Dd7 started junior school in September, diagnosed in September with asd, pda, adhd & anxiety also in September. Dd is super high masking at school and explodes at home, full of anxiety. She is currrently meeting expectations academically, however struggles massively sensory wise, advocating for herself, communication wise and socially.
When we first started the school the home school link worker practically laughed when I mentioned the sen register, saying a diagnosis does not always mean being added. DD7 started school refusing a month or so into term, which triggered a call from the home school link worker again, I mentioned the sen register again and she said that by going on the register it would create targets for DD which might be more stressful and unhelpful (I didn't think children knew of the targets) but kind of hinted that it might be possible as I mentioned non academic targets.
Anyway the senco finally agreed to meet me (beginning November) with the HSLW, L-spa and class teacher after I pushed back. Adjustments were agreed such as uniform, brain breaks, fidgets, ear defenders etc. I asked about further things such as a nurture farm they use sometimes, art therapy and was basically told maybe, but there is money constraints etc. Dd is doing a worry intervention with the teacher once a week but that's pretty much it. School said they don't want to overload her with interventions so they can see what is working and what isn't, fair enough. I mentioned i would apply for ehcp myself as the school don't see any behaviours and the l-spa basically told me not to bother. I said I still was going to anyway based on her psych report and only 70% of pda'ers being in school. The only thing I didn't mention at the meeting was the sen register as the meeting had over run and to be honest I didn't feel confident asking the senco about it at the time. I recorded the meeting on my phone for my own personal use.
Anyway, since then there's been 1 parents evening and another is coming up soon. I wasnt able to book with the senco for either, so I emailed asking if it would be possible to book. I was told all spaces were now gone so speak to class teacher for all things. I then emailed back and said ok but I don't seem to get given the chance to book the senco slot at all (no drop down menu) and asked why and could this be sorted so next parents evening I get the drop down menu come up and all the slots don't go, and was basically told...
"When we all met last term with the LSPA representative, we discussed the decision regarding X's status on the SEN register. It was concluded at that time that it was not needed for X to be placed on that register, and as such, no plan was established for that to occur. This being the case, parents evening slots will not be an option for a SENCO appointment. It is worth noting that all class teachers are teachers of SEND and should be the first point of communication around SEND needs, 'her teacher' will be best placed to discuss X and her needs".
I'm not sure how to reply as I categorically know we did not discuss this at the meeting (recorded it, obvs I cant disclose that) and I don't want to sour any relationship but that didn't happen.
If we can't have regular meetings to discuss what dd is doing/isn't doing intervention wise then how is it all being recorded and followed up? I'm keen to make a paper trail of evidence so that if my daughter starts to unmask we don't have to work from the beginning. Just because she is 'fine at school she isn't fine at home. Her teacher is utterly fantastic and goes above and beyond (checking in on her, explaining things, getting involved in social issues that arise, she is just amazing!) but ultimately it isn't enough. She is still so anxious and struggles to go in every day so her needs aren't being met if she is still so explosive at home.
I feel like I need a degree in send law to handle this. Should I just forget the send register and just apply for an ehcp anyway?