worried about DD's speech (2.5). no yes/no answers

[littleElif]

hi there,

not sure this is the right forum but hopefully I can get some advise here:

DD is 2.5 years old and (as I find) a bit behind in her language: she says around 200 words but does not (yet) link them together. she understands instructions but one thing irritates me a lot: we do not get responses to yes/no questions from her. Non of her friends is like that. I mentioned it to HV but she is not worried (she is never worried about anything).

Do you think this is something to worry about? Any ideas how to help her with yes/no questions?

Maybe worth mentioning that she has trouble with glue ear and her hearing is not great (but not too bad either) and she grows up bilingual... but I don't think this should explain the lack of yes/no answers.

thanks,
elif

Hi Elif

I can't really help because my DS can't talk at all but the 'yes' 'no' thing can be very frsutrating. It's the making choices thing that therapists always talk about as being important.

As long as your DD can make clear her preferences/make a choice and communicate that to you in some way, I'm really not sure it sounds too bad, since she has a lot of words and seems to be still quite young - but then I'm not a SALT.

If you're very worried, ask GP and see if he will refer to SALT for assessment.

I've cared for a lot of children this age but not come across this before. Is it that she cannot make a choice - by that I mean if you ask he to choose between two things or two activities can she do that - or is it just that she refuses to use the words yes and no?

DS was a bit like this when he was around 2 - would say no but didn't say yes till later - he would tend to repeat what you had offered him if he wanted it. Eg "would you like a peach?" he'd reply "want a peach".

We still struggle a bit to get him (3.3) to say yes to more open questions (eg did you enjoy xyz).

I have no idea whether it's significant of anything else (eg speech disorder/delay) but if your gut instinct is that her development is not how you'd expect for her age (given, of course, that there is so much variation between children at this age) try your GP as sookie suggests.

ds (3.9) has only recently got yes as a concept. He's been okay with no for a while - 'do want a peach?' 'No!' whereas if he did want one he'd say 'peach!'. We did a lot of work on yes & he got to the stage of saying 'want a peach .... yes!' I think the echolalia was giving his brain extra time to process. Now he'll just say 'yes!'. He doesn't get 'yes or no' though - if you say 'do you want a peach ... yes or no?' He'll just say 'yes or no'.

The SALT said that lots of language delayed children have problems with yes (NT children use no long before they start saying yes usually).

I'm not sure (in my ds's case anyway) it was echolalia without understanding exactly - he certainly seemed to understand the question. More that somehow the actual word "yes" took sooo much longer to come into play than the word no - rather similar to phlebas's ds actually.

Leonie, what does dd2 do when offered a choice? (Visually, not verbally I mean.)

Phlebas doesn't surprise me about no being used earlier in nt children as well - probably what they hear mummies adults say 90% of the time!)

I vividly remember when ds was about 11 months old he copied the noise I made when I, erm, belched . Quite funny really, though with hindsight funny in a kind of gallows humour way

What is happening with dd2 - is she in the 'system' of assessment?

OP sorry for hijack.

I have been told by speech and language therapist that she works on the principle that it's worth seeing children early even though some will sort themselves out because getting to those who need support early makes such a difference. The earlier you give these children support the better their outcomes so the wait and see approach may not be the best - although clearly it is the cheapest!

thanks for your replies... will see HV in 10 days again and raise it once again. HV recently went through a list (what DD says and what she understands) and says she is within the normal range and they can't refer her to SALT as she says far too many things. but this yes/no this is really bothering me.

DD can also tell me what she wants otherwise (e.g. "bed" when tired, "car" when she wants to go out with the car, "up" if she wants me to carry her etc.)

and she says "no" or "no, stop it" if she gets annoyed with something... so she can express dislike then...

when I offer DD a choice for things (eg apple in one hand, banana in the other) she can pick what she wants. but she could not do it on a verbal level only. she also seems to understand otherwise most of what we tell her...(do this, get that etc...)

She sounds like she's doing ok but just not as well as you feel she should. That should matter to the professionals but often doesn't.

I'd make very sure that you're not making an issue of trying to get her to make choices verbally as this could turn into a power game which she would inevitably win. Just model the appropriate answer for her each time and give lots of praise when she eventually does do it.

I hope your HV is a little more reassuring rather than dismissive this time.

she also has OP for glue ear (grommets in adenoids out) coming up. so sort of hope this will help.

but might get her seen by a SALT privately (at least for an assessment) if things don't pick up. this NHS wait and see and then sit forever on the waiting list is really stressing me out... and I feel we just waste time (especially if something is not OK) HV already said she doesn't want to refer her and even if she does, the waiting list is about a year

A year is a long time in a child's language development. If you can pay for private SALT hopefully that will set your mind at ease.

I childmind a little boy who's just had grommets fitted. The difference is amazing and his speech has really leapt forward. I think he'll still need SALT support to relearn a few thing though. We'll see.

There may also be a drop-in clinic - in my area (south London) there are Surestart drop-in speech & language workshops - your HV should certainly be able to tell you if they have them in your area.

(btw Leonie my ds's articulation sounds v similar to your dd2)

DC4 is almost 2y6m; I'd be overjoyed if he had 200 words (he probably has 50). All my DC were late talkers.

My gut feeling Elif is that you have nothing to worry about, especially as you are raising your child bilingually. The Yes/No answers is too subtle a characteristic to mean a lot at this age. The kind of SALT NHS offers isn't that effective below the age of ~3yo, btw.