Anyone still here ?Just had an interesting talk with DS1 any advice??

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Ok this is probably going to sound garbled as I am trying to get my head around all he said....he was quite clear and precise.

He and I were talking about things that make us happy or sad/worried/nervous.

And he said this

Going to places where there are a lot of people is scarey, i don't like being with a lot of people, i like being with a few people i know well. I don't like people mummy.

I asked him why and he said

They seem so loud and in my face when they talk and they make me nervous.

He went on to explain he doesn't like general chit chat in school as when more than one person is talking he cannot keep up and gets confused.

Also he hates not knowing what we are doing, he said if he knows we are going to the park then he wants to do that, not go to get a drink/petrol/ sandwich before as it confuses him.

He also told me he prefers to be on his own rather than with people and that he is happiest when he can just sit in his room or in the corner of the living room.

I have found this all confusing tbh!!!

the awful thing is although he was precise and clear he was non reactive iyswim? it was just all so hmm off handed doesn't seem the right word.

My ds doesn't much like other people either. It's sad, but he seems happy enough with his own company.
The bit about more than one person talking, my ds is a bit like that and finds it difficult to follow instructions at school...the SALT thought it might be auditory processing disorder.

I just cannot process it all if that makes sense!!

Where is my little boy who would chat to everyone and anyone ???

he was talking to people perfectly fine 8 years ago and now he shies away from them and retreats into his world....

TWT ohh yes a walkman lol

he has an ipod bought last xmas and tbh he won't use it for more than a few minutes he says it is distracting if he is trying to do something.....I used to love having my walkman on when i was doing other things...

He's a gifted boy isn't he? Very self-aware too it seems and how lovely that he is confiding in you. These things are so hard to explain when we don't have the language, the experience or the knowledge that the world may appear differently to others.

Perhaps look on You-tube where there are a few videos showing what sensory overload is like. I found them very useful. Perhaps he will identify with some of them. You'd need to vet them first I'd imagine. Here's one I was shown on a course:

but why have i not known? why have i pushed him into social situations, clubs, tried encouraging friends etc and not known??

Star, he was fine before he had his MMR, after that he withdrew, stopped sleeping, stopped eating properly, screamed uncontrolably for no reason, started wetting his bed having been dry day and night by 16m.......

Milady very gifted. The school have already said by the tail end of yr 8 he will be ready to sit his english gsce. He has been reading fluently since he was tiny, read all the harry potter books at 5yrs old...now age 12 his reading age is off the scale....when he gets into a conversation he can talk the hind legs off a donkey..too much tbh lol

he also explained something else to me which i have always got annoyed about...every night he takes his sheet off his bed and i always moan..he told me he doesnt like it because of the feel of the crease as he lays on it.

Star he is 12

Sounds like there could well be sensory issues, DS hates seams in clothes and woe betide me if I don't get his socks on in exactly the right way!

Given his reading ability and with supervision he might like to read one of the many forums there are for young people with AS. It's a safe way to interact and share experiences although as Starlight says he also needs to go out and practice.

Milady, I am not about to stop the socialising i know he needs the practice.

I will be back tomorrow as i must away to bed now as I have an early start and 3 dc to care for.

LES, your son sounds very like my DS 11 who has AS. He also hates crowded environments, meeting lots of strange people at once, unexpected changes. He spent the past few years at primary m/s sitting out of class, not going into assembly and avoiding people. He's also very bright and able to articulate his feelings.

Sensory issues are an issue for us too. He had a home programme devised by BIBIC and will get OT support at his special secondary school. It's been a struggle to encourage him to maintain social contact as he would sit out of mainstream activities or respond with difficult behaviour. He's been going to special needs playscheme this summer though - is there anything similar in your area? They've been great with him and he's had the chance to meet other AS boys.

Sugar, this is what he is being assessed for....maybe I will finally get some answers.

That is what I was thinking. This sounds like ASD to me. Maybe the ODD was a missdiagnosis? Or maybe he has both? ( In that maybe his defiant behaviour is caused by ASD not by ODD)

But this really, really sounds like ASD.

Anyway, now at least you have heaps more clues as to how to parent him. He needs lots of wind down time and lots of time to himself.

Does he have Sensory Processing Disorder as well? It sounds like he may have an issue with sound?

I don't know where you live, or if you can afford it, but I would really consider Auditory Integration Training. This should totally fix his hearing. Then when his hearing is sorted out, the social stuff won't be so hard?

at the age of 5 he was diagnosed with Bilateral Otitis which resulted in him having a double perferation of the ear drums. His hearing has been tested numerous times since because we worry about how he was affected, and also he always seems to "Not hear" however, I believe the proffessionals who tell me his hearing is fine now.

I am waiting for a referral for an assessment for AS, what will in involve?