EBSA - new school / rigid thinking on old school help

[angelofmydreams1981]

Support welcome - I have used AI to pull it together coherently .

Hi everyone,

I’d really appreciate some advice or hearing from others who’ve been through something similar.

My daughter is autistic (PDA profile) and currently experiencing EBSA. She hasn’t been in school for about 4 weeks and has significant anxiety around school, including physical symptoms like stomach pain.

She’s currently at a mainstream prep school and we’ve been looking at transition to senior. However, it’s becoming clear that the senior environment is unlikely to be able to meet her needs, and we’re concerned it would be too high pressure for her.

We’ve started the EHCP process, but it won’t be finalised in time for September.

We have identified an alternative school that is much more suitable, and she’s done taster days there where she actually engaged really well and said she enjoyed it. So we know she can access education in the right environment.

The difficulty is the transition. She is very attached to her current school and friends and is now saying:

• she doesn’t want to move

• she will “force herself” to go back even if she feels unwell

• she “won’t go anywhere else”

It feels very much like anxiety and need for control rather than a true reflection of what she can manage—but it’s very intense.

We’re trying not to push too hard (as that escalates things), but we also know staying where she is isn’t sustainable.

Has anyone navigated something similar?

In particular:

• how did you handle the transition without triggering full refusal?

• did your child initially reject the new school but then settle?

• any tips for keeping friendships going through a move?

• anything you wish you’d done differently?

We’re also about to go on holiday, so trying to park things for now and come back to it calmly.

Thank you so much—this feels like a bit of a tightrope at the moment.

Where are you in the EHCP process? What week are you on? Is alternative provision in place?

Personally, I wouldn’t move until you either have a finalised EHCP or a refusal to assess or refusal to issue. I say this because, although it is unlawful, LAs sometimes use a recent move as a reason to refuse on the pretext DC need time to settle. As I say, it is unlawful but appealing would still add time. There is no guarantee you won’t have to appeal anyway, but you don’t want to hand the LA a reason on a plate.

Also, moving without further support in place may be setting the placement up to fail. And it may mean two moves in quick succession because there is no guarantee the placement will be named in the EHCP.

However, if you want to move, will the new school offer further taster days? Will they enable an enhanced transition with DD visiting each week? Can you facilitate contact with some of the pupils in the new school?

I would also discuss with DD that friendships change in secondary school. They might not be the same as they are now.

we had refusal to assess over turned in February - EPs visiting house in two weeks as she’s not going into school. We will not move I don’t think cos she’s refusing but this is about senior school it’s an all through school and I know she won’t cope on the senior school side as she’s already not been into the prep for a month, cos she’s not well. Anxiety is somatic.

there is no chance of a finalised EHCP before we have to make a decision for Sept we have until May 29th to tell the Senior school or we are liable for 10k in fees

As well as an EP assessment, have you requested SALT, OT and clinical psychologist &/or psychiatrist?

If the LA conceded a refusal to assess appeal or SENDIST Ordered the LA assess in Feb, you may well have a decision by 29th May. If they LA is not going to issue, they have 10 weeks to inform you. If they are going to issue, they have 14 weeks to finalise.

Yes they will offer taster days with her anxiety she has been going there for taster days now she’s doing this rigid thinking around her current school - saying she’ll force herself in… she cannot cope with that Senior School tbh I think they’ll maybe retract the offer … that they can’t meet her needs - she’s saying she won’t go to school
at all if she can’t go there - I’m panicking here big time cos I know how rigid her rigid thinking is

No just EP, I’ve done OT and SALt privately

Also the schools I would like have waiting lists specialist Independant - I need to go and visit them

Feb 23rd

Do I request those reports from the LA? Or do they suggest them?

Trying to find a psychiatrist with availabilty

Are the SALT and OT up to date and written in the right way for the EHCP by someone with experience of writing reports for Tribunal?

You can request the LA seeks advice and information from a psychologist &/or psychiatrist as part of the EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. I would request this because their evidence will contribute to ensuring the right therapeutic provision for DD’s anxiety, wider MH and rigid thinking is in the EHCP.

Are the specialist independents wholly independent or section 41 independents? It is important to know. At this point, I would be careful about telling the OP that is what you will be pursuing. Otherwise you may find they refuse to issue even if they were going to issue before finding that out.

