Worried about my son - sensitive info

[Worriz]

My son is 6. He was diagnosed with autism at age 3 and it was picked up v early. Nursery said they couldn't cope as he was v angry then. but hes doing well in mainstream school these days. Im v proud of his progress in lots of ways.

But im not able to respond to these issues v well. He had an OT but the OT discharged him saying he was making excellent progress. Ehcp is 10 months behind the 20 week deadline.

1. He is obsessed with his own willy. Rubbing it. Getting it out. He is always ripping his pants.

1. He is obsessed with trying to smell people particularly their bums. He smells his younger brothers bum all the time. Trying to go up my skirt.

1. He used to get huge meltdowns but made lots of progress following advice online. Now hes is v happy and kind most of the time but occasionally he snaps and is v violent to his younger brother. His younger brother will be annoying him and then suddenly he grabs DS3 throat or throws something at him. In that moment he seems to have no sense of how serious it it but afterwards is v sorry.

The school say they see v little of any of this. But I've heard other kids talk to each other about the first 2 behaviours.

I really worry for my younger son. I also really worry my autistic is going to get himself into serious trouble. In my worst sleepless nights I worry hes going to turn into a predatory man.

Nothing I seem to say works. All of the behaviours above seem instinctive and primal even. Like he leaps on his brother to try and smell him in a way that feel uncontrollable.

He is verbal. In mainstream.

Any advice?

Have you sent the relevant IPSEA model letter to the LA about their breach of the EHCP timescales? If not, do that. If you have, but it hasn’t worked, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with this, but there is a wait so you may want to look elsewhere. Then, if a pre-action letter doesn’t work, JR proceedings will.

OT can be in the EHCP even if DS doesn’t meet the NHS threshold. Was an OT, including sensory OT assessment, part of the EHCNA?

No.1 can be normal even in DC who don’t have SEN. Keep reminding DS it is private and something he should only do in his bedroom. Then reinforce that message every time. If social stories work for DS, you could try that. For the ripping pants, have you tried different types of pants? Some find clothes DC can’t easily take off/access helps. If this is new, I would also go to the GP to rule out anything physical.

No.2 is less common, but not unheard of. Does DS get the opportunity for lots of sensory input around smells? To break the habit of going up your skirt, I would try to not wear skirts whilst you work on other elements.

For no.3, what support with emotional regulation is DS receiving? Have you tried keeping a detail diary to spot triggers? Moving anything heavy/dangerous DS can throw out of reach will help with the throwing. It also sounds like DS needs more supervision when around DC2. Not easy, but sounds necessary. If home start work in your area, contact them. Have you looked at your local short breaks offer? Also, social care assessments - on their website, Contact has model letters you can use.

I'd speak to a psychiatrist. If behaviour is compulsive, ingrained and harmful, he might need medication supported therapy. Does he show signs of ADHD? If he has undiagnosed ADHD, this could explain his lack of impulse control and he might respond to ADHD meds. In the meantime, experimenting with other smells and finding something more socially acceptable he could carry around to smell might help.

I think sensory stuff to do with smell is v common for autistic DC. DD doesn't do these exact things but has an incredible sense of smell. And the little ND boy next door threw himself lengthwise on our new carpets and cried These.Smell.Amazing.

Come join us on the EHCP support thread.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5309128-ehcp-support-thread-no-5?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share