Can anyone share their experiences of a child with dyspraxia please?

[OrmIrian]

DS2 has been a joy and a trial to us since he was born. So many things he struggled with, so many little 'oddities' that we just put down to his character. He was OK in school until year 3 - a bit slower to get started with reading and his writing was appalling but not exceptionally so amongst little boys. But in yr 3 we had our first slightly disconcerting parents evening - we had job share teachers and they were both telling is earnestly how lovely he was and how fond they were of him but that he was really struggling in numeracy and handwriting and he was going to be getting extra help. He has had extra help - one to-one maths and special hand-writing sessions - for over a year now and things haven't really moved on that much.

This year - new teacher, bit stricter and no nonsense - tells us that she wonders if he might have a hearing problem as he really doesn't seem to take in what is said. I took him to the GP who reckons there might be mild hearing loss in one ear - we are waiting for a referral now. But at parents evening she said that he had to have all instructions broken down into seperate bits before he could follow them. I posted the details of his IEP here and some kind soul suggested dyspraxia. I have googled and googled till my fingers are sore and the description fits DS2 like a glove.

Poor hand-writing.
Drawings are detailed but childish
Constantly dropping things and tripping over.
can't follow complex instructions
Works best one-to-one but struggles in class.
Can't concentrate.
Very childish (emotionally) compared with his peers.
He can ride a bike - although he took ages to learn - but both DH and I tacitly agree that he can never be allowed out on the pavement in our road without one of us simply because we know he'll come off it or hit the wall or something! The other 2 at that age were perfectly competent.

But intelligent and knowledgable as well as creative and imaginative.

I have spoken to the teacher about my concerns and she is going to raise it with the SENCO.

Please.

OrmIrian, my DS1 has mild dyspraxia and is now 17 and applying to university. A lot of the things that you mention get less important as they get older, or they get better at.

He has been typing most school work since he was diagnosed at the age of 12 and, for him, the quality of work when he types is much better because he doesn't have to concentrate on the writing itself. He has had help from the SENCO and he does need help at home to concentrate, but is able to keep up with school work.

He doesn't have to do any organised sport at school. And, because of his own problems, he is empathetic and is planning on a career that means working with others.

Does that help?

It does. Thankyou tobefair. Reassuring. Just to know for sure what is 'wrong' would be such a help.

Maths is always going to be a problem I think but his inability to write anything clearly is really getting in the way - he's quite good with a keyboard. Ball is in the school's court atm.

My DN has dyspraxia. Its the instructions and keeping to task, organising himself that my sister finds most challenging.

have you looked on the Dyspraxia UK website, she has found that very helpful and also the NZ one.
If you have any concerns I would get him asessed and then go from there. My understanding is that he can be allowed extra times for exams etc.
Also you could look at alternative therapies to help him, like the listening program and and brain gym...my sister hasn't tried them as she is not into alternative therapies, but they are meant to help some children.
What other sort of things do you want to know.

Thankyou mrslaughan.

I guess I just wanted reassurance that children with dyspraxia can manage at school. Atm it feels as if he is never going to get there . It's such hard work - for all of us!

Assuming he gets a diagnosis of course!

My Nephew is 9 going on 10, and highly intelligent. He manages at school, because the school is really supportive. It is still hardwork for his Mum. But I would say 2 things about DN, he has a difficult personality- just like his Dad, so how much of that is personality and how much is the dyspraxia? And I don't think my sister and her husband have done all they could to help him. My DS has issues (they don't have a label), he is 6. I am just exploring Brain gym and the listening program for him.......We will probably give both a go, to see if they can help him.....I am not sure if it's that my sister doesn't believe in these things, or if they just don't want to spend the money (and its not an issue of having the money to spend)....they have done very little outside of what the school does.
The other thing about Dyspraxia, is different children are affected differently by it.
When you talk about instructions broken down, that is not a hearing loss issue, that is about Auditory processing and auditory memory.....there are things you can investigate to help him with this. Speech therapist can do some therapy, and it is for this I am investigating the listening program for DS.....I will try anything that I feel will help him.

Thankyou.

I appreciate it isn't a hearing loss issue per se but as the GP identified there may be hearing loss it needs investigating too.

I would recommend working with the SENCO at your DS2's school. If they are good, they may be able to get the assessment process going, and organise more help in school. And he may also be able to get some help out of school, e.g. a referral to an occupational therapist, to work with the fine motor skills that he finds difficult.

If you do get him assessed by an educational psychologist, you should get a much better idea of his specific strengths and weaknesses, and some strategies to help. For instance, he might need to have a notebook that you and he uses to write down what he needs to remember. (My son had a homework diary for school, and we wrote in it everything he had to remember in school: things to do, things to bring home etc. Now, at 17, he does that for himself, but knows that he has to write things down to remember them.)

When he is older, if he is assessed as dyspraxic he is likely to be able to use a laptop in school and to get extra time in exams (e.g. 25% extra) and type exams. This may make a big difference to what he can achieve, especially if his handwriting is both untidy and very slow, like my DS's is.

