I want to start an 'Inappropriate Days Out' Club

[donkeyderby]

I feel very restricted with places I can safely take DS but I often think it be fun to go to completely inappropriate places with a bunch of SN children with a range of socially unusual or unacceptable habits, just to be really annoying. Like...

Evensong at St Paul's Cathedral

The House of Commons gallery (obviously when they are not dossing all holidays

Glyndebourne

Dinner at The Ivy

Maybe the audience of 'Top Gear' would be good too

virgins trains first class compartment - with all the snotty suits making v. important business calls...

LOL at Virgin First Class! DS wouldn't make it that far though, he'd be in the driver's cabins getting all the trains lined up.

Brilliant image there BialystockandBloom, thank you

ds1 loves hospitals. For a while I had to take constant detours via our local teaching hospital or suffer him shouting his head off.

When ds was toilet training I took him to the hairdresser's and asked if I could borrow their toilet in case ds wanted to go (They'd known him from a baby so didn't mind).
Four years later he still has to go in there every single time we visit. He just barges in and sits there with the door wide open and I have to run after him quick before all the old ladies have heart attacks under the dryers.
Maybe it wouldn't be quite so bad if he would only learn to wee standing up, at least he'd have his back to them!

ooh, the lascaux caves in france - you are not allowed to talk or touch AT ALL. a baby burbling quietly was made to leave instantly, and the parent was not asked politely, either.

of course, they let you buy the expensive ticket first, and actually drive out to the caves, before they tell you that. they charge for the kids too, before saying they have to be completely silent. questions weren't allowed, either.

it is the LEAST child friendly place i have ever been.

Why on earth do you have to be silent? The paintings are hardly going to fall off the wall!

because they are so very precious about it all have so many tours going around, just a few metres apart, that you might interrupt someone else's tour. the fact that they push you round as quickly as possible, and that you can hear the same tour going on in about 5 places, is obviously not an interruption to your enjoyment.

these are the duplicate caves, not the original ones.

we also went to a french chateau where you had to take the guided tour & they locked each room behind you to make sure no-one lurked or touched. half way round dd needed the toilet - she was still 2. they had no choice but to let her use the duke's private toilet (complete with toilet seat with family crest on!)
of course, i had to go too, just cos i could.

Riven, at DS's holiday club, they hoist wheelchair users up the climbing wall (whether they like it or not)

This is a brilliant thread,my ds is in his 20s and a will young look alike,very wiry and powerful,taller than me.This has led to some pretty hairy moments,when he kicks off,and attacks me in a melt down in public,enough said.I thought I would take him to Church as I am a regular attender and would dearly love to take him.I took him and he battered me to the floor with a hymn book and went beserk.Far from banning me and him from Church,the Vicar did his upmost to persuade me to continue to take him,no matter how much the disapproval from others and bizarre his behaviour.I couldn`t face it,again,but full marks to the Vicar.As your child becomes older, far from Life becoming harder,in some ways Life does get easier as you give up what is not going to work and what is,and stop feeling guilty about it.I used to take my ds to all sorts of inappropriate places,because I felt he deserved the right to be there as much as any one else.I then realised that it was affecting my health,especially my mental health which has always been fragile.He is OK in a group,and has been to some wonderful places in that context.As for Museums and Art Galleries,trust me when you have an sn child who kicks off in these places,and then you go alone,the extra dimension is wonderful.Sorry if I have hijacked this thread,which is brilliant.

My DS loves IKEA (it's a nightmare, and takes AT LEAST ttwo adults) you can climb on all that furniture, play with all those toys, get to choose your own, NON mixed up food AND you get to play in the park bit afterwards!

Our local IKEA is the one where people got stabbed on openning night and it clsed again for a week, I suspect slightly mad small children are the least of their worries, cos they never seem to be in the slightest bit botherd!

I kind of wish you could all come to our wedding, designed specifically with DS in mind, it is in Disney World (he is currently LOVING the going on a plane idea, - he went on a plane before but doesn't remember - and desperate to meet Mickey Mouse) and DP actually booked Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck to come to the reception, so he can meet them without there being big queues or too many other people. we are having choclate cake, which is DS dream diet, and my only concern is the top end restaurant we're going to afetrwards (he's not great at waiting for thigns, when he is hungry!) But we have specified to the wedding planner that he is to have a GOOD TIME and feel SPECIAL, so hopefully they'll be nice to him!

Congratulations 3Trees,it sounds marvellous,especially your specifications to the wedding planner

how about work's do children's party?

we are off this afternoon, so wish us luck.

