Can anyone share their experiences of a child with dyspraxia please?

[OrmIrian]

DS2 has been a joy and a trial to us since he was born. So many things he struggled with, so many little 'oddities' that we just put down to his character. He was OK in school until year 3 - a bit slower to get started with reading and his writing was appalling but not exceptionally so amongst little boys. But in yr 3 we had our first slightly disconcerting parents evening - we had job share teachers and they were both telling is earnestly how lovely he was and how fond they were of him but that he was really struggling in numeracy and handwriting and he was going to be getting extra help. He has had extra help - one to-one maths and special hand-writing sessions - for over a year now and things haven't really moved on that much.

This year - new teacher, bit stricter and no nonsense - tells us that she wonders if he might have a hearing problem as he really doesn't seem to take in what is said. I took him to the GP who reckons there might be mild hearing loss in one ear - we are waiting for a referral now. But at parents evening she said that he had to have all instructions broken down into seperate bits before he could follow them. I posted the details of his IEP here and some kind soul suggested dyspraxia. I have googled and googled till my fingers are sore and the description fits DS2 like a glove.

Poor hand-writing.
Drawings are detailed but childish
Constantly dropping things and tripping over.
can't follow complex instructions
Works best one-to-one but struggles in class.
Can't concentrate.
Very childish (emotionally) compared with his peers.
He can ride a bike - although he took ages to learn - but both DH and I tacitly agree that he can never be allowed out on the pavement in our road without one of us simply because we know he'll come off it or hit the wall or something! The other 2 at that age were perfectly competent.

But intelligent and knowledgable as well as creative and imaginative.

I have spoken to the teacher about my concerns and she is going to raise it with the SENCO.

Wow! This took off after a slow start.

Thanks everyone for the advice and your experiences. It's reassuring to know he can get there. Right now it feels a bit depressing. My averagely academic eldest son has just started yr 10 and GCSE course work and is struggling a bit with maths (after having been reasonably good in primary). I kept panicking a bit last night whilst staring uncomprehendingly at a page about equations on a straight line and thinking that if DS1 is having a hard time how the heck is DS2 going to cope.

I also feel like a bit of a idiot not having done something about it earlier - it seems so obvious now that there has to be a reason for his difficulties. He clearly isnt thick or lazy. But we have tended to be very laidback about letting them develop at their own pace without undue fuss so when he was a bit slower than his sibings and peers it didn't raise and red flags. Ah well....

BTW he had a reading age of 12 and came top (much to everyone's surprise including his own) in a class reading test last summer.

It's been so helpful reading everyones comments on here. My son will be 6 in March so is in his second year at primary school. Since nursery teachers have pointed out that he struggles with his learning etc and is behind in his writing, maths etc. I'm due to have his first teacher evening next week and although dyspraxia has never been mentioned I think I will be talking to them about it, as he is showing many signs.
I went to yet another assembly today where half his class got up and read beautiful poems perfectly and as usual he was left out, they never allow him to do anything in assembly, sports day or school plays, he's to young to notice at the moment but it makes me so upset :O(

Feathers your post made me want to cry!!! His school is failing him at the most basic level...everybody is good at something, and everyone deserves a chance to shine.
I had a very similar situation with DS (when he was 4 1/2 - 5)- nobody thought he noticed, but he did, and it did huge damage to his self-esteem. I would be giving his teacher a very hard time at the parent teachers. Every child needs to feel they can be successful at something.

Mrsweatherwax do you mind me asking if you are still socially awkward and if/when the bullying at school ceased?

I suspect my 10yo DS has mild dyspraxia he is very academic and quite good at certain sports which do not involve too much co ordination but he is extremely disorganised and socially awkward he has been bullied in the past and is now feeling unpopular at school. I really don't understand this aspect and wonder what I can do to help him and when or if he will catch up with his peers social skills.

orm we paid for a private report for ds2 as our GP just kept fobbing us off. He also has a high reading/spelling age, but when he was younger teachers presumed he was a bit dim because of how he presents - he zones out and struggles to complete his work. (We now know why he does this though - it's linked to his DCD.)

