really tempted to leave now

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

The ADHD thread is the last straw..!

People saying "oh but that's normal for a 4 year old" etc.

They have NO CLUE.

It's totally spoiling MN for me and there are just more and more of them coming out of the woodwork.

that is what they say(or words to that affect)

Fanjo, don't be leaving, I've added my tuppence worth to that thread. It probably is a troll. Hide it and stay here on sn board.

For the record I am not wasuup30000 in case they try and post as me under that username.

The OP on that thread is clearly deranged.

Thanks star - Am doing!!

I've noticed that mn's terms of service seem to be pretty vague, but most message board sites frown very frownily (it's late!) upon impersonating other posters.

Nope its extremely weird!!

Just read all 16 pages of it and feeling very uncomfortable as I can see points on both sides.

I do think that in some cases the 'professionals' are taking a lazy approach by not discounting other possibilities (as they should do) before arriving at the ADHD dx. And we know from our own experiences that the competence of professionals varies considerably.

I don't see the point in multiple overlaping dxs - my DS with Aspergers displays a lot of ADHD behaviour - insomnia, can't sit still etc etc but these behaviours have their roots in his primary Aspergers dx i.e. insufficient melatonin secretion, fidgetting because of physical discomfort in room of strangers, because of sensory issues etc.

And I recognise that all these conditions are part of an overlapping spectrum.

But I do agree that in our child-centered society behaviour that would not have been acceptable years ago is now becoming more common.

I do think that drug companies are 'pushing' medication. I have concerns about some ofthe universal 'cure-all' drugs that are being (over) prescribed - where the same anti-pschyotic is used to treat conditions as varied as anorexia, schizophrenia, anxiety disorder. OCD etc.

Having said all that...

I do believe that ADHD exists and that it's not the result of bad parenting.

I just don't think we needed to rubbish the OP's views quite so forcefully - perhaps we should have walked away and let it slide to the bottom of the page and oblivion.

Not our finest hour

But why do we rise to the bait?

It just ends up with entreched views and people feeling utterly miserable and threatening leave MN mainstream / SN.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that parents have a lot of anger with little opportunity to defuse it.

But we shouldn't let it blind us to the fact that there is a lot of really poor parenting going on and a lot of ignorance from the medical 'professionals'.

DS was noted as 'ADD' by his school. School were wrong. He was finally dx'd with Aspergers 5 yeras later. To me that ADD description was an unwarrented lazy misconception by a school teacher. How many more parents have been told their child is ADD/ADHD by some unqualified person when they should have had a different primary dx (or indeed any professional dx)?

That's what we should be fighting as it devalues the real cases of ADHD that people here on SN are living with daily.

PS I have fingers and toes crossed for you next week.

I don't think the op was really interested in a discussion about over dx etc though. He just wanted to have some sort of rant about poor parenting. Unfortunately kids with ADHD are easy to blame.

Shame, because all the children I know with an ADHD diagnosis are classic cases. I know children with other sorts of developmental issues that don't quite fit any dxand they remain undx (difficult for all). I alsobknow very difficult kids with ADHD who have very well behaved siblings.,

I really don't think the op wanted to hear that though.

As I mentioned in the thread, DS1's primary diagnosis is autism, but without a concrete diagnosis of ADHD, which took almost 9 months to get, we couldn't treat his ADHD. We spent the year up until that diagnosis struggling terribly with him ending up at school part time and no amount of behavioural approaches were even going to touch him.

I certainly didn't go into having him medicated lightly. He suffers with so much anxiety and is so prone to food refusal at the slightest upset that I'd rather have carried on as we were than tried him with methylphenidate. Strattera, the drug he is taking has made a huge difference. I can't see many cash strapped health authorities bowing to pressure to prescribe it as it's about £50 a pack. The psych said it's usually a second choice medicine, but given his anxiety and food refusal, DS1 is an exception.

That's how I see it, too, saintly.

And DS2 is sweetness personified. He does spend some time on his own agenda and we do have obsessions and rituals to deal with, since he does have autism, after all, but compared with DS1, dealing with him is a walk in the park because he's a pleaser by nature.

DS2 is a happy little boy and DS1 is perpetually unhappy in a big way. Unmedicated, we always say it's like he has a desperate need to crawl out of his own skin.

This thread was tip of iceberg actually. The reason I should leave NT MN is that it has actually caused me mental health problems which cause me difficulties in daily life.↲for example i feel awful on buses with dd in buggy after reading judgy threads about large kids in buggies,to extent it is affecting daily life and making me depressed. The recent judgy thread made me worse and more paranoid, all these awful opinions. Everyone on this board has been amazing tho, but judgy types on MN have made me paranoid and ill and affected daily life with DD.It's that bad.just had first counselling session at last . sorry phone doesnt do paragraphs!

Well, in that case you definitely need to stay a member of SN mumsnet, so that we can all continue to tell you how ignorant, shallow, narrow-minded and not worth bothering about they are.
And to share the insanities and refreshing unpredictability of being part of the looking-glass world where we don't care to Pass For Normal, or Boring or Predictable.

Oh, and counselling?
Very good thing, worked for me when I was being squashed and flattened and generally wanting to live in an unidentified hole in the forest all by myself.

thanks. Yes,i think it will help,has made me very blubby today though,and going to work. Doesnt help that my mum gets annual cancer test results today!

Always has been, always will be.
Different sorts of knobbery as the decades roll past, but never gone. Despite all our best efforts at knob-bashing!