I'd love to chat with anyone with a mildly dyspraxic child - need to see where to next.

[needanothername]

Hi

My ds is 7 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia 2 years ago. We have had wonderful support and he has had two sessions of OT and has made huge progress. Like the majority of dyspraxics, he doesn't have all the potential problems that might face him. So far, the only problem in the classroom is his speed getting work done - although he has shown that he is capable with the stimulus of eg a timer. His language skills are and always have been excellent, his artistic ability is well beyond his age, and while the same cannot be said about his handwriting, it is about average for a boy of his age.

His real problems are that he hates P.E and any form of physical exercise, finds it very difficult to make friends (in fact, his friends are all girls and he really prefers adult company) and is incapable of following instructions. He is also a very messy eater and generally a messy child. He wakes early in the morning and until everyone else is up, he "creates" things in his bedroom, from paperchains to watercolours. Imagine the fallout!

We have kind of got used to the way life is with him, but I still feel that I'm not doing anything right by him and I don't know really how to handle him. He has just given up his swimming lessons (he hated them and I couldn't face the fighting any more) and we tried tennis instead, but he hates this too. Is it ok to just let him be? Is it ok for a boy of this age not to do anything extra-curricular and never to play with friends?

I need to chat. I'm struggling at the moment, finding him very difficult and feeling that I am doing everything wrong. I just want to make life better for him but find it difficult to distinguish between what is down to his dyspraxia and what is just him being difficult.

Anyonw out there that has anything to say to me?

We had a wee cord moment too but no resuscitation or anything. I think ingles feels guilty because she hadn't considered that that was a factor - is that right?

There, you see, we are all not alone. I have felt so much better since you all joined in and gave me your stories. Sometimes it's very easy to feel alone and like no-one knows what it's like, but this thread proves that very, very many of us are having very similar experiences.

Sorry, posts crossed again. Seem to be doing that a lot. Need to type faster.

Thanks nan

ah sorry.

ds hit the milestones (rolled earlier than most) until walking which he didn't really do until 14 months (still average though) and then always ran to keep his balance. I suppose that is the point we could/should have noticed but willingly listened to those who were positive (as you do) and were naive as to the "norm" (he was a pfb!). Shy , quiet and less physical suited us fine. By 3 it was pretty evident in retrospect but again too many people said he was fine and at the end of the day that is what you want to believe. Finally his teacher gently suggested he be assessed at 6 ...

Mmm - we were a cord around the neck too - didn't know there was a link there. Like you needanothername, no resucitation but needed to get him out quickly!!

I was just telling Dh about this thread...
I can't believe there are so many similarities.
Have to say it's making me feel much better

I don't think we were cord around neck but he was back to back and a forceps delivery,like LIZS we didn't resally notice things until walking ;22 months for us .His speech was also slow but not slow enough to be registered as a problem ,he read early but struggled with the classroom enviroment etc .He has low muscle tone and a couple of other genetic markers so has had soem genetic testing when we thought that maybe it would help to have apositive diagnosis but no results and to be honest we have called a halt to any more medical stuff as he doesn't need it .

DS1 was a breech baby and delivered by CS.

He didn't walk until he was 18 months. Was slow to speak but once he got the hang of it we couldn't shut him up.

He has refused to ride a bike. Recently, however, he has mastered a scooter which has been a big thing for him. He can join in with he other kids on our street a bit more.

He also loves babies.

He is bright but so negative. His family nickname is Simon Cowell - he can be quite cutting at times.

This thread has been great because sometimes I have blamed myself for his problems.

Marking for later.

Dd1 is 8 and is being assessed for dyspraxia.

She matches most fo your lists, except is fussy with food and hates animals!!

Hi all .... I'm having a bad day today
ds was very negative this morning. Didn't want to go to school, his recurrent tummy ache was back (again) no-body likes him or wants to play with him, and some sobbing at the gate...

have been fantasising about winning the lottery and home ed'ing him instead of working..
just want to cry really.....

will come back later,as at work,but just wanted to let yu know that you are not on your own!

Ingles

When things were really bad at school for DS I was just like you - I used to just sob and wonder how on earth I could home ed and not have to work. I would spend hours looking at cheaper houses and try to work out just how we could manage on DH's wage. Thankfully we are at better stage at the moment and DS actually has a friend round to play as we speak.

Hope that things get easier for you and DS

Thanks Fatzak and Floaty ...
Well I picked him up from school and he seems to have had a reasonable day. He is still saying no-one plays with him but he went to fun science club and enjoyed that.
Tbh I'm finding the moods and emotion really hard to deal with atm. It's that waiting on tenterhooks feeling and then the relief if things are ok,... or not.
Have a meeting with the school tomorrow, so hopefully things are going to start moving...

Hello everybody, how nice to find you.

Dd1 is 4 and has just started school, and you are all describing her! What a strange feeling. I have been feeling miserable today following a meeting with the SENCo (started a thread about it), as I feel I am starting to define her entirely in terms of her shortcomings.

How lovely to read your list of positives, ingles. He sounds rather like my dd1.... she is very imaginative, thinks up curious and interesting questions, uses language in the most delicate, precise and impressive way, loves babies and mothering younger children.

But I am worried about whether she will make friends at school. She seems to be refusing to play with other children, even though they are coming and asking her in the playground. I don't know why. She has a good friend starting in her class this week, so I am on tenterhooks waiting to see whether this is a breakthrough moment or whether the friendship will founder.

Dd1 hasn't been diagnosed with dyspraxia - the OT said he didn't like the term (I'm going to try to see another OT) - but all of your descriptions fit her exactly. Even the negativity, which is interesting.