Yes SALT and OT are up to date and written in the right way. I’ll have a look for the letter. They are s41 independents so ok I won’t say anything about them at this stage. The school she’s attending is a wholly mainstream independent and not right - the taster days have been at another mainstream Independant but it caters for many SEN kids and several with EHCPs

So I say nothing to the EP at all?

It’d be hard for them to refuse to issues she’s literally at home with anxiety … and the tribunal bollocksd the LA and said a mainstream may not be right for DC

who is a good SEN advocate I could work with?

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be hard for the LA to refuse to issue. LAs act unlawfully all the time. It is why so many appeals are upheld. This still applies even when the LA is faced with overwhelming evidence. Refusing and forcing you to appeal kicks the can down the road. It saves them money in the short term, especially if they know you will be going after a costly placement.

I didn’t say don’t say anything to the EP at all. You certainly should. It can be helpful to make a timeline of events/any previous assessments, etc. Also think about making notes on things like developmental history, needs/difficulties, likes/dislikes/what makes DD happy, what support is already in place, what has previously been tried, what worked/didn’t work, what is needed but unable to be delivered, what is important to DD/you and what is important for DD, how DD communicates/how others communicate with her, aspirations, what you think DD needs, a bit about family/any other important people in DD’s life. At the end of the meeting, finish by asking them to ensure the report is detailed, specified and quantified and to send you a copy of the report once it is written.

It can also help to write a list of questions to ask the EP such as what assessments will be undertaken, what observations will be done, how long they will spend with DD. Ask if the EP will make recommendations for the need for further assessments where they believe they are necessary - sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.

What you should be careful about saying is that you will be pursuing an independent SS.

If the schools are s41 independents, they don’t have waiting lists like admissions without an EHCP to mainstream schools do. There are limited reasons the LA can refuse to name your preference and on its own being ‘full’, which is not fined in law, is not enough of a reason. The LA has to prove the school is so full placing DC there would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others or efficient use of resources. The bar to prove this is higher than LAs and many schools admit. It has to be something tangible and specific and is more than an “adverse effect”, “impact on” or “prejudicial to”. And you don’t need an offer of a place from the school. Section 41 independents can be named even if they object.

I would be careful with an advocate. It is an unregulated business. While there are some good ones. Some do more harm than good.

@ChasingMoreSleepthjs is phenomenal!! Thank you so much. Where can I obtain this knowledge? Should I instruct solicitors?

IPSEA and SOSSEN’s websites as well as the SENCOP are good starting points to start to learn about SEN law.

You don’t need solicitors. Even if you did want representation, I would save your money in case you need to appeal refusal to issue &/or content/placement. If money is tight, you should save your money for independent assessments should you need to appeal again. The best representation in the country can only work with the evidence.

Thanks @ChasingMoreSleepi do have the reports I guess I’ll need a Pvte EP report if there is a refusal to issue or a poor plan…
this isn’t easy! Thank you so much I’ve written to our EHCp offer using the IpSEA template for the psychiatrist assessment

If you have to appeal a refusal to issue &/or the content/placement, you may need updated SALT and OT assessments or addendums.

ok Thanks thr SalT is Oct 2025 and the OT Feb 2026 (it actually didn’t make it into the bundle :(

Any other tips welcome - I want to write to the EP before hand about her anxiety although I’ve menuitord it on the phone … any other ideas?

Hi @angelofmydreams1981 ❤️

I'm sorry, I have no advice but want to offer solidarity

We're still relatively early on in the year. Dd might come around?

Would it be helpful to take the choice out of her hands this once? I know that her pda profile is a worry, but i wonder whether just making the choice after the holiday will give her time?

Just from experience, the better the devil you know sometimes, which might be what she is feeling more than anything else, but doesn't understand the feeling

Its tough but it sounds like youve done well to sort this place. For me its a non negotiable to accept it tbh and let her come to terms with moving x

Thanks @mumofoneAloneandwellshes so so anxious … I need to find some anti anxiety meds for her… I think it needs tackling potentially.

Yeah definitely chat to the gp about anxiety meds, as it could be a great help - they take a while to kick in but maybe by September she will be a bit better on that front x

Be aware not all GPs are willing to prescribe medication for anxiety to children without it being initiated by a psychiatrist.

Yes im seeking a psychiatrist at the moment! They’re all booked up!!!