Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Slimming World

Discuss Slimming World experiences, tips and success stories. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Feeling pressured by consultant. What to do?

49 replies

FrodoAteMyRing · 13/10/2021 02:02

Im back to slimming world, a different group this time.
The consultant is nice but too upbeat and very much "lose 4 pounds every week" Hmm... She herself has lost her weight stupidly fast, like a stone a month, I think. And it just makes me feel so pressured.

My first week I lost 2 pounds and she asked me if I was disappointed.
Then everyone in group started to "comfort" me about "only" losing 2 pounds! Its a bloody loss! And most ppl who lose like 5 pounds in their first week, guess what, its mainly water! I did everything right that week, I have just noticed that during certain times in my cycle I lose weight more easily and then other times harder. Im ok with that, its completely natural. But this puplic discussion about it still makes me feel crap. And then the consultant came out with this old chestnut of "Maybe you didnt eat enough" Hmm Yeah, right. If I didnt eat enough I would not be in your group! Kcals always count! Even though Slimming World sometimes like to pretend they dont and that there is certain magical food that actually makes you lose weight if you stuff your face with it Grin
I need to go to this group since I already swapped before and I cant keep doing that. But all this just makes me feel crap. I dont have an easy time losing weight, and just want to be happy when I do lose 2 pounds and not be made to feel like thats not enough!
It also doesnt help that with slimming world they always say how much you lost etc. infront of everyone. WW doesnt do that, but I cant go to WW since the next one is about 10 miles away! (some shut because of covid and havent reopend). And I do need to be weighed, just online would never work for me.
What should I do? Just try and ignore it? Its just making me not want to go, but I have to. Grrr.

OP posts:
villainousbroodmare · 13/10/2021 02:05

"Yay, I lost 2lb! Nope, not a bit disappointed."

FluffyWhiteBird · 13/10/2021 02:11

Why do you need to go to a group at all? You don't seem to want the public aspect of it, so is there something else you get out of it?

If you continue going you could treat it as an exercise in assertiveness. If asked if you're disappointed you could say no you're happy about 2lbs. If people comfort you, you could correct them and say you're happy and would like to celebrate you weightloss.

Cynical me thinks the organizer knows if you lose rapidly from a fad not slowly from a lifestyle change then you'll probably put it all back on again and more! And then you'd "have" to return to the group again. I'm presuming you pay for these groups and she's self employed by running it?

Original poster
FrodoAteMyRing · 13/10/2021 02:11

True, I need to be more assertive.
The first day when I noticed how ambitious the consultant is, I knew this was either going to be very motivating or very demotivating. I guess for me its the latter. I do appreciate that others would be motivated by her, but its just not me. I dont like the pressure to do better and better all the time, especially when its something that is already hard enough as it is. I cant be alone in this...

OP posts:
Original poster
FrodoAteMyRing · 13/10/2021 02:20

@FluffyWhiteBird

Why do you need to go to a group at all? You don't seem to want the public aspect of it, so is there something else you get out of it?

If you continue going you could treat it as an exercise in assertiveness. If asked if you're disappointed you could say no you're happy about 2lbs. If people comfort you, you could correct them and say you're happy and would like to celebrate you weightloss.

Cynical me thinks the organizer knows if you lose rapidly from a fad not slowly from a lifestyle change then you'll probably put it all back on again and more! And then you'd "have" to return to the group again. I'm presuming you pay for these groups and she's self employed by running it?

I need to go to a group because I have tried many times to do it on my own, and it always ends with my face and chocolate getting way too close Grin I used to go to group before lockdowns and did alright with it (that consultant left Sad ) certainly much better than doing it on my own. I tried to lose weight on my own during lockdown and it resulted in me putting on weight... Being weighed is what I get out of it. It just gives me a kick up the arse, but I can only deal with so much arse kicking and having someone tell me I should lose more than 2 pounds a week is a bit crap tbh. I also do enjoy other ppl in group, most of them are pretty friendly.

As to you being cynical Grin I dont know the ins and outs of how these consultants get paid so you might be right.

OP posts:
DogBirthday · 13/10/2021 03:02

Could you message her and explain? If she doesn't take it well or continues to do it then you can decide.

beccahamlet · 13/10/2021 03:06

Most people would consider 2lbs a good weight loss in a week. More than that is too fast on an on going basis, unless you're very overwieght.

Well done.

Wilma55 · 13/10/2021 07:49

Was it because it was the first week when many people lose 4 or t pounds? I never do! I would see how it goes. You could leave once she starts the who's lost what bit? I started last Saturday so wonder what reaction my loss will get.

hopeishere · 13/10/2021 07:55

Being weighed in public is what you get out of it?

I tried SW and it was not for me. Totally agree you need to find what motivates you as an individual.

frasersmummy · 13/10/2021 07:56

Why canybyoi

Dontknowwhatsnext · 13/10/2021 07:58

So is this the second group that you haven't liked? Or did you swop for another reason?

Either you need to have a chat with consultant and be honest, that you feel demotivated by her style.

Keep swopping until you find one that suits or accept, they aren't for you. I tried SW. I hated the group. It was mortifying and I quickly got fed up of the same people moaning about the same things every week. So stopped going.

They really aren't for everyone and I can imagine the consultant really impacts how they are.

Fluffypastelslippers · 13/10/2021 07:58

Bloody hell. Leave the bizarre cult of slimming world and start counting your calories. You definitely do not need to go to a group where mass shaming occurs. Fuck that shit.