Also - another difficult birth here - ventouse, with a cord moment. I find this thought very difficult to deal with, the idea that she may have been damaged.

... I really should finish thinking before I press 'post', shouldn't I? - Just wanted to add that dd1 handflaps and stamps when she gets excited. It's kind of sweet but I am getting anxious about whether it will become a social issue for her.

Hi everyone
I have an 8 year old ds who is (mildly) dyspraxic.

He sounds as if he is the twin of Ingles' ds. He is over-sensitive to most things - people, noise, clothing etc. He can ride his bike but not up hill (so he doesn't ride it), he has low self esteem, gets easily frustrated, has appalling handwriting, finds making friends difficult, and is the messiest eater in the school.

On the plus side, he is very caring, loves youger children, has a wicked sense of humour, is obsesed with history (currently reading the Usborne history of Britain), is very brave and loves his younger sister.

I have cried so much about him and his problems at school and wait with bated breath at 3.20 to see how his day has gone. Sometimes he has no-one to play with and it breaks my heart. Oh god, I am making myself cry now!!

I also find the start of term frustratingm when I have to tell his teacher about his problems and the best way of handling him. They do not appear to communicate in his school. BY the way, does anyone know where I can buy trousers with no fly? DS will not/cannot use the fly.

MelonCauli

The angst of picking up at 3.30 is just awful isn't it?

I took DS into his classroom today which is rare (he wanted to show me his sticker chart!!) One of the other boys was handing out party invitations and I hung around as long as I could to see if DS got one! He still had a pile in his hand when I had to go, but I am dreading him coming home without one There's only 14 in his year as it's a shared Yr1/2 so I'm so hoping that it's one where they invite them all.

We are very lucky that school are fantastic with DS although we did move schools after reception as his old place were dreadful He also had a maternity cover when he first started Yr1 who didn't deal with him well - gave him a red mat to sit on which was meant to make him sit still Instead, it just made the others in the class think that he was a naughty boy and somehow different to them His classteacher this year is SENCO so has much better strategies!!

omg, so many similarities, far more than I'd read about!

ds had difficult birth (had been breech, cord round neck), cdn't feed, v late walker,

tricky balance still on a bike, v messy, v picky eater, v oversensitive, negative, v bad at sports, gives up easiy, poor sequencing, messy writing, finds it difficult to make friends, prefers girls, often left out.

I had no idea there were so many of us with such children on MN - regular support thread would be good, what do you reckon? As someone said, little recognition/understanding of dyspraxia compared with dyselxia.

has anyone ever been along to any dyspraxia/dcd support groups or kids' activity groups? Wondering whether to bother as ds has only moderate/mild dyspraxia but maybe would help. unless anyone nearby ish fancies meeting up with similar-aged child?

Hmm. It's interesting reading this because some of it is true of my mildy dyspraxic ds, and some isn't. I think we're in a wide bracket of characteristics here people. Your son walked at 9 months Ingles! Someone elses son can draw beautifully!

The best thing I've found for controlling the behaviours which are basically a sign of stress - frustration/ anger, chewing, anger again, negativity is to get REALLY REALLY eye-wateringly organized.

You'd be amazed how much of a difference it makes, and how it reduces their stress levels.

Lists on the door of what they need each day, shoes in the same place, encourage them to say out loud what they need and check it against the list.

Talk about the day ahead - encourage them to talk about it too. In as painful detail as is necessary.

If younger - we had this - a v. jolly helpful note in the toilet to remind them what order to do things in: pants down, pee, pull up trousers, wash hands, flush loo.

That's helped us. DS2 is actually really, really wonderful. He's funny and smart, and messy and distracted and sweet and thoughtful and a bit out to lunch. I adore him. He's not bad with friends, and has found v. impressive compensating strategies for the sports problems - ie. he decides to be the referee at playtime.

Also he's got a great sense of humour - you need to USE this. I once fell off the bed laughing as ds2 described to me in toe-curling detail - and with great amusement - how he completely failed to hit the ball in an open goal. It's okay! Don't wince about it.

Find what they're good at, go for that. It increases confidence. My ds2 likes singing for instance.

DS2 is nearly ten, and lots of his sensory stuff is much improved. He'll chew now, sort of. And wear clothes! Go to parties - noise isn't always such a problem.

Give him space OP to be in his room, to order his universe. The rest of the day, and other people, can be a huge strain.

Encourage him to be himself.

btw Ingles - ds1 was a ticker - and he's not got a dx of anything! He used to hand flap, roll his eyes, do all kinds of odd things. He's nearly 12 and he seems to have grown out. He used to do it when excited in particular.

Just realised ds has come home without his spellings or his cello. Not bad for a Tuesday .

DS walked at 9.5 months. I think that is why I had trouble realising that he was realitively weak. He has hypermobility but only in his upper body.

He also had a difficult birth - ventouse after getting distressed.

Ooh, NewPenName, a support thread would be great. Anyone else think so?

Oh, no, did I kill it?

DD is 8 and dyspraxic, mildly dyslexic and hasan extremely poor "working memory" according to the Ed Psch. She gets no support.

She struggles getting dressed, I still dress/undressed her in the mornings and at night as it would take too long otherwise. She struggles with a knife and fork still.

Her handwriting is awful, but quite good at drawing. Likes making crafty stuff. Terrible memory, never hands stuff in at school and forgets to bring letters/pe kit back, etc.

She can't handle noise and every party i nthe village hall we spend the party in the foyer as she won't go into the disco but wants to still go.

She can't swim but can ride a bike. She gets very frustrated and gives up very easily.

She's popular at school and has plenty of friends. She seems happy enough apart from when having a melt down becasue she can't do something.