I am writing from my perspective, as the mother of a much older boy, and from my own experience, so I hope that this has some relevance to what you're going through.

I would recommend the Dyspraxia Foundation as a good source of information and support. I believe there are local groups in some areas.

Finally, for my son, his assessment as being dyspraxic was one of the best days of his life! He had spent 12 years knowing that he was a bit different and that there were things that he couldn't do easily that others could. Knowing he had dyspraxia didn't make it go away, but gave it a name and also helped him access a lot more help. It is still hard work, both for him and still for us, but it has probably made him a nicer person that he would otherwise have been.

Thanks tobefair.

I am expecting any diagnosis to be a fairly good day too!
More for me than for him as his 'differences' don't much bother him as yet. But I can see a theme emerging - J needs extra help with X, J gets extra help with X, X improves slighhtly. Now J needs extra help with Y, J gets extra help with Y, Y improves slightly. X gets worse again. Which makes me wonder why the school haven't suggested dyspraxia before - which in turn makes me perhaps there isn't anything wrong after all.

His teacher told me that the SENCO is going to assess him initialy against a checklist - and then give me a report to give my GP. Apparently there is also a specialist coming into school (by chance) and she will try to see DS if she has time and then arrange to speak to me.

Homework diary sounds good. Even when he does remember something abut hw, it tends to come out a bit garbled. I often have to check with the teacher.

My daughter have both dyscalculia and dysparaxia. Her school didn't help us at all although i was keep saying there is something wrong for years!!!..Although she is very good at reading her level in maths is year 2 level and she is in year 6.
She is in Action plus in her school but to be honest i really can't see they do anything so we decided to go for private.In december she is starting maths lessons in special education centre in london also she is starting to have theraphies from OT. I hope that would help her..

Another one with a dyspraxic DS here!

I would recommend going to your GP and getting referral to an occupational therapist who are best placed to give a dx. I would go sooner rather than later as OT support finishes at 11 around here and I don't think that is unusual. The OT helped a lot with ways of coping and she put together a programme that the school did with DS every morning.

DS also struggled with maths but eventually got put in a booster group and working in such a small group in a way that wasn't too formal and which the teacher tried to make fun, worked wonders. I think the problem with maths is that it is about following complex instructions and the working memory of a child with dyspraxia/DCD (The OT said dyspraxia is the symptom and DCD is the condition although not everybody is so pedantic about it). Anyway, with the help of the booster group, DS was 2% off a level5 with maths so there is hope.

The other thing that dyspraxics find difficult is transferring skills which might be another reason why maths is so difficult. You sort of build on what you can already do in maths iyswim so if you can't transfer what you already know to use in new concepts you might have to start from scratch learning what to do.

As you know yourself, dyspraxics aren't stupid, they just need to do things more often to make them engrained. They find ways of coping in the end.

Oh I forgot to say the lack of concentration can be down to sensory issues. The classroom might be too noisy or there might be too much movement going on. It might be worth the teacher trying your DS out in different positions in the class - maybe sit him at the front so he is not distracted by the movement of all the children in front of him or sit him at the back so he only has people on one side, that sort of thing. You have to work out what works best really.

My DS is a bit dyspraxic, mostly a motor skills issue: horrible handwriting and not great at eating nicely. He is 7 and steadily improving after a year or so of occupational therapy at school (and a couple of sessions outside school when he was in reception). Mind you, having googled a bit on it myself, I worked out that I probably am as well (poor spatial awareness and can't tell left from right very easily).
I can't offer much in the way of help, but just wanted to say, you're not alone.

Oh and another thing, the best book I have read on dyspraxia is Caged in Chaos which is written to help older dyspraxic children and their parents understand the condition. It is written by a teenager (who is now studying English at Cambridge I think) and is very readable but it was my DS to a tee. I tooks quite a lot of comfort from it because although it does say that life for dyspraxics is hard, it also gives you hope that it isn't the worst thing that could have happened and you can have a happy and successful life.

I'll shut up now. 3 posts on the trot is quite enough from me.

"intelligent and knowledgable as well as creative and imaginative"
this is exactly what i'm thinking about my daugter but slow,problem with short term memory, problem visiualizing, not mature enough compare to her peers, has no confidence,low self esteem, she has to watch same film 3-4 times to understand......etc

I am going to go a bit against the grain here.

My DS teacher suggested this to me at a teacher interview out of the blue, with an IEP already in place and the SENCO there. The main reasons were his handwriting was bad (it was) he couldn't tie his tie, he couldn't skip with a rope, and he took his shirt off over his head rather than undo the buttons.

I googled at home and discovered the list of "symptoms" seemed to fit my DS.

I took him to have his hearing tested at a private clinic it was fine.
I insisted he tied his own tie in the morning. He has a tendency to let others do things for him (yes lazy!) I made him undo his shirt buttons (very unfair when he sees his father take his shirt of over his head). The skipping was a struggle as he has zero interest in doing girls stuff, and from he was no age I couldn't get him to sit down with pencils and colour in.

