therapy at the start; I just wanted the Statement sorted.

And they've never ever apologised for anything . Even when backing down. That's what angers me the most. That, and the fact that they've done it and are still doing it to so many other poor buggers.

I thought that this would make me feel better. One huge complaint after the hundreds of hours that I've put in over the years. But it's not, and I'm starting to realise that nothing will because they can't give me back my lost hours or ds back his lost opportunities .

Nope, not madder, just more sure that I'm right to be mad, iyswim!

Thanks - will follow that approach - a complaint about the complaint, as it were! Wheels within wheels within wheels...

You'd think they'd just do the apologies etc. as it must be clear that A) I'm right and B) I can evidence it and C) I've not spent that much time putting it together for a laugh so it's unlikely that I'll be going away!

Ooooh, my turn soon.

Thought I'd be writing it by now having won the tribunal, but actually, having lost has given them so much more opportunity to fuck up since then

Good luck Giveme Now that you have done the hard work, you must be having quite a nice time imagining the meetings and squirms etc.

I am. I can't anticipate anything that can be thrown back at me, not really, and they must be slightly stressed by that. I hope the stress is being placed on the right people though - the ones who actually made the fuck-ups.

When are you starting yours? You might not have won, but the provision you inadvertantly won shows that the initial package offered was inadequate. That's worth a slap on the wrist for your LA, I reckon.

%hey will never admit they were wrong, nor apologise.

Then I shall have to ask LGO to make them do so

The stupid thing is that individual heads of services have apologised, WetAugust, and promised it will never happen again. Then it has .

Then I shall have to ask LGO to make them do so

Well it was only the fact that the LGO found in my favour that forced them into an apology.

I doubt you had the individual Heads written apologies?

these people do not apologise formally. They lie, cheat and twist facts.

It's now 3 years since I obtained my apology and I still want to do them vast amounts of damage.

Oh no, that's what I meant when I said they've never apologised for anything: they've never put an apology on record or formally done so, but individuals have said sorry (on the quiet) but have usually blamed/ excused and therefore negated the apology - e.g. yes, but he wasn't dx'd with autism then; now he is so of course he can now have x, y and z. Or, well, the evidence wasn't clear but it is now

Was the apology you got vaguely genuine? Did changes get made? Do you think things are different for the children like your son now?

Was the apology you got vaguely genuine?

No - considering the LGO forced them to apologise and the letter of apology they sent me made that quite clear.

Did changes get made?

The LGO did tell them to change certain aspects of the way they dealt with SEN provision but I've no evidence that they have made these changes.

Do you think things are different for the children like your son now?

No.

And about a year after my complaint was upheld by the LGO I stumbled across a record in Hansard of the (bastard) Senior SEN Officer about whom I'd complained, giving evidence to some House of Commons Committee on Education placing himself on record that he did not believe in Statements.

If I'd known that at the time I would have used that as ammo in my complaint too.

Just thinking about it now, years later, still makes me very angry.

You'll have to drag them kicking and screaming to the LGO to extract any semblance of an apology from them unfortunately.

But keep going. I used to console myself that I was causing them a just a tiny little bit of the grief that they had caused me.

Bitter and twisted? - Yes, probably but they deserved it and for once I held the trump card as I spent hours and hours formulating my very long responses to every stage of my complaint and they had to tie up their resources (including their legal Dept) dealing with it.

They'll probably ring you at some stage and ask you "What do you want" in an attempt to get you to close the matter. They seemed to think they could 'buy me off' and were surprised when I told them that only a full and unconditional apology would suffice. They would not agree to this so it dragged on to a final LGO complaint.

Bastards.

what, they could offer you money but no apology? Just so sad that people can't admit wrong. Did they enjoy the legal case - i.e. did they continue to claim they were right despite the LGO judgement?

oh

I don't think I could take the money instead of an apology. Of course, it would depend on how many millions they were offering

I mean, the money is surely a 'sign' of their having done wrong, but it isn't the same by a long shot.

If they issue an apology saying they have made mistakes wouldn't this mean you would be able to claim LOADS of money?

Yes, they rang to see what 'remedy' I was seeking and it was quite clear that they were trying to buy me off.