PurpleDaisies · 13/10/2021 08:00

Are there any other groups locally? It sounds like maybe she’s not a great fit for you.

BrilliantBulb · 13/10/2021 08:00

I would say 2lbs a week is great! More than that and you’d risk getting that ill look that some people get when they drop weight too fast.

BikeRunSki · 13/10/2021 08:00

I’d be delighted with that weight loss @FrodoAteMyRing

My consultant used to ask people if they want great big public whoops, or if they just wanted a discreet weigh in. Can you ask your consultant that you need to come to the group, but please keep it subtle.

RedToothBrush · 13/10/2021 08:03

Is your primary problem your weight or lack of confidence?

If you worked on your confidence would that help you to lose weight on your own terms?

Strikes me that you possibility have just stumbled on one of your key issues.

Given the attitude of the instructor, I'd argue this group is more likely to further damage your confidence than help you in the long run...

PinkFootstool · 13/10/2021 08:15

That's insane I'd tell her so. I bet much doubt SW HQ would be happy with that either.

2lbs is a great weightloss, especially if you can maintain that regularly.

I've had one brilliant SW consultant and two dreadful ones. The worst one had 5 groups on one day, so it might just have been me!

TiredMummyZZZ · 13/10/2021 08:20

“Why would I be disappointed with a 2 pound loss? That’s what the NHS recommend as a weekly weight loss. I appreciate you’re trying to motivate us but I was really happy with a 2 pound loss and I feel unmotivated and shown up now. I’m not here for a quick fix, I want to lose weight for the long term and to do that healthy I need to do it slowly and steadily”.

Original poster
FrodoAteMyRing · 13/10/2021 11:07

First of, thank you all for your replies. Its nice to just get this off my chest and many of you have made really good points.

To answer some questions:

Yes I think it was because it was the first week and ppl had lost more, but I could just tell by her attitude that this is how she is. She kept saying herself how ambitious she is and telling most ppl to lose 4 pounds next week and I was getting a bit worried because there is no way in hell I would lose that fast. Im not here to starve myself. What would you even have to do to lose that fast?

I have been to Slimming World before, had a lovely, very kind consultant but she left, otherwise Id be back to her in a shot. She would ask ppl to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week on average not 4.

Yes being weighed in puplic is one thing I get out of it. But Im starting to think that it is a bit counterproductive, like someone pointed out. I also do like going to group and being social so just leaving after every weigh in is a bit against the point.

Tbh I think weight watchers would suit me better since they dont bang on about how much everyone has lost this week and instead talk about weight loss related topics. I always found that so much more useful than the pointless clapping at Slimming world. Do you think they will reopen more groups soon? Or are ppl not going because of how badly WW handled the lockdowns?

OP posts:
Original poster
FrodoAteMyRing · 13/10/2021 11:17

@RedToothBrush

Is your primary problem your weight or lack of confidence?

If you worked on your confidence would that help you to lose weight on your own terms?

Strikes me that you possibility have just stumbled on one of your key issues.

Given the attitude of the instructor, I'd argue this group is more likely to further damage your confidence than help you in the long run...

I would say both are very real problems for me. I have always had weight issues, since a young child. So my confidence used to be very low since I got so much crap for my weight even as a kid. I have been working on my confidence and it is better, but I guess not as good as someones who has always been slim. I do need to lose weight too though. I had managed to lose about 2 stone before lockdown, over a pretty long time. 1 to 2 years I think. But I managed to keep it off for a couple years as well. But lockdown made me gain it back Confused I was no where near slim with those 2 stone off by the way, I just felt much better than with them on Grin I should probably lose more like 4 to 5 stone than 2, but I guess 2 is my first target.
OP posts:
Original poster
FrodoAteMyRing · 13/10/2021 11:23

And yes confidence and feeling better about yourself are def connected to losing weight. I managed to lose those 2 stone before because I tried to be nicer to myself and not beat myself up constantly. I know I lost it over a long time but it wasnt even through proper dieting, just being less of an arse to myself. As a teenager I used to hate on my body and that sent me streight to the sweets. So I tried to stop that and it resulted in less sweet eating.
Guess that is also why it worries me that she pressures ppl, since those things are so interconnected.
Someone up thread pointed out how mortifying she would find the group scenario and I totally relate to that since I joined this group Blush

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 13/10/2021 11:28

She is a twit. I had this once years ago. At a different group. I lost nothing one week so target was set for 4 lbs instead of 2. She wrote you owe me 4 lbs on the sheet. I didn't go back.

TeaTears · 13/10/2021 11:31

How about something like low carb or keto? There’s a good group on here, much better than the shit they get you to eat on WW or SW.

RedCarsGoFaster · 13/10/2021 11:37

@TeaTears A plate of at least 1/3 veg plus lean proteins served with appropriate carbs and minimal fat is hardly a weird method of eating healthily. That's all SW comes down to.

Lots of idiots evangelise the sugar free yogurts and making crap cakes with weetabix - that's not what SW is actually teaching.

PurpleFlower1983 · 13/10/2021 12:09

You need a different group! My consultant is lovely and never shares losses with everyone, it’s very supportive.

shallIswim · 13/10/2021 12:15

Any loss is a good loss. Just hold a 1lb bag of sugar and you'll see what I mean.
She's being unrealistic.
I lost about a pound a week over 9 months and have 2 years later retained that loss. Slow but steady is the way. Frankly any idiot can starve themselves and make a quick massive loss. It's got to be sustainable.
Your group leader should know that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread