Judgy parent getting to me

[rebl]

I know I shouldn't let this get to me but it is. My ds(4) is deaf and has mild behaviour problems but nothing serious or dx, probably all related to his sensory imparement. This woman has already told me that I'm making a mistake sending him to a MS school and he will be a detriment to the class learning and the school.

Today she really took the biscuit. She told me that she has been observing my ds and really feels that he shouldn't be going to MS school and that why on earth did I think that a child who clearly is functioning at at least 1 year behind his peers would be happy and thrive in a MS school.

I'm tired after a hard day and long night with my ill dd and these comments didn't go down well. Needless to say I just walked away and have been crying ever since. Totally over reacting I know. But he's not 1yr delayed. The professionals describe him as the bottom end of the normal range. Why does this woman have to persist at digging at me about my son? Does she think I have no feelings?

who is she?

another parent?

Yes, another parent. Unfortunatly I have no choice but to see her as my dd and her dd are good friends. My dc are twins so will be starting school together and going into the same class as her precious dd. Sorry thats patronising but I'm in a foul mood over her. She seems to think she has a right to judge my ds and preach to me.

Back in June she told me that she thought my ds had ADHD and why hadn't I got help for him? Then beginning of July she accosted me in the preschool playground and asked if I had got him statemented for school as she was concerned how he would take up all the teachers time. I normally let her comments wash over me but as I say I'm tired today and just not managed to let it go and I'm very upset by her comments. I'm sensitive to my ds and his behaviour at the best of times, I don't need people telling me their unprofessional thoughts.

How dare she, there will be children with all different abilities in your kids class, average, above average and below average, WTH gives her the right to say where your child should be!!

I don't think you are over reacting.

Frankly I'd have knocked her block off.

I would steer clear of her or at least make it known you do not appreciate her comments and that she really needs to keep her opinions to herself.

Your boy has every right to be in

1. mainstream school and
2. with his twin

What a fuckwit. She has no idea what she is talking about.

Hugs to you.

I can't stand the woman but considering that the class this year is just 12 children with only 3 girls I really can't avoid the woman. What can I say to dd, you can't play with A because her mother is a horrible piece of work?

I have no choice to tolerate her until she's happy to have my dd to play without me staying. Not that I really like the fact that my dd is socialising with the her dd but I really can't do anything about it with so few girls in the class can I. Plus they're only 4 and its not the girls fault, its this bloody mother.

Tell her 'you dont know how her child will manage in life with such a judgy bitchy mother' .

I would be angry and upset too .

We have had similar comments about dd2 'wont she distract the other children' and 'how will she cope'.

Dd2 starts school next week and i am so worried about coments from other parents. Luckily dd2 is one of only 5 children starting in september, 3 have SN's and 2 are NT children. Also lots of the parents know dd2 as her sister is at the school.

I do get upset when people coment on my dd's but i am starting to grow a thick skin.

Tragically, SN kids need valiant and energetic parents and sometimes that's a bridge too far.

Starlight is right - put your kids and you first - screw her and her little darling.

starlight my dh is saying that karma will come round and bite her hard one day. I just wish she'd shut up.

We've now got Chuggington on repeat and ds is sitting there glued and totally clueless. At least he's not noticing these comments.

Unfortunately there are so many ignorant people about that it's hard not to get upset. I have just ended a 20+ year friendship due to 'friend' stating that all children with SEN should be segregated and kept out of MS schools as they cause 'normal' children like hers to not get enough attention.
Being charitable,this woman may have the hide of a rhino and may not be aware of how she is upsetting you. Next time she passes an ignorant comment say how her remarks are upsetting to you and see how she reacts.

Tell her his behaviour problems stem from the fact that he is extremely gifted and bored at school :) And he's already been enrolled on the gifted and talented program - has her dd????? [evil grin emoticon]

The thicker skin I've been growing is coming along nicely, I sympathise I know how it feels to come home and just cry at people's horrid comments.

I agree that next time she makes a comment you really should call her on it. You don't have to be confrontational but you could make sure she knows she is being rue and ignorant and upsetting you. I wouldn't be able to put up with her on a regular basis without having it out with her. I have done this before in a similar situation and haven't had a comment from said person since.

what a cow . suggest very sweetly that she takes up any issues she may have with the school (who hopefully will realise she's a malicious barmpot). and refuse to engage with this topic of discussion.

I would say "How dare you take it upon yourself to pass judgement on my son, please do not do it any more."

well, I'd hope I would, I'd probably just go off and cry.

You have to though, if someone is directly being so awful to you!

She will probably get the fright of her life and back off.

Someone very wise once told me that if someone is being nasty to you just show your claws, they will soon go away and find an easier target.

"it must be worrying for you with your child, not all children are very academic, and of course they are the ones who might be distracted, so I can see why it's playing on your mind. Talk to the school and see if your child could have extra time to finish things, maybe?"

Go on, stick the knife in.