Thankfully his teacher last year and also this year have been much more on the ball (thank goodness) and he's getting some of the necessary adjustments...although the report may have helped with that!

We will have a think about getting a private report if the school comes up with soemthing. DH refuses to accept that DS may have anything wrong with him so I'd need to get some sort of suggestiong of a problem from the school before he'd go for that ! he works with children with severe EBD so I am guessing he finds it hard to classify anything less 'severe' as a problem - I say guessing because I don't really understand his reasoning

takenonboard The bullying eased off around Year 9, after I started doing a martial art and was able to defend myself better. Around that time I got a group of friends and became a lot more socially confident. Being bullied leaves a bit of a legacy - it's hard to always feel confident around other people and I was bullied in the workplace after leaving school. I can be a little reserved at times, but I make friends easily these days (I'm just fussy about who with). I think it helps to find your niche, such as a sport or a hobby so that you have a focal point for social interaction, but it's mostly practice and confidence. For me I had some low self esteem issues after being bullied that I had to work through in therapy. Finding things he is good at to keep the self-esteem up (those certain sports, maybe) and not tolerating any bullying sounds like a good start, and encouraging lots of group activities where he enjoys them. I don't know if social skills are taught anywhere but I think it would be a good idea if they were.

thanks MsW I am glad you came through it. Its a vicious circle isn't it - the bullying damages your social confidence which results in more bulying.......
I have said the same about social skills classes and from the posts I read on here there would be no shortage of takers.

Your situation is similar to mine. Son is now 13 and just being officially diagnosed with dyspraxia this morning. I had noticed something wasn't right since year 3 but they kept telling me he is getting extra support. It became more apparent when he started secondary school and he kept getting detention after detention for forgetting homework and forgetting to attend detention.

Spoke to the school, not really helpful and someone on mumsnet suggested I should talk to my GP. I must say it was the best thing I ever did. Not happy he has got it but happy that he would hopefully get the help needed. We have got our first OT appt in December.

Fingers x

I am dyspraxic as well, msWeatherwax your posts sound exactly the same as my experience!

I still can't ride a bike well, but tbh it's not really an issue! I'm learning to drive now, it's taking me longer, but it's getting there, hopefully! It's really not that big a deal, honestly. Most of the things I struggle with I don't really need - I never really handwrite anything anymore, or use maths at all! I got my grade C GCSE so I could go on to college and uni, and not used it since.

The only thing I still struggle with is being socially awkward sometimes.

Take the trainer wheels off, Sit the child on the bike and ask to propel themselves forward with their feet. Do this a couple of times, then ask them to lift the feet onto the pedals.

Our son had NDD and he pretty much learned to bike in a single day using this method.

Bit of an update. The SENCO had a quick chat with me in the playground one day last week - DS is being checked and assesssed against a checklist but she apologised and said she wouldn't be able to meet with me about it until the NY. He brought home a letter on the last day saying that so far the main issue seems to be with his hand-writing and he will be enrolled in a scheme to help with this.

Which is great. But I hope it goes further. Hand-writing is one of the issues and obviously the one that impacts most on his school work, but it isn't the only one. I am hoping that when I meet with her, this isn't going to be the only outcome.

I can help explain the connection between dyspraxia and auditory processing (processing sound) for you. I am a speech pathologist and work with children and adults with dypsraxia. I'm also lucky enough to work in a practice with an Occupational Therapist, and combined therapy works really well. Children with dyspraxia don't have the same practise opportunities as most other children developing language, even though they are bright, intelligent children. So their brain does not lay down strong, clear representations of the sounds of speech. The difficulty increases when they are expected to remember long instructions or pieces of information in complex sentences. There is more info on my website, www.dyspraxia.info. Feel free to use the information, and all the best for your kids. They can certainly live a full, enjoyable life with school success and social interaction.