Anyway, what I'm getting to is that he is / was immature for his age in comparison to his peers but he has suddenly decided off his own bat to colour in and make patterns with the result his writing is better. He listens more or concentrates more at school as he now understands it's not a play environment having seen his cousins go through the 11 plus.

I'm not for one moment suggesting your DC does not have dyspraxia, and indeed, remain open to the fact that maybe my DS is. BUT, do not try to read into symptoms that can be explained by the personality he has, the environment he is in, or other factors.

Some times it just "clicks" later with some of them.

My DC1 is dyspraxic. I took him to the Dr.'s and insisted on a referal. He has seen all sorts of specialists and even had a CT scan and eventually a year later we had the diagnosis.

He eventually learnt to ride a bike this summer. This is with him just being extremely determined and year after year trying and trying. We have managed to get him to tie his tie this year as well. We started by doing it for him till the last step and then he would do that with us talking him through it. When he mastered that without prompting I did the tie up to the last two steps and so on. We are working on shoe laces at the moment, eight months in and it is stil sticky but we are getting there. Getting his clothes on has been a labour of love for years but we have it cracked nearly.

He is allowed to use a pen at school, rather than a pencil. Though this year it is mainly pens anyway. He has a wedge thing to write on. He is allowed to use his netbook in school which is helping. He has problems with to many instructions but the teacher writes them out on the board for him. He has difficulty organising himself at school so he has a timetable and it details all lessons, which subject homework he should have each day and when it is due to be handed in.

He is very clumsy and can trip over air. Swimming is hilarious but with practice he his getting better. His art is immature. He is in the top five of his class for English and maths and is in the gifted and talented program for science, he's been known to explain to the teacher when she has got it wrong. He is socially inept as well.

There is a lot more but it is improving and we are getting there. Through the process we have also discovered that my DH is an undiagnosed dyspraxic with autistic tendencies ( dc1 also has autistic tendencies and dc2 is on the way for a diagnosis for autism.) DH went to university for four years and got a good degree, was a successful business manager, went back to university and did his PGCE and now is an outstanding teacher and head of department. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Can somebody please tell me how to get a dyspraxic child cycling. I have pretty much given up.

Re the cycling, we haven't done this as DS isn't really that interested but the way to go is apparently to get a balance bike or a cheaper way would be to take the pedals off. Once the child can balance on the bike whilst sort of scooting along then you can add back the pedals. It will still take time but the balance bike thing makes an extra step between stabilizers and riding without stabilizers which is sometimes what is needed to make the transition manageable.

I was a dyspraxic child, now a dyspraxic adult with two degrees who, thanks to a lot of practice and the aid of modern technology, is one of the most organised people I know. Am still messy, learnt to drive but never passed my test, and am not a fan of sports like tennis involving lots of co-ordination but am great at rock climbing. At school what I found hard was being bad at the sports we did, being different and socially awkward and getting bullied, forgetting things ALL THE TIME - my homework and the things I needed for school and getting upset about it. Being able to type in school was the thing that saved me. I did well academically with this facility allowed for in exams because of my statement.

Another on with a dyspraxic DD3 here. She is now 17 and has done well. As someone said earlier up (or down) the thread, it has got less of an issue as she has got older. She has developed coping strategies and is generally fine now, although we recognise things that others might see as slightly quirky, but to us they are just DD3.
We were lucky to have an early diagnosis at the age of 3 so that really helped for her schooling as we didnt have to fight for someone to acknowledge there was a problem.

Katharine re the cycling - it took us endless, endless hours!! As with learning most new skills to be honest. But we have found that if we all persevere it will suddenly "click" and she has "got" it!! With the cycling I remember DD3 went to the top of a grassy hill near where we live and launched herself off, she went down the hill and just kept going around the field. Eventually she fell off with DH and I charging after her, she turned to us and told us off for not teaching her how to stop!!

I hope you get a diagnosis soon and he can get some help. Dont think of the diagnosis as a negative label, see it as a ticket to getting the help he needs so that he can reach his potential!!

Many hours for cycling . Finally cracked it with an empty rucksack on her back which we held onto then let go and also a broom handle stuffed down just above back wheel to steady it. Started on a slight slope as well.

Cheers! Have done the slope and no pedals. Haven't done the huge hill and the broom handle. Good to know persistence eventually pays off :)

At Year 3/4 ds was similar to how you describe, his academic performance fairly indifferent, quiet in class and group situations, poor at team sport. However several teachers thought he was bright and sure enough a EP report in Year 6 revealed he was well above average in verbal skills, even average in numerical, masked by dyspraxia (poor motor skills, working memory, sensory issues) and potentially traits of APD and AS. He had one to one learning support and touch typing lessons and achieved an academic scholarship at 13+ to a good independent school, really blossoming as he gained an understanding of his weaknesses and developing strategies to overcome them. He is much more organised and self-disciplined than dd (NT) for example.

Of course now he has moved school he is havign to find his way a bit again but hopefully this will resolve in time and has already opted out of rugby. I hope this gives you some hope that your ds2 may yet achieve his potential and can overcome some of the challenges he may face, if indeed he is dyspraxic. An assessment could open up all sorts of possibilties. Good luck.