It has worked tolerably well the last coulpe of years because a) dd1 was pre-school age and b) dd2 was a baby, so we ould hang out in the soft play baby room bit.

this year? god only knows...

dh's work do a party every year, and take over a whole office floor. but that doesn't disguise the spiral staircase, or the computers, or the mases of delicious looking party food that dd1 can't have, etc etc.

ohwell, they'll enjoy the train journey in at least

A 'simple' trip to the park with friends... SN ds whining and not too keen but you drag him as they usually cheer up after a while. Add a picnic with food that isn't quite right, lots of wasps, and sticky orange juice in a bottle that spills. Top off with self inflicted stress of trying to avoid child meltdown triggers so you can llook like a NT family. Then wait for relatively minor child misbehaviour, exhibit hugely disproportionate maternal tantrum, make a swift exit to car and do microwave lunch at home.... Bliss.

I've just taken ds1 to sainsbury's alone. First tine in a very long time. He bunny hopped and shrieked his wY round, but we met another mum who was a friendly face. We even managed to get everything we needed. And got a chance to stick our head in every microwave, but more Daz (latest obsession) and closely examine some shutters (another current obsession).

I treated myself to series 3 of Ashes to Ashes. Keeley Hawes was the mother in that After Thomas film so thoughts of the shoe shopping scene made me smile as we bunny hopped round bashing our trolley into people.

Oh and I am feelig a bit scared as I have just booked to take ds to the children's prom. They ahev sold me good seats on an aisle, so a0 he'll be able to see, IN DETAIL and b) we can leave if it gets too much.

he likes music, so i thought it would be a good experience for him?

Good Luck to you all,I have so been there!

Hey we didn't even have to go out today. Doorbell rings. I go to answer the door. Ds follows. Before I even have a chance to say Hello. DS starts " Royal Mail, Royal Mail, Royal Mail, your names Royal Mail (says so on his uniform), Hello Royal Mail". Fortunately Postie is nice and I sign for the parcel as he gives DS a strange look and a half smile. Then Ds starts again " Royal Mail is a funny name, Royal Mail, Royal Mail bye bye Royal Mail". Postie quite obviously is dying to burst out laughing at this point but manages to walk away chuckling to himself....

jardy, really enjoyed your post - Why are churchgoers so judgy and unwelcoming to the sort of people Jesus would have had the most time for? I never get that! Wonder if the happy clappies would be more tolerant, since they make more noise in the first place?

You are so right about avoiding the things that don't work. Sometimes, though, they don't work because of other people's disapproval - like going to the cinema.

Hi donkeyderby,thank you for the lovely comment.I know Jesus would welcome my son,its the parishioners who wouldnt.The vicar went on a mission to persuade them through sermons and a newsletter article in which he stated how much Jesus would want people like my son to be included.However by then I realised that my mental health was going downhill because of the pressure so I stopped taking my ds.I agree that the happy clappers would be more tolerant but dont want to be an evangelical Christian.After all this blew up more parishioners made an effort to support me,so it wasnt for nothing.My Parish Church is a very conservative C of E,very traditional.However I love it and get a lot of peace from the Service.Lovely to hear from you

Hi jardy

I think it's 'horses for courses' as far as style of worship, I know our church because people are free to walk about sit on the floor and dance if they feel like it,(or just sit) works for my ds who doesn't sit still and he loves watching the projected words on the screen. But we are quite loud.. (amplfied full band) so we often have my hands over his ears, so somewhere less 'exuberant' might be easier for children more sensitive to noise.

I would say it's more attitude than style, as I want somewhere that sees my ds as a valid member of the family, (we do have 25 to 30 different nationalities / language groups in the church and some adults with disabilities, so that helps too).

Having knowledge of disabilities is useful, but even more so is the willingness to listen and make changes.

Have to say tho, contemplation and peace is usually achieved after ds has gone out to 'kids church' with one to one support, (him not me!)

feeling sorry your ds was not welcomed and included.

I know a woman who used to organise services specifically for people with learning disabilities at her church. She no longer does that, but has invited me and DS and a bunch of friends with disabled children to her - evangelical - church sometime. I hover between agnosticism and atheism, but I'm very happy to go to anywhere that welcomes my child.

DS and his class were asked to leave a church they were visiting because they were making noises. This sparked a row with another church member who said they should be welcomed and told them to stay. I must seek out some Bible quotes to throw at these hypocrite C of E'ers (ignoring the hypocrisy of an agnostic/atheist quoting the Bible)