EHCP, special nursery, mainstream vs independant school

[Lilacfish23]

Hello,

I realise this is a very long post however I have tried to keep to the point as much as I can. I am seeking to hear from parents who have expericned or have wisdom about the best way to go through the EHCP application process. I have heard already that the waiting list in KCC is extremely long and with this authority rejection is renowned.

My son is currently at a Speiclaist assessment nursery while also attending mainstream. Both settings have advised that he will need an EHCP to attend a mainstream school and most likely full time assistant to be with him. I am very conscious of the time slipping away and he is due to start school in September 2025.

He is awaiting an assessment for ASC, is non verbal and has relatively high needs when it comes to sensory processing, he makes quite consistent shouting noises and needs to constantly run and jump to regulate himself.

I have not had good experiences while looking around mainstream primary schools recently and when I’ve mentioned my DCs needs there has been apparently a lot of anxiety, wether I am speaking to the head or the schools senco. I know this is most likely to do with fears around will they be able to meet my sons needs and how stretched they are, however it has not been encouraging that he will find his place whatsoever, with one teacher saying that they will tell it to me straight - if a child has a severe disability then they cannot support them - when I asked what they would consider a severe disability they said a child that couldn’t follow along with the day.

I also look on in horror when I see that by year 1 in a class of 30+ the kids are sitting still mostly all day and raising their hands to speak. Alongside this the expectations of reading and writing that start…

I have two main questions for anyone who feels open to share what it was like for them,

Would my Dc stand a better chance of getting his EHCP granted if the Speiclaist nursery start his application, which they are planning to do in the next few weeks… or am I better off doing this myself to get it started as soon as possible? Will it make a difference either way?

The second question, does anyone have experience and guidance in getting an EHCP granted for their child where funding was provided for an independent setting?

If mainstream is so stretched and concerned about meeting my sons needs and the KCC will push this before a Speiclaist school place is given, I am determined to find a place that will help my son to be more accepted. A recent visit to an independent school with the most modest fees I have found, was like light and day, where the Senco made both of us feel very welcome and immediately started noting my DCs strengths. They have numbers of 14 -16 from reception to year 5 and at least two TAs in these classes. However being a single parent it is just completely out of my financial remit to even think about this option but I am already considering how I can take on another job to make this a viable option.

Like so many parents I am determined to get a place for my DC where he isn’t seen as a problem or anxiety and people can perhaps see all the light and richness he has to offer as well as the support he needs.

I would appreciate to hear your experiences so I can then digest it a bit and decide what is the best way to go forward.

I also ask politely if anyone feels triggered and inclined to attack or critisize I would rather not hear from you as my skin feels quite porous at the moment,

thank you and warmly,

Thanks for sharing that perspective. It sounds like you feel quite strongly about the challenges around funding and support for SEN children, especially those without EHCPs, and I can understand how frustrating it must feel when those needs go unmet. I’ve noticed that many of us caring for or parenting children, children with severe SEN needs, children with complex needs, the list goes on seem to have a lot of unmet needs ourselves —it’s almost as if there’s just not enough support to go around full stop.

I came on here looking to find a supportive community as I go through the EHCP process for my child, since that’s key for him to transition from his specialist setting to either a specialist school or a mainstream school.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow

Thanks for sharing that perspective. It sounds like you feel quite strongly about the challenges around funding and support for SEN children, especially those without EHCPs, and I can understand how frustrating it must feel when those needs go unmet. I’ve noticed that many of us caring for or parenting children, children with severe SEN needs, children with complex needs, the list goes on seem to have a lot of unmet needs ourselves —it’s almost as if there’s just not enough support to go around full stop.
I came on here looking to find a supportive community as I go through the EHCP process for my child, since that’s key for him to transition from his specialist setting to either a specialist school or a mainstream school.

@Phineyj Good to hear from you and from a teachers perspective!

I do feel it can be healthy for children to be exposed to different brain types, abilities, and special needs. Rather than keeping children separate, there can be so much value for them to interact and learn from one another. It helps foster understanding, empathy, and a deeper appreciation for diversity and human lives.

These are children. 🤲🏼 🤍