i am desparately seeking help and advice for my little boy age 9. At present my little boy is in so much difficulty and at present has been diagnosed with having Attachment Disorder by CAHMS. I am most definetly not happy with this diagnoses as like many parents i have researched quite a lot on the disorder and my son just does not fit the criteria for this disorder. I shall give you a little more detail of my sons story.
During early pregnancy i had an operation to remove an ovarian cyst, a pregnancy test was not administerd so the surgeons and myself did not know i was pregnant. the birth was also very traumatic as i was in labour for an awfully long time resulting in baby opening his bowels and consuming his waste causing him distress which resulted in an emergency ceasarean section.
he was thriving as a baby, very alert, developed normally, was very quite forward with motor skills i'e walking, talking etc......It was when he was nearly 3 years old i started noticing a few things that was not quite right. He would line up his toy cars and if one was to be knocked out of place or moved from where he had put it he would become outraged resulting in headbanging episodes. He had an enjoyment of collecting stones until he found his real love which is robots, he adores them and still collects them to this day and has over 50 of them as this is all he ever asks for as presents. When he started nursery it became extremely stressful as everyday the teacher would call me to say that he was distructive in nursery and found it hard to play with the other children. He would often make friends but not keep them for long as he would only end up hurting them.
I eventually enterd him into mainstream nursery when he was 4 only to be confronted with the same problems. He had no attention span, would find it hard to engage with the rest of the children and eventually i took him out of the nursery as it became too stressful and i felt that the other parents were not happy. I had sought advice from my health visitor who then tried to offer parenting strategies of which i was already following as i am a very hands on mum and am always attentive to my childrens needs.
As he became older it got harder and harder to do normal everyday things as he would 'perform' on a normal shopping trip or even just going to visit family.
This all then prompted me to seek medical advice where i was referred to Dr Rabb at the child development clinic at heartlands hospital. It was here that my son was diagnosed with ADHD. his problems started to escalate and eventually i found myself being socailly deprived as we were never asked to family gatherings. he didn't make friends and i was starting to become extemelly worried. He would become startled at certain noises, didnt like certain noises even the tone of his little brothers voice will get to him and that still happens to this present day. To cut an extremely long story short his life has become upsettingly unsettled and this is what has bought your name to my attention.
my son has been excluded from mainstream school permanently because of his behaviour, there have been CAF meetings a CRISP in place assessments by CAHMS EDUCATIONAL PSYCH involvment and i just don't seem to be getting anywhere.
The ATTACHMENT DISORDER diagnosis has been given by CAHMS and deep down and as being his mum i feel in my heart that they havent carried out a proper assessment even though it has taken months to even get to this point and being told that they are still working with my son and they don't think that the diagnosis will change.
The only thing i feel that they can diagnose my son with this disorder is because of the birth and pregnancy.
I believe that my son may not have ATTACHMENT DISORDER because
A) I am his biological mother, and he has a stepfather that has been with us since he was a tiny baby
B)he has never been in care at all, never abused, never neglected etc.....
C) has always had a normal family enviroment
D) Has been loved and is loved and always being told he is loved and he never refuses a cuddle or family group hug with his siblings
E) he was fine up until the age of 2 going on 3 years old
BEHAVIOUR INCLUDES
1)disruptive
2) angry outbursts sometimes results in smashing things and throwing things
3) misbehaves when we take him out socially
4) unable to take a joke with anybody so i am always walking on eggshells incase a person says something that Kian don't understand
5) controlling, always has to be in the lead when playing games and cannot take loosing a game
6)cannot make friends easily or sustain friendships
7) opens and closes the fridge door a number of times to make sure that the door is properly closed
This is a few to name. Attachment Disorder just does not seem to fit the bill with him and i am finding it extremely hard to take it in, i just don't see him to have this disorder as he is a loving caring little boy and wouldn't even take part in donkey rides on a recent family holiday as he said it is cruel and the donkeys must hurt.
he now attends a key centre where he has also had a fixed term exclusion for his behaviour and is only able to attend a couple of hours in the afternoon of which is for only 2 days a week.
I feel that his case has been treated unfairly and he is no longer having a full and proper education and i just don't know what to do for the best.
I am in desperate need of help and advice for the sake of my little boy.
Thankyou for taking the time to read, i could go on forever with my sons story.