Looking at their complaints procedures they can offer small amounts ( acouple of hundred) at Stage 2 so they don't have to expose the whole sorry mess to the Stage 3 Panel of Councilors.

I refused. I was particularly incensed that it was done by phone so there was no trace in writing of this 'offer'.

The legal remedy was running in parallel with my formal complaint to the Council. The Council just refused to engage with my solicitors at all despite us setting out the basis of our claim in writing to them in a Letter Before Claim.

The LGO then found in my favour and within a few months the Council's insurer's responded to my solicitor with their offer - which we accepted to avoid going to Court where we may have received more but may have received less and could have ended up paying their legal costs.

Instead they paid both sides costs and we settled.

And that's the only way you'll get any satisfaction.

Start to finish just over 3 years.

Why dont Local Authorities realise that many Parents who make complaints would be happy to receive a prompt and genuine apology. In many cases the children just need a teacher to say a sincere "sorry, I was wrong".

We know, in our case, when the HT first went and asked the teacher "what happened" She said to the HT " I am sorry".

If that apology had been passed on to us, and if it had been a sincere and genuine apology, it would have saved our family tremendous anguish. It is almost as though Local Authorities want Parents of SEN children to hate them.

To sue them a parent has to prove 2 things

1. that they were at fault and

2. that damage directly arose from that failure.

So they never willingly apologise as to do so would establish the first part of the basis of the parent's claim.

If they gave a sincere apology then the child and the Parents may not want to go to Court.

If they do not apologise. then they start telling lies.

For me, the apology is the main aim. I guess I know that any financial remedy awarded by LGO (peanuts) or court (more substantial) would just come out of the existing pot for local disabled kids, so would feel bad about that (though guess I could reinvest it) although equally my son is going to need quite a lot of support for all his life so it's not like I don't need cash.

Pipin, I remember realising how naive I was at even my job, assuming that the system worked and was fair and realising that the system I've worked my arse off for wasn't about to help my son unless I made them did indeed make me absolutely furious and there are still people I have to avoid at work things in case I shout at them.

This the route which allows me to not do that

LC, if apology had been made, if genuine, we too might not be as angry.

As it is, I record everything, respond to letters that have incorrect details, assumptions, etc. Parent Partnership said to concentrate on what I want and not fight every detail, etc but I can't tell them I have to in case I want to take further action in the future.

I think they think I'll go away and if they close their eyes, I won't be able to see them...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I can see no other reason for still having not responded. Perhaps they've put it in the shredder, so they can say, 'what complaint?'

I dont know what to say ? after reading all this as I thought I was the only one who had been fighting the system (LEA) for 3 years trying to get the help and support my child needed. My child has gone to 5 schools in thoses 3 years of his infant school years. He did have mild issues at the start but what he has been threw in thoses years such as actions in regards of teaching staff and how they dealt with his needs has left him in a state.
I have been to eveyone you could think of as far as the Human Rights / Ombudsman / LEA / Teaching Council/ solicitor Special Educational Needs - Not one wanted to help me to sue the Council for educational negligence!!! Yes we got a Statement in the end in the 3rd year and it resulted in us not having to go to the Educational Tribunal but the stress and the pain we went through having to hear this child be ripped to bits was just plain evil. Theses people have no hearts and their not people god only knows how they find them. Everyone of them from the teachers and the LEA support workers were all in it together they all know what to do and how far to go. My heart goes out to the next family if I could and I would still take the lot of them to court (no one will take the case - you ask yourself why?) Iam just happy my child is here and my child !!!!! Fxxx Them!!

Nobody wanted to help you sue - why? What reason did they give?

AIBU to complain about the complaint or does that then become vexatious and they can claim I'm harassing them and refuse to communicate with me?

I have rung the complaints service (who were supposed to have contacted me a fortnight ago to give me an update and estimate for response) a number of times (pre-4pm) only for nobody to answer or someone random to answer and explain that everyone's gone (last week) or nobody's there as it's half-term (this week) . Spoke to someone who said they'd get back to me within 24 hours...on Tuesday. Tis now Friday and I'm getting quite amused but annoyed at how much they seem determined to be incompetent!

I guess the people who want to understand try, pipin. But it comes down to people's priorities and our kids don't always make other people's lists