I'd love to chat with anyone with a mildly dyspraxic child - need to see where to next.

[needanothername]

Hi

My ds is 7 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia 2 years ago. We have had wonderful support and he has had two sessions of OT and has made huge progress. Like the majority of dyspraxics, he doesn't have all the potential problems that might face him. So far, the only problem in the classroom is his speed getting work done - although he has shown that he is capable with the stimulus of eg a timer. His language skills are and always have been excellent, his artistic ability is well beyond his age, and while the same cannot be said about his handwriting, it is about average for a boy of his age.

His real problems are that he hates P.E and any form of physical exercise, finds it very difficult to make friends (in fact, his friends are all girls and he really prefers adult company) and is incapable of following instructions. He is also a very messy eater and generally a messy child. He wakes early in the morning and until everyone else is up, he "creates" things in his bedroom, from paperchains to watercolours. Imagine the fallout!

We have kind of got used to the way life is with him, but I still feel that I'm not doing anything right by him and I don't know really how to handle him. He has just given up his swimming lessons (he hated them and I couldn't face the fighting any more) and we tried tennis instead, but he hates this too. Is it ok to just let him be? Is it ok for a boy of this age not to do anything extra-curricular and never to play with friends?

I need to chat. I'm struggling at the moment, finding him very difficult and feeling that I am doing everything wrong. I just want to make life better for him but find it difficult to distinguish between what is down to his dyspraxia and what is just him being difficult.

Anyonw out there that has anything to say to me?

Sorry ,have been away because my broadband went down .

Hope you had a better day today Ingles.Have just picked ds2 up from school and he is so happy there but still gets in a tiz about things.

A hundred times your post is so lovely,we have lots of lists as well and prompts for various things ,also when he was younger I did make things easier for him like replacing buttons with velcro etc ,it used to upset me when people suggested I was too soft because it wasn't laziness .

But today is a good day and hes fighting with one brother and drumming with the other and somehow I know he will be Ok...tomorrrow is another day?!

It's been so useful reading this thread, there seems to be a wide range of things described, but there are some really striking similarities. My ds had a very difficult birth, heart rate dropping to to very very low, and had an emergency CS (general because they didn't have enough time to do Spinal block) and then had grunting/respiratory problems in the first day.
Some of the things that resonate for me, apart from the more obvious non sportiness, are the mood swings and exitability. Does any one know why that be?

Hi everyone.... Thanks for your support Floaty and 100x
It's been and up and down week, rather like ds's moods
Was slightly despondent earlier this week to get a letter from the doctor saying referral has to come from school and there is currently a 2 yr waiting list for the Ed Psych
but then had a lovely phonecall from the same doctor today, saying she was concerned as "ds2 presents clear symptoms under the dyspraxic umbrella" (dr speak!) and she had spoken to the Community Paediatrician who had agreed to a developmental assessment in the next couple of weeks which should push him up the lists... On top of that the new Senco has assessed him and he started Fizzy fingers today ....
At last I'm getting somewhere....
Dr also kindly gave me this link to leaflets about Fizzy

A down day for us today,well not all down I suppose but I feel down about it.Sometimes I feel like we are in a maze with people calling to us to come towards them but just as we do it tgurns out to be a deasd end.Went to see a potential senior school for ds today,had visited without ds in the summer where they had been encouraging and seemed to have a good grasp of the issues and had some really good suggestions for differnetiating the curriculum etc.Different story at open morning today ,with ds in tow,...we could apply but they had a lot of competition this year for places,not sure if right placew etc etc.I was so angry I would never have taken ds there if they had not been positive before.

I would never send him somewhere where I didn't think he would flourish but am starting wonder if there is a school out there for him ,at least one within 50 miles of us .

We have a meeting with his current head on Friday so I suppose we will have to see what she has to say

Bump,anyone around?

Floaty, sorry it didn't go well. Do you know anyone in your area with a child with SN who could maybe recommend you a school/
?

Hi Floaty
Am sorry I missed your post earlier but even sorrier to see how you are feeling. Completely understandable to be despondent, I would be the same. What changed do you think?
Is this your first meeting with the head? Perhaps she will have some good suggestions... Have you tried asking here for recommendations in your area?
(btw...without doubt it's the schools loss if they don't want your son...)

Not had a great week here either

No party invitation last week when all the other boys in the class got one Invited another boy round and his Mum made all sorts of mutterings then overheard her arranging for someone else to go round. DS is totally unaware of all this but it breaks my heart. Then even the boys in his class who are meant to be his "friends" all ganged up on him last week, pushed him over and wouldn't let him get up.

Back on the home ed dream with you Ingles

Have appt with OT at beginning of November - don't think they will offer a huge amount as it seems to be the social side which is the main prob.

thanks for replying,we have a really close relationship with his current head as the school is really small so we have discussed it but need to be much more focused this time,to be honest I don't think there is a single school within a 50mile radius which we haven't considered,everyone with SEN seems to be in the same boat.The problem is he is quite unusual,I think its not too bad if you are bright with dyslexia but his problems seem to be quite difficult for schools to get their heads around.

In the end I am not sure it will be our choice most people seem in the end to end up where they can get in.Not sure what has chaged really other than they have managed to attract a higher level of applicants and a child like ds2 is expensive to have in the school and because he isn't statemented he comes with no money attached .

Anyway to day I went to see another small school,nice almos (as ds1 would say0 but could they offer him the level odf all round support and options to tailor the curriculum,who knows?

fatzak but at least ds isn't aware....
Sounds a complete nightmare Floaty.. What a worry. Is there no chance of your ds being statemented?
Ds has had a really great week... 2 playdates from new friends and a party. He even read out my his harvest poem at harvest festival
Only a small issue..his spellings are French this week.... As he can't even spell the most simple of words, despite being able to read them, the chances of him learning how to spell s'il vous plait are minimal

Hi

can I join in? ds2 was diagnosed at 4 with asd, but actually shows loads more signs of dyspraxia and it's that which causes the problems

His GP agrees and has asked for a new assessment (he didn't have a multi-disciplinary assessment first time round) and OT

He's basically a lovely, happy little boy - actually not so little as he's incredibly tall for his age (9) - but he's clumsy, his arms and legs always seem to be going off at odd angles, finds learning new skills very tricky, took ages to ride a bike, swim, catch a ball etc writing was torture until very recently and he still avoids it if he can, he's an incredibly messy and fussy eater, he loves Lego with a passion, he's not at all arty or musical, but now loves riding his bike and playing (or even better, watching) cricket - all those statistics

he's been very lucky with friends as he's been in the same group of boys since nursery and they've just got used to him, although social skills with people he doesn't know need a lot of work - much better with adults than unfamiliar children

he often gets bullied by children who don't know him - he looks odd so sticks out and then he reacts by getting upset and angry, which of course makes the bullies pick on him even more

he flaps when he's excited but this isn't a tic - it's more like a 'stim' (self-stimulating behaviour) - tics are much more fleeting and completely involuntary, ds2 actually enjoys flapping (I know loads more than I ever thought I would about tics cos ds1 has tourette's .. )

I'm very worried about secondary transfer as he's been so sheltered at primary and I know he'll be a target for older kids ...

ps his birth was relatively easy - it's very tempting to want to pin down a cause but very hard to do in practice. Babies are born with the cord around their neck all the time, it's really not a big deal - they're not being strangled as they're not breathing - cord compression can be extremely serious but doesn't happen that often and the fact that the cord is round a baby's neck doesn't neccessarily mean the cord has been compressed

Hi, really glad this thread is keeping on going - i have read it bawling my eyes out! I cannot believe how many people have a DD/Ds with the same dyspraxia difficulties that my DS1 has. Its just a relief to know that I am not the only mum going through this exprience.

My DS1 is 8, he didn't walk until 17 months, he was a bottom shuffler, he has always hated loud noises, we have tried many times but he can't ride a bike yet, he has an awkward running style, and he is also always ravenous - food is a big thing for him, his Handwriting is very difficult to read, sports day this year was just painful for him and me... He does play football at school and in a club every week - but he has just started becoming quite unhappy doing it as he says that no one passes to him. Last week when I picked him up from the after school footie club he went off and was a bit tearful - think he may want to give it up for a while.

He has had one or two close friends but they seem to be moving on a bit with other friends - he just seems to be so shy with boys his age and not be on the same wave length. And the whole invitations to parties thing is also upsetting. i have always tried to encourage playdates and have biggish parties for DS1 - but last year at school he got just one party invitation. even someone that i am very friendly with didn't invite DS to her sons football party - I can only assume that her Ds kicked up such a fuss about not wanting my DS to go - I found that very hard and cried about it a lot...

plus DS2, who is 7 is quite a confident outgoing boy, who is naturally good at football, can make lego creations easily and has lots of friends - So that can be hard for DS1 - but I really do try to bolster up DS1's confidence and praise him for all the things he is good at. He does have so many lovely qualities, he is so kind and caring, really funny, affectionate and honest. he is also very bright when is comes to science and maths.

I have asked DS1's school to look into helping DS1 - to try and get a dx and then poss some sessions with an OT... DS1's teacher said she would come back to me about that at parents evening.

Hey Josben it's hard sometimes isn't it. Your ds sounds alot like mine.

A question if anyone is still around.

Ds hates noise and chaos, so parties and morning drop off are very difficult with the children running around and loud.

He also says lunch is awful because it is chaos.

So have you done anything to help your dc?

I saw today how he really did shut down, and could barely listen to the teacher's instructions, obviously too much to take in.

I need to assess how much he is like this, will ask the school of course.

But do you keep on cracking on, knowing they are hating the noise?

Also we have chosen a small school on purpose, 16 in the class. So not really anywhere to move him to, except out of school.

Are any of you nice people still looking at this thread?

Not a good day, would love some advice...

Hi Marsha
Ds' OT is introducing a "brushing" programme to help him with his sensory probelms. It is meant to help with noise as well as tactile issues.

I do try to keep him away from really noisy places, but it is sudden loud sounds rather than constant noise which sets him off, IYSWIM.

Ooh great hello.

We're fortunately in a much better place this week (fingers crossed that it lasts). Turns out he was ill last week which made it all too much. Ds is getting to terms with the massive amount of free play they do in reception.

Like many here, he loves structure and knowing what is about to happen. But he is much, much better.

Still cannot handle parties though, clings and doesn't want to join in. Our tactic may be wrong as we turn up late.

Probably better to get there first so the build up in noise is gradual rather than blaring as soon as one walks in.

Hi again I used to be floaty (changed name because ds1 got to know!),just thought i would bring this topic back again,partly selfish as I seem to be having a bad day with it all at the moment.Just wish i knew what to do for the best.One day I think hes not too bad and will be fine in mainstream with support the next day I'm really down because I can't see how he is going to cope anywhere and will never manage the writing and organisation that you need for GCSEs...and the worst thing is that no one in RL ever really understands even though they all think they do.

Hellooo, lets get this thread going again I am the mother of a

early wakeing, loud talking, t-shirt chewing, baby loving, hand flapping, musical cook!

And reading all these posts has made me a bit teary and then I realised you were all here in september when I didn't know you existed and I could have really done with you as we were getting DS1's Dx! He's a beautiful, sweet just turned 10 year old who has always been a little bit different, but in a way that is so perfectly 'him' I never wanted a label. As he gets older though he needs a label to get help in school, so now we have DCD, ASD and ADHD which is probably enough labels for an entire class!

My main worry is that he has a Kypho/lordosis of his spine and weakness in his hips (well that and an ability to run quite happily in front of cars....)

Well I hope some of you come back and see this, TTFN.

Bourboncream, I know exactly what you mean, sometimes I can forget all about this as he looks so happy and fine, and none of my friends can really relate to me because he has all his limbs functioning and he runs about with his friends, and there is something endearing about him falling over and running into things. The fact that if any of them try to speak to him he says 'goodnight' in a silly voice and pretends to be asleep standing up....

To help with your GCSE worries, our OT has recommended to school that he has a laptop to do all his work on and he will be able to sit his later exams using this, which is much easier than trying to write apparently. (of cours this presumes he will be able to keep track of where the laptop is!)

Thanks for replying,the highs and lows of this are so difficult to cope with...bad day today,can't explain at the moment but so good to hear from others in same boat.Can you explain more about the kypoholordosis just googled it and I think it is porobably what ds has

He has a slightly pronounced 'hump' for want of a better word, at the top of his spine which curves down to a pronounced inward curve in the lower portion of his spine. He is straight from left to right but's' (actually more of an 'f' really!) shaped from front to back IYSWIM. I really hadn't noticed until the consultant told me to look and then swept his hand down DS' spine, I was gobsmacked as I'm a radiographer and I really think I should have noticed. Oddly, for all this leaning difficulties this prognosis is the one the SENCO jumped to because it means we can get funding to help off the back of this. It's this and the weakness in his hips (fog test strongly positive apparently), that make me saddest as he's such a happy go lucky little soul, not connecting totally with the world works so well for him .

I hope today has gone better for you.