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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Original poster

DS is being assessed this afternoon. Please hold my hand

78 replies

worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 14:10

Have name changed because I can't cope with being outed.

DS is spending the afternoon at our local school (which I desperately want him to attend) to see if they can accept him.

It really is last chance saloon. If they say no again today, it's HE or some sort of SEN school (which is going to be night on impossible to find or attend and it's not what DS needs)

There is nothing I can do. But, I am sitting here, unable to actually get myself to do anything useful. I have another hour to go.

Just need to talk to someone.

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UnChartered · 10/05/2012 15:59

{{hugs}} have to dash again - but keep posting and reading, there are some very knowledgeable people who post here, they will give you some very sound advice

madwomanintheattic · 10/05/2012 16:00

Oh, bless you.

Now you call the area inclusion at the LA and ask them to sort out a suitable placement and start the ball rolling for statement, as school are unable to accept him.

Think of it as a positive step, as now the LA will be forced to sort out what he needs.

Voidka · 10/05/2012 16:00

They said they wouldnt accept him?

madwomanintheattic · 10/05/2012 16:01

Sorry, area inclusion officer for early years at the LA. have you spoken to them before?

madwomanintheattic · 10/05/2012 16:02

The LA have to find a place for him. And support him. And they might decide this setting can cope with a statement, outreach support, and 1-1. And you will get the chance to request this school as the named school if you believe they can support him.

Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:00

They are simply saying that they are unable to cope with his behaviour in this setting

I am not sure, but I get the feeling that 'in this setting' is important wording to get out of having to deal with DS.

Trouble is, the setting that they do feel would be appropriate is unavailable. He doesn't need a 'special needs school' and wouldn't get a place (rightly, IMHO) in one anway. THere are far more deserving / needing pupils.

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Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:01

But, yes, they have said that they can't accept him.

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Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:05

Never heard of an area inclusion officer for Early Years. Will look into that now.

I knew this was coming, but it still really, really hurts. I think we are being encouraged to home school because they think we can afford it (we can't, but have done so up to now)

I suppose that would remove the problem for them, if we HE'ed. We don't have much choice now. Sad

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amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/05/2012 17:12

I would make it crystal clear you can't afford to HE. Surely a place has to be found for your son somewhere suitable why can't he have a statement?

Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:15

I don't know.

I am being told that statements aren't given anymore (this is what the school are saying)

We do have a diagnosis.

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Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:18

I should make it clear, that the setting they feel would be beneficial for DS is 1-2-1 education.

He is excelling with his tutor, so I can't really disagree with this, other than it doesn't redress the social issues.

I have offered half and half, but they cannot deal with the 1-2-1 aspects and won't only just have him in school for certain periods.

SO, we're buggered basically.

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Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:19

I knew all of this when I started this thread. I knew it was a NO.

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FreckledLeopard · 10/05/2012 17:23

Where in the country are you? Ignore the erroneous messages that statements aren't being given out. It is not true. Nor do you need the school to tell you that you can or can't apply for one. Contact IPSEA for information and have a look at their website.

If your DS is still young (not four yet), if you're anywhere in London/South West, could you fight for specialist, intensive provision at somewhere like the Rainbow School (www.beyondautism.org.uk/) which does intensive ABA and seemingly gets good outcomes. Bear in mind, that a special school doesn't have to be for ever. If your DS can get to the stage, via a special school, where he can cope in mainstream, then that could be an option?

Have you visited any other schools (mainstream or otherwise) in your area? Essentially, if you have the energy, the dedication (and often a good lawyer), you can get your son a place you consider best for him (either private or state, mainstream or special).

I know it's a lot of information to take in, but essentially you need to be bolshy, determined and navigate your way through the system.

Sending Thanks

OddBoots · 10/05/2012 17:24

Statements not being given any more is nonsense, I work with a child your son's age who got a statement (not autism) only a few weeks ago.

What do the nursery say? Are they working with anyone to get help for your ds? Who was it that gave you the diagnosis? If that was someone from the state (NHS or LEA) then they might be best place to guide you with moving forward as they are likely to see people in your situation most often.

Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:38

Thankyou all for your replies.

We are SE, but not London.

Nursery are being helpful, but it's a nursery. THey offer childcare. They know he'll be out of there in September.

I feel so worried about my DS's future.

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outtolunchagain · 10/05/2012 17:43

They can't just leave you too it,the LEA have to place your child appropriately.You should get the ball rolling ASAP ,I think the school are spinning you a line to just get the problem off their plate.Did you apply for a school place in the normal way ,I don't think they are allowed to say no,if that is the shook you have been allocated they have to take him

Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 17:47

This has been going on since nursery.

He is now due to start Reception in September (he never did go to thier pre school - I have only just got him into a nursery). THey are now saying they cannot accept him in Reception.

I am not denying he is challenging, defiant and an escapologist. He is hard work. Lots of things are beyond him right now.

But it does feel we're on our own here.

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Voidka · 10/05/2012 17:50

Which LA do you fall under? There might be someone on here that knows how it works in your area.

Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 10/05/2012 18:16

I'd rather not say, as it will identify me, IYSWIM.

Maybe when I'm feeling stronger. Right now, I am feeling so low.

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lancelottie · 10/05/2012 20:14

Not surprised you're feeling low. It's a really physical pain, isn't it?

DS got a statement despite the ed psych saying 'Oh you don't want to label him' and 'He'll never get a statement as you need to be two years behind' and other such guff. In fact he got 9and still has) a 32.5 hour statement in the end.

For this evening, though, i think you need tea, wine, chocolate and possibly a funny movie. The battle can start tomorrow.

eatyourveg · 10/05/2012 20:52

Have you considered a dual placement? Your preferred school for the morning and a specialist unit attached to a mainstream school for the afternoons. ds2 was at one of these here in Kent. ds3 did it too though only for nursery and half of reception. Your school may be more amenable to the idea if they knew it was a part time placement at least to begin with.

Usually you go from the unit into the school its attached to but you don't have to. We chose a different school where ds1 went. There was also another boy in the same year who spent half the week in his local village school and half the week in the unit. The idea is to slowly build up the time you are in the mainstream environment but you do it at a pace that the child can cope with. About 50% of the children were in mainstream full time by the end of ks1 One or two found it too tricky and got transferred to special school and the rest carried on gradually increasing their inclusion

It might be something to think about rather than HE. The statement names both schools school A with inclusion to school B

RandomMess · 10/05/2012 21:00

The LEA have to provide him with a school place even if the school is miles away and provide transport surely Confused

Post on the education section and get one of the MN experts to help you access what your ds is entitled to.

In the meantime a big hug, I can only imagine how this is making you feel.

madwomanintheattic · 10/05/2012 23:02

Yy, absolutely. The LA have to find him a place, and provide 1-1 support if that is what he needs. (and they are saying that is what he needs)

If he is due to start yr r in September, which schools did you put on your application form? Did you tick the box that says sn/ health?

I don't understand why you think you have to HE. The LA must offer him a place. And if settings are saying he needs 1-1 support, then you should not be paying for this. at all.

The LA should be picking up the tab for the 1-1 now, as well. For five x three hour sessions a week (up to you if you want to negotiate ft at this point). The LA should be paying for this. Not you. For the full 15 hours of that's what he needs.

Call your LA. get your paed to write to the education officer as well, specifying that he needs a suitable place and requesting that statutory assessment be carried out. Like yesterday.

What has the nursery said about transition to yr r? Where do they see him going? Ask them to contact the area inclusion officer and request that they carry out an assessment in the current setting to advise on transition.

The area inclusion officer for early years needs to get a grip, as you are being strung a line. Also contact your local NAS and ask of they have anyone that can offer local advice and support. Also contact your LA and ask to speak to the autism outreach teacher.

This is not good enough, and I am appalled that he has fallen through the cracks. He needs to be identified to the LA now, and they need to take responsibility.

Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 11/05/2012 07:10

I just feel so confused and insecure about the whole thing.

On one hand I am (basically) being told that my son can't cope with mainstream education and on the other, that he doesn't require / isn't able to get a statement of SN.

And then, I do get what you are all saying that a place has to be found for him, but this is not what I'm hearing when I go into the school. I'm paraphrasing, but the conclusion was that DS can not be adequately catered for in this setting and that I cannot expect everything to revolve around DS's agenda. I do not disagree that DS is extremely disruptive, which is why we settled on the 1-2-1 tutor

I want to continue with the 1-2-1 as this, at least, means his core skills (reading/ writing) are not slipping. But, I have no clue how to address the social skills (or even if I should)

God, it is so hard Sad

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Original poster
worrywortisworrying · 11/05/2012 07:34

Also (and thankyou all for your advice and support)...

... if I decided to HE DS, what support could I expect from the LEA? Could I expect them to pay for a tutor?

I would be happy to most of the HE myself (I'm pretty well qualified and enjoy that sort of thing) but being really honest, I need a break from DS otherwise, we will end up getting frustrated with